Love to Dance or Dance to Love

[ZPomeroy]

I've noticed that a larger amount of dancers at my local social seem to be dancing to find a relationship rather than to actually dance. Is this the same for your studios? do most people generally come for the love of dancing or dance to find love - or even a bit of both?

Zac

[elisedance]

I think most of our social dancers do so so that their legs will still hold their body up.
(its an older set )

Other than them, most are definitely there either to dance or to have a good time with the partner they came in with - there is very little if any socializing as in one person asking a person they don't know to dance.  I'm not sure I've seen anyone do it except visiting studios (its a large dance hall).

[emeralddancer]

Z .... Dream and I had this sorta discussion this weekend ... I am noticing it here more and more ...

[Lioness]

I dance to dance, but I probably wouldn't go dancing as much if a) I wasn't dancing with my current partner and b) if I didn't have a partner at all. I would go sometimes because I couldn't bear not dancing, but I certainly wouldn't enjoy it as much.

[dream a little dream]

I know one gentleman who began dancing because he wanted to find Mrs. Right.  After 10 years, he has not, and so he is turning to tennis.  I think if you begin dancing to help enlarge your social circle, whether you are married or single, then you will do so.  But, if you go into dance specifically to find a soul-mate, you run a high risk of being disappointed!

[cornutt]

My DW commented on this while we were at the studio last Friday.  I think it's mostly the inevitable result of the social crowd trending younger; simple demographics says there will be more single people.  And of course, some of those got into dancing simply to meet potential mates.  Although some of those wind up liking the dancing a lot more than they thought they would.  I've seen that happen recently too.

[Beachbum]

I think if you begin dancing to help enlarge your social circle, whether you are married or single, then you will do so.  But, if you go into dance specifically to find a soul-mate, you run a high risk of being disappointed!

I agree.  One should do things that they like to do and if romance happens, so be it.  If no romance happens, at least one has the fun of the activity.  (I started with a romantic partner but broke up with her and kept dancing for the joy of dancing.  Ironically, she called me last night and wants to start taking lessons again.    I did not volunteer to partner up with her.)

Having said that, I notice there has been an influx of newly divorced women at my studio.  Whether they are looking for romance or not is unclear.  The studio is a safe social venue to make new friends, get some exercise, and interact with men in a non-meatmarket atmosphere.  One came in with an amazingly low-cut halter top the other night  so I think her intentions were clear, but the others are not obvious about their desires.

[elisedance]

I hope there was not also an equal exodus of newly divorced men

[Beachbum]

I hope there was not also an equal exodus of newly divorced men

No.    

The single female to single male ratio is about 3:1.  Most guys at the studio are married or with their significant other. 

There is one strikingly attractive single lady who seems to get miffed when she is not the center of attention at socials.  I hear that's quite a contrast to guys usually swarming around her at singles dances in the area.

[Blue Tango]

In my studio there are quite a number of single ladies.  I notice that it's the men who mostly come to find a mate but the ladies, they have that under control.  If a guy gets too pushy, he doesn't get to dance.  There are a few guys that I remember being a bit aggressive back in the day but now they've been trained and they dance quite a lot.  Sure, some pairings happen but the rule seems to be dance first, romance second.

[elisedance]

I wonder if it changes during the course of each evening - dancing first and the, well, more pairing later...

[emeralddancer]

it is possible ... I know a few like that ... but it was on the down low for so long .... before being made public

[MusicChica]

Unfortunately, the two can get entertwined.  And what ends up happening (for me, at least) is that while my "love to dance" won't stop me from dancing--in fact, I'm in serious comp-prep mode right now--the "dance to love" element has basically turned me off from social dancing entirely in my own studio because a certain faction has begun to take over more and more.

So, instead of taking advantage of the full range of options my studio offers, all I'm doing right now is privates, currently in the early afternoon because 1) I'm unemployed so I have no reason to wait until the evening to take my lessons until I find a job, 2) pro and I are working on our showdance routine and thus need the music more often, and the studio's much less crowded in the early afternoon, and 3) yes, because I don't want my lessons interrupted by said faction.  It's a little lonely, but I'm much more productive in a quiet studio without all the, um, distractions that evening lessons bring.

[elisedance]

thats the norm for me MC - basically because the two studios I go to don't have much in the way of social dancing anyway - one is solely now for practice with DP and the other for lessons with pro.  I go to a third place for social .

Why don't you try to build a new social group at a dance hall or even a different studio away from those that bug you?  Or maybe thats a money issue...

[MusicChica]

It's more a location issue.  My studio absolutely dominates the dance scene in the city, so there aren't really many other options, and no decent ones.  If people social dance in my area, they do it at my studio.