Why do people expect you to compete?

[Dancerette]

There seems to be some expectation that those of us who enjoy dance, take lessons, are serious about practice and want to improve our dance skills, will inevitably compete. 

It reminds me of the trend where a dating couple is asked when they are going to get married; an engaged couple when they are going to set a wedding date; newly married couples when they are going to have a baby, etc.

We get asked, on a regular basis, if we compete. We are then asked when are we going to start. We say never, and then we get asked "why not?" I've gotten to the point where I skip past the explanations and change the subject (aka..."oh, they're playing a waltz...gotta go dance")

I need a short, to the point, one sentence explanation that will encompass all the reasons we are not going to go down that road (career and family demands, not enough time, other hobbies that we enjoy and would miss, lack of the type of qualified local instruction we would need to excel, fear that the competition world would taint some of the magic that dance has brought to our lives; we hear the stories of the bad judging, the nasty couples on the dance floor; I don't want that to be part of my dance experience, I really don't) and bring an end to the interrogation.

[elisedance]

Its awful that you feel that way.  As far as I am concerned dancing comes first and competition a distant second.  However, competition surely gives me the incentive to improve the main event

I think if someone asked me that quesiton my answer would be:

'If you don't understand, there is no point explaining since we clearly talk different dance languages.'

and avoid the whole silly discussion.

Now you go out there and dance your %^&* off

ee

[LucyDiamond]

How about a simple, "we don't want to." 

[dream a little dream]

I agree with LD, I'd just say I'm (or we're) not interested.

[LucyDiamond]

I had a psych professor tell me once that the best reason for not doing something is not wanting too.

[QPO]

Actually we had the reverse, we wanted to compete to extend our dancing and improve, we had others saying don't bother it is corrupt and etc....but we do it for ourselves and not others and have enjoyed ourselves so far...it is not about the winning it is about the growing for us.

[elisedance]

it is not about the winning it is about the growing for us.

Really?  or perhaps you mean its more about the growing...
I've never met a competitor yet for whom it really was not about winning at all....

[Dora-Satya Veda]

Really?  or perhaps you mean its more about the growing...
I've never met a competitor yet for whom it really was not about winning at all....

Well Elise, you have met one. I didn't like competing at all or doing shows for that matter. If it had been up to me then I don't think I would have competed. I was asked by a dancer that expected to compete to dance with him. I like the opportunity to learn and practice and if competing was then to be part of that then that was a price I was willing to pay. I loved the lessons, to learn, discover and to practice. I just loved to dance. I am however sure I would not have gotten as good as I did had I not competed. But I must say I never enjoyed that aspect of the dance scene. 

I would just say “At this moment in time we have no interest in competing, if that change then we might compete one day”.

Dora-Satya Veda

[elisedance]

How interesting.  Do you regret it at all though?  I mean you must have spent a lot of your growing years preparing for competition.

I think its neat how the object of dancing AT is NOT competition at all, its much more about dancing.... (though I must admit to not knowing the scene very well so maybe there are other objectives too - such as dating .  Now that should trigger a reaction )

[Dora-Satya Veda]

How interesting.  Do you regret it at all though?  I mean you must have spent a lot of your growing years preparing for competition.

I don't regret the benefits that came with the results from dancing competitions. If there would have been an alternative way to getting the same benefits that the competitions gave me, then I think I would have take that route.

I guess I don't regret it as I like where I am now.

I only competed for 10 years from I was 16 years old to I was 26 years old. So not too much time was spend on that venture. I have students that have competed many more years then I did, so I would say it was not too bad.

[elisedance]

a step then, not an end in itself...

[Dora-Satya Veda]

a step then, not an end in itself...

No not at all....it was really just a start for my research and study of the mind and human potential.

[elisedance]

I see that now.  Interestingly, I think I came to it almost the other way... a release from studying the mind and human potential

[Dancerette]

[/quote]

I didn't like competing at all or doing shows for that matter. If it had been up to me then I don't think I would have competed. I was asked by a dancer that expected to compete to dance with him. I like the opportunity to learn and practice and if competing was then to be part of that then that was a price I was willing to pay. I loved the lessons, to learn, discover and to practice. I just loved to dance. I am however sure I would not have gotten as good as I did had I not competed. But I must say I never enjoyed that aspect of the dance scene. 

I would just say “At this moment in time we have no interest in competing, if that change then we might compete one day”.

Dora-Satya Veda



[/quote]


Your words totally reflect how I fee; you just said it way better than I did

[Dora-Satya Veda]

I didn't like competing at all or doing shows for that matter. If it had been up to me then I don't think I would have competed. I was asked by a dancer that expected to compete to dance with him. I like the opportunity to learn and practice and if competing was then to be part of that then that was a price I was willing to pay. I loved the lessons, to learn, discover and to practice. I just loved to dance. I am however sure I would not have gotten as good as I did had I not competed. But I must say I never enjoyed that aspect of the dance scene.  

I would just say “At this moment in time we have no interest in competing, if that change then we might compete one day”.

Dora-Satya Veda

Your words totally reflect how I fee; you just said it way better than I did

Well, thank you DR. I just wrote from the heart of what I felt/feel. I hope you find pointers that you feel comfortable using as your explanation why you prepare not to compete.