A Bookshelf for Bookworm

[SwingWaltz]

I saw you guys last week, you were so cute together. 

[bookworm]

studio comp on a friday??

Zac

Yep, my studio (Rio Dance Studio) has a comp every 3 weeks and every 6 months there is a Grand Final.

[elisedance]

thats the way to loose inhibitions...
I'm not really a part of a studio so don't get to showcase or do in house stuff....

[bookworm]

Haven't posted here in a while so thought I may as well since I have some interesting news.

My BF and his DP have split up. I'm kind of happy about this as they were fighting constantly and now I have him all to myself again but am also feeling a little guilty for feeling happy.
I hope we (she and I) can still be friends.

BF kept complaining to me that she wasn't taking it seriously.
From what he told me, she would often turn up to a practice late, take half an hour getting ready while he was already on the floor waiting for her, practicing his own moves. She would then want to talk instead of practice.
Or
If he was ever late and she waiting for him, she would just sit and watch the other couples instead of changing clothes/shoes and practice on her own. Then she would complain about him being late when her arrived, that he was wasting her time.
Or ........ well there was lots of complaining from both of them. I unfortunately had to sit through many lunches listening to her complaining of him as well. I got sick of listening to them and so am thinking that maybe it was for the better that they split up.

Now BF has asked me to attend some of his coaching lessons as a practice partner until he finds a new partner, which I am very happy to do.
We've discussed becoming dance partners but he is afraid that it might damage our relationship. He doesn't want to fight with me like he did with ex-DP.  I don't think that would happen and we've decided to try out for a few weeks to see how we go.
We'll still look for other partners. He'll probably find one before me. Damn man drought! 


I had another job interview today. This one with Arthur Murray. It's looking likely that I might be able to get a part time teaching job there. 
I really enjoyed the interview. The manager at the studio was really nice and we connected really well. We were in rapport practically from the minute I walked into the studio.
The studio is quite small, only two male teachers and one woman. The woman is currently working full time but wants to go to part time so they are looking for a part time teacher to fill some of her hours.
Can't wait to hear back from them. I think I would fit in really well there!

[QPO]

Interesting that he would have that worry.....I dance with my life partner and even though we have our disagreements our goals are the same....we can bounce of each other and you dont have to rely on someone else to be the partner. perhaps once you start training together you will see how that goes and may reevaluate  the decision not to partner each other. it is about tolerance adn valuing someones input.

Give it ago I say

[Lioness]

It can work, and sometimes it can't.

I think it maybe works better when you are already in a relationship, and then you become dance partners. Dance partners to relationship also works sometimes (it has for me) but it adds a whole new level of stress and emotions, rather than just a level of stress.

Best of luck

[elisedance]

I think we have a topic on this somewhere!  And the answer is, as L said, that sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't just like any other relationship
I think if my DP and I were in a life-relationship the partnership would not have lasted 2 weeks (I would probably have killed him a few minutes before he tried to kill me) - but we are now in our third year!

It sounds like you have the kind of relationship where it might work - and it would also strengthen your life-one.  Am I guessing right that he is a bit more advanced than you?  If so, and if you really want it to work, you need to put in a LOT of effort right now - and to be seen to be doing it.  Guys are smarter than we sometimes give them credit for - in particular for planning a project.  They recognize very quickly that a partner who is not so good but has talent and is prepared to put in work is a better investment than one who is better but is reluctant to invest....

Go for it girl...

[SwingWaltz]

Speaking of arguments, DP's sister came watch us practise last night. At one stage, she asked if we were arguing. We looked at eachother, and said almost at the same time that we weren't arguing at all. Then DP turned to look at a masters couple (married to eachother) practising at the other side of the floor (clearly arguing) and said "That's an argument!". We bothed laughed out loud. I think the masters couple heard her and gave us the "look"  

But more seriously, sorry to hear about the breakup. But also glad that it happened, because from what you described, it sounds nothing like a productive partnership!

Also good luck with the job! Remember my lesson!  

[bookworm]

Thanks guys!!! 

In answer to ee.
By advanced do you mean age or dance ability/level?
I'm guessing you mean dance level. In which case I would say not really. I think my technique is as good as if not better than his in some aspects (god I hope I don't sound stuck up ), though he does have more comp experience than I do.
And I am absolutely prepared to put in the work!!!! I think it would be awesome if we could make it work.

[elisedance]

Thanks guys!!! 

In answer to ee.
By advanced do you mean age or dance ability/level?
I'm guessing you mean dance level. In which case I would say not really. I think my technique is as good as if not better than his in some aspects (god I hope I don't sound stuck up ), though he does have more comp experience than I do.
And I am absolutely prepared to put in the work!!!! I think it would be awesome if we could make it work.

then really go for it.  Of course do also bear in mind what would happen to the partnership if the relationship broke up.... But maybe you should not go there

[bookworm]

Yeah I think I'll stick to happy thoughts for now 

[Lioness]

Or to the relationship if the partnership broke up.

BF and I think we can deal with it and keep dancing together. Time will tell, I guess.

[elisedance]

Or to the relationship if the partnership broke up.

BF and I think we can deal with it and keep dancing together. Time will tell, I guess.

Because you are so young, like it or not you are somewhat different.  The problem i sthat you have a lot of growing to do (this is not patrnoizing - growing goes on until the early 40s if not beyond - but it decelerates) so do be aware that either of your tastes/goals and lets face it urges may change.  Also, there is the big college crunch and you may end up in different destinations - but we can talk about that in due course...

[mummsie]

Haven't posted here in a while so thought I may as well since I have some interesting news.

My BF and his DP have split up. I'm kind of happy about this as they were fighting constantly and now I have him all to myself again but am also feeling a little guilty for feeling happy.
I hope we (she and I) can still be friends.

BF kept complaining to me that she wasn't taking it seriously.
From what he told me, she would often turn up to a practice late, take half an hour getting ready while he was already on the floor waiting for her, practicing his own moves. She would then want to talk instead of practice.
Or
If he was ever late and she waiting for him, she would just sit and watch the other couples instead of changing clothes/shoes and practice on her own. Then she would complain about him being late when her arrived, that he was wasting her time.
Or ........ well there was lots of complaining from both of them. I unfortunately had to sit through many lunches listening to her complaining of him as well. I got sick of listening to them and so am thinking that maybe it was for the better that they split up.

Now BF has asked me to attend some of his coaching lessons as a practice partner until he finds a new partner, which I am very happy to do.
We've discussed becoming dance partners but he is afraid that it might damage our relationship. He doesn't want to fight with me like he did with ex-DP.  I don't think that would happen and we've decided to try out for a few weeks to see how we go.
We'll still look for other partners. He'll probably find one before me. Damn man drought! 


I had another job interview today. This one with Arthur Murray. It's looking likely that I might be able to get a part time teaching job there. 
I really enjoyed the interview. The manager at the studio was really nice and we connected really well. We were in rapport practically from the minute I walked into the studio.
The studio is quite small, only two male teachers and one woman. The woman is currently working full time but wants to go to part time so they are looking for a part time teacher to fill some of her hours.
Can't wait to hear back from them. I think I would fit in really well there!

Dancing with your life partner isn't always bad.  I have been dancing with mine for 35 years with breaks in between when pregnant and building houses.  For the last 15 or so years we have been fairly serious with our dancing.  We have the occasional spat but I have learnt not to say anything to him that makes him feel like he is doing something wrong.  Normally our teacher works that out and so we don't need to get angry with each other.

Also on another note - be careful about accepting the job at Arthur Murray.  If you want to stay amateur, it would be wise to check your options.  I know years ago as soon as you worked as a teacher at one of those American style studios you were considered a pro.  Also because Arthur Murray isn't a recognised studio within Australia - they have different rules.  My husband started off dancing there before I met him and it took a hell of a lot of tooing and froing to return his amateur status so he could dance within the Dancesport regulations.  Don't want to burst your bubble but just be careful. - mummsie 

[elisedance]

Great point MM - here all you have to do is take a course on teaching and you are designated as a pro.  Teaching at AM would definitely qualify.  Of course, its not about unfair training or anything else its really about controlling competition for students...