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Author Topic: When the partnership 'effort' is not even  (Read 3222 times)
elisedance
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« Reply #15 on: November 29, 2009, 05:41:00 AM »

Reality bites - but at least you are not in denial...
You spend a lot of time with her.  Can't you talk to her and ask her what she really wants to do?  I realize that this might precipitate a series of events that you have little control over - and the 'unwritten words' hint rather strongly that she would like to quit dancing.  However, if that is the case it is going to happen sooner or later anyway and you will have to find a new partner.  The time course is your choice really, by how much you push the issue - personally I would rather get things straight as soon as possible so that I could start working on new plans - but thats just me...
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QPO
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« Reply #16 on: November 30, 2009, 04:02:39 AM »

it is always hard when people dance for others....the enthusiasm wains quickly.....
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elisedance
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« Reply #17 on: November 30, 2009, 06:31:51 AM »

....if it was there at all
its obviouslly hard to sustain effort driven by another's passion - but why do parents seem to fall into this trap all the time?
Its so selfish...
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Rugby
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« Reply #18 on: November 30, 2009, 04:57:46 PM »

I was down in the changeroom at one of the comps last year when a young Russian girl walked in.  She looked over and saw one of her competitiors changing and the first thing she said was; "So you got stuck having to come too huh?"  The other girl said yeah and mentioned that she wanted to go to some event but her parents made her come there instead.  The first one then said; "Let's get this over with so we can get the hell out of here."  Obviously parents living their dreams through their kids.  I should have followed them upstairs and found out who their parents were and told them I was up for adoption.

Oh, by the way, I noticed that neither girl, nor some of the others who competed with them, are around any more.   
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elisedance
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« Reply #19 on: November 30, 2009, 05:00:22 PM »

The other girl said yeah and mentioned that she wanted to go to some event but her parents made her come there instead.  The first one then said; "Let's get this over with so we can get the hell out of here."  Obviously parents living their dreams through their kids.  I should have followed them upstairs and found out who their parents were and told them I was up for adoption.
Cheesy

me too, me TOO!
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
Lioness
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« Reply #20 on: December 26, 2009, 03:49:53 PM »

I have a feeling DP and I may run into this issue in the long run. He sees dancing as mostly a social activity. He wants to get better, sure. He wants to be good, but he's not really interested in competition.
I'd like to go all the way up there in the competition ranks. I wanna compete at high levels.

Still, if he doesn't, well, I don't want to split the partnership. He's...awesome, and I love dancing with him. If I were only going to social dance with him for the rest of my life, I'd be almost happy.
Still, I'll jump that bridge when it gets here. There's no use dwelling on it and making anything happen before its time.
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elisedance
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« Reply #21 on: December 26, 2009, 03:59:37 PM »

its manageable if you have a strong relationship and he i ssupported and not threatened by a potential competition partner - of course it assumes that the latter is also mature.  In some ways it may work better but your life partner has to be cool with you being out a lot...
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

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« Reply #22 on: December 27, 2009, 07:51:57 AM »

I have a feeling DP and I may run into this issue in the long run. He sees dancing as mostly a social activity. He wants to get better, sure. He wants to be good, but he's not really interested in competition.
I'd like to go all the way up there in the competition ranks. I wanna compete at high levels.

Still, if he doesn't, well, I don't want to split the partnership. He's...awesome, and I love dancing with him. If I were only going to social dance with him for the rest of my life, I'd be almost happy.
Still, I'll jump that bridge when it gets here. There's no use dwelling on it and making anything happen before its time.

Well, this is a good time to assess it. I know another young man that use to do the same comps with you, he dances with Fame now. perhaps you could be dance partners. You then just do social dancing with BF and comp dancers with the other. If he is awesome then he wont mind you pursuing your goals.... Cool
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Lioness
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« Reply #23 on: December 27, 2009, 02:33:36 PM »

I don't want to stop just yet, I'm just not sure how keen he'll be to go registered.
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elisedance
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« Reply #24 on: December 27, 2009, 06:19:30 PM »

Good to see that you are sensitive to his needs and aspirations.  Bodes well for your relationship I think...
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
QPO
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« Reply #25 on: December 27, 2009, 06:29:11 PM »

I don't want to stop just yet, I'm just not sure how keen he'll be to go registered.

well it is good you think about it and  are aware of the potential limitations. What would be sad in the end if you gave up your dream because he does not want too...I have done that and I speak from experience it will eat you up and you can become resentful. Roll Eyes
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SwingWaltz
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« Reply #26 on: January 25, 2010, 10:13:55 AM »

Hope yous don't mind me digging up this old thread.

I was just wondering, what if the partnership "level" is not even.
I'm facing the decision of starting a partnership with someone who's >4 levels down from me.

In Australia term, level 4 partner up with a medallist.
In USA terms, Pre-Championship partner up with what ever is 5 levels below that.

What do you think? Personal experience? Story of a friend, or a friend of a friend.  Roll Eyes
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elisedance
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« Reply #27 on: January 25, 2010, 11:01:04 AM »

Hope yous don't mind me digging up this old thread.

I was just wondering, what if the partnership "level" is not even.
I'm facing the decision of starting a partnership with someone who's >4 levels down from me.

In Australia term, level 4 partner up with a medallist.
In USA terms, Pre-Championship partner up with what ever is 5 levels below that.

What do you think? Personal experience? Story of a friend, or a friend of a friend.  Roll Eyes

Here (canada) we basically have three syllabus and two championships.  So 5 levels would be pre-bronze- or no competition training at all Shocked  So I doubt that that is equivalent.  It really depends on how many levels you have - that way we can get the approximate proportional difference...
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
elisedance
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« Reply #28 on: January 25, 2010, 11:02:31 AM »

That said, just like love conquers all so does a determined dance partnership.  The propblem as I see it is that you are both likely to rush and she may miss out on crucial basic training - and that may become a handicap down the line.

I wonder if DSV has some advice here...
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
SwingWaltz
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« Reply #29 on: January 25, 2010, 11:09:53 AM »

Here (canada) we basically have three syllabus and two championships.  So 5 levels would be pre-bronze- or no competition training at all Shocked  So I doubt that that is equivalent.  It really depends on how many levels you have - that way we can get the approximate proportional difference...

We have 3 syllabus, bronze silver gold
Then 5 levels, level 1-5. Assuming that level 5 is our highest, and championship is your highest. I'm level 4, so that would be pre-championship?
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