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Author Topic: Approaching Your Partner With Internet Dance Advice  (Read 2179 times)
Dora-Satya Veda
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« Reply #15 on: July 18, 2010, 09:02:57 PM »

Humans learn when there is a need for it or when they choose to learn. Smiley  I felt there was a great need to be heard and I came up with a solution that worked for my partner and me.  Wink
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elisedance
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« Reply #16 on: July 18, 2010, 09:05:08 PM »

I use a more direct method - point my partner to the info and let him absorb it if he chooses...
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skipper
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« Reply #17 on: July 18, 2010, 11:05:28 PM »

Since I dance pro-am, I am always fearful of bringing ideas and questions to my teacher.  It works best for me if my coach brings it to the lesson.
The downside is that we only see her 3-4 times a year.

I enjoy PDO because there are so many body-school dancers here.
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elisedance
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« Reply #18 on: July 19, 2010, 02:04:20 AM »

Since I dance pro-am, I am always fearful of bringing ideas and questions to my teacher.  It works best for me if my coach brings it to the lesson.
The downside is that we only see her 3-4 times a year.

I enjoy PDO because there are so many body-school dancers here.
can you use the internet in reverse - to ask your questions?
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GreenEyes26
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« Reply #19 on: February 11, 2011, 12:14:03 PM »

The question I'm asking is if and how others are taking and sharing the advice obtained from this forum with their respective partners and even their professional coaches.  

A post by a member of PDO got me thinking about how I got started down my current very fruitful journey.  I first looked to the internet when I started to believe that there was a faster way, there was a better way, and there was more information out there than my current pro could possibly know.  At first, it was very hard to let my partner or my coach at the time know that I was obtaining advice from internet forums.  I had to be very tactful in how I presented the information I had learned.  I was a little ashamed of what I was doing because of the stigma attached at the time to obtaining dance information from an internet forum.  I can paraphrase what my coach at the time told me when he found out that I spent hours online trying to learn to dance: "stop searching for more information.  There is nothing more to learn than what I'm teaching you".  Even my partner would roll her eyes and zone out if I even hinted that I was trying out information I acquired online.  It was as if information obtained online was somehow invalid because it was free, and hence, wasn't worth trusting.

In my quest for knowledge on the internet I expanded my horizons more than I ever could've in person.  I met more people in the dance community and built a strong network of individuals spanning the globe which I never could've in person, at least, not with the limited resources available to me.  I also met my current coach through the internet who proved to be better than anyone I could've ever hoped to find in person.  In retrospect, my partner agrees that going online and being brave enough to stick with it despite all the objections and ridicule was the best thing I ever could've done for our partnership and our dancing.  Would love to hear how everyone else is using the information obtained online and if anyone else is running into the objections and ridicule that I did when I first started.  In my case, it was akin to online dating: people were doubtful at first but now it's perfectly commonplace and acceptable. 

Wow!Thanks Some guy! I really appreciate hearing from your experience Smiley
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GreenEyes26
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« Reply #20 on: February 11, 2011, 12:21:27 PM »

I have looked at this topic several times as I thought it was a great question. When I danced we didn’t have the internet (I know I am dating myself here but it is a fact). Because we didn’t have internet then I thought that I couldn’t relate at all.

I then thought back to when I danced and remembered a point that actually could be related to this. We were a group of about 6 people that would get together weekly and discuss dancing. It was almost like a think-tank. We would present our issues and then everybody would try to help work out the issues. There were times when I thought that there was some information that could help me improve my dancing. My partner didn’t like it when I would bring ideas to the table no matter where they came from. He felt I was too uneducated to bring anything to the table. I would therefore tell my dance father or mother that I had been thinking about something and if I could run it by them. They were always open to consider what I had to say. Many times the ideas that I brought up would come from these weekly get-togethers. It was actually quite often that the ideas that came from the weekly get-togethers would be implemented in our dancing. It would however always be presented to my partner by my teachers as something they thought we were ready to do.

I was very lucky to have very open and fair teachers. They were willing to hear and consider ideas no matter where they came from.

DSV

While the topic of this thread is on online forums, I really like this idea of an in-person dance “study group.” I find that a lot of connections are made between concepts when people are able to talk about them, either as experts or students. In my experience, small group discussions are places where much learning is done, and it’s so neat to see them in the dance world. Thanks for bringing this to the discussion, DSV.
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"As to methods there may be a million and then some, but principles are few. The man who grasps principles can successfully select his own methods. The man who tries methods, ignoring principles, is sure to have trouble.”

 ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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« Reply #21 on: February 12, 2011, 01:31:21 AM »

This is a very tricky subject and I am lucky as my partner is a member of this forum ( not too active) so if I mention things he does not worry, but it must be difficult if they are not involved and wonder where you get that information from. But in the end if you can provide information that can improve your dancing I think it is worth it.
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elisedance
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« Reply #22 on: February 12, 2011, 06:24:03 AM »

I have looked at this topic several times as I thought it was a great question. When I danced we didn’t have the internet (I know I am dating myself here but it is a fact). Because we didn’t have internet then I thought that I couldn’t relate at all.

I then thought back to when I danced and remembered a point that actually could be related to this. We were a group of about 6 people that would get together weekly and discuss dancing. It was almost like a think-tank. We would present our issues and then everybody would try to help work out the issues. There were times when I thought that there was some information that could help me improve my dancing. My partner didn’t like it when I would bring ideas to the table no matter where they came from. He felt I was too uneducated to bring anything to the table. I would therefore tell my dance father or mother that I had been thinking about something and if I could run it by them. They were always open to consider what I had to say. Many times the ideas that I brought up would come from these weekly get-togethers. It was actually quite often that the ideas that came from the weekly get-togethers would be implemented in our dancing. It would however always be presented to my partner by my teachers as something they thought we were ready to do.

I was very lucky to have very open and fair teachers. They were willing to hear and consider ideas no matter where they came from.

DSV

While the topic of this thread is on online forums, I really like this idea of an in-person dance “study group.” I find that a lot of connections are made between concepts when people are able to talk about them, either as experts or students. In my experience, small group discussions are places where much learning is done, and it’s so neat to see them in the dance world. Thanks for bringing this to the discussion, DSV.

I think its worth a topic on its own.  Would you like to start one GE (everyone gets a moniker...)?
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phoenix13
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« Reply #23 on: June 19, 2013, 10:09:50 PM »

This is a great topic.  I'm not big on sharing  unsolicited advice with anyone about anything.  People don't receive it well.  What I have done in the past is tell people about a dance forum I was participating in and let them draw their own conclusions.  Of course, that got creepy (for me) because I am not always comfortable with full disclosure, and knowing that friends/teachers of mine were reading my  comments got ... myeh  I didn't like it.    I participate in online forums under a username because sometimes.I want to ask critical questions about people in my dance world.  That doesn't work well if they're in my online world as well.  Just sayin.

In terms of the more general question about feedback, I agree that broaching the subject with a neutral third party is a good approach.
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elisedance
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« Reply #24 on: June 19, 2013, 11:39:18 PM »

and the dance question Tongue

[I think the topic is on things like steps, not personal life...]
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phoenix13
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« Reply #25 on: June 20, 2013, 12:05:04 AM »

Huh? I thought that was obvious  from the fact that I referenced dance multiple times in my post above yours.

But on the topic of the thread (sharing internet feedback,) that can get weird if the feedback recipients are reading online posts as well, IMHO.

The topic is about sharing unsolicited online dance advice with IRL  people.  I try not to do that if at all possible.  As I said, people in general don't receive unsolicited advice well, in dance or anything else.  Even on the rare occasion when people ask for input, they generally don't want it; they often want their own views to be reinforced. *sigh*  But, to their credit most people never even ask.
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« Reply #26 on: June 20, 2013, 05:56:12 AM »

well I think that unless someone asked me about their dancing I don't say anything. but I have from time to time say to friend and partner oh I my forum they chatted about   something about dancing and will mention it that way but . so I would pick my moment.
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phoenix13
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« Reply #27 on: June 20, 2013, 06:05:27 AM »

Yes.  Timing is everything.  

The other piece of it that I was thinking about is whether or not internet advice ... how do I put this? ... is always worth sharing.   I mean, uh.  For example, there's a really good thread in which DSV talks about the body school of thought in teaching standard, then goes on to say that what she is saying is self-consistent but may not make sense to the reader, if ones coach is teaching from a different school of thought.   She recommended talking to ones coach and finding out the coach's dance lineage, in order to get things in context. (or something like that.  I'm paraphrasing.)

That's a long-winded example, but what I mean is that the internet has limitations.  Even if the person giving the advice is brilliant and experienced, sometime, things can get lost in the translation, because the reader cannot see and feel what is being described or doesn't have enough information to put it in context.

Another reason to be careful about sharing internet advice.  I can only share what I understand through my filters, which may be misguiding me.  Certainly try new things based on what you learn on the internet, but be careful.  My $0.02.
« Last Edit: June 20, 2013, 06:30:43 AM by phoenix13 » Logged

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phoenix13
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« Reply #28 on: June 20, 2013, 06:59:52 AM »

This is a great topic.  I'm not big on sharing  unsolicited advice with anyone about anything.  People don't receive it well.  What I have done in the past is tell people about a dance forum I was participating in and let them draw their own conclusions.  Of course, that got creepy (for me) because I am not always comfortable with full disclosure, and knowing that friends/teachers of mine were reading my  comments got ... myeh  I didn't like it.    I participate in online forums under a username because sometimes.I want to ask critical questions about people in my dance world.  That doesn't work well if they're in my online world as well.  Just sayin.

In terms of the more general question about feedback, I agree that broaching the subject with a neutral third party is a good approach.

Upon re-reading, I think I should clarify.

To me, there are three parts to this question.

1) Do you offer unsolicited advice to your dance partner?
2) Do you try out dance advice you receive over the internet?
3) Do you allow your internet and IRL dance worlds to overlap?

My post above attempted (unsuccessfully, apprently) to address all three questions.


My answers:

1.  Rarely if ever.
2. Yes, but carefully.
3. Not if I can help it.  Been burned.
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elisedance
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« Reply #29 on: June 20, 2013, 10:41:01 AM »

gotcha
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
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