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Author Topic: The Advice topic  (Read 7465 times)
emeralddancer
Intermediate Gold
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Posts: 2979

Nottingham, MD (by way of NJ)


« Reply #30 on: June 08, 2009, 12:04:06 PM »

I don't know. I think it is all realative honestly.

If I say I am not good, I am saying it because I know at that moment I am not good as some of the others out there, I have seen better. I do not do it for a compliment from another. But if someone pays me a compliment, I try to be gracious and my thanks are sincere.

There is definitely a difference between bragging and matter of fact stating ones achievements.

I find however in the ballroom world those achievements (to me) seem to be ambiguous to say the least. So many competitions and results, 1 persons great is a hit and miss depending on so many factors. So I rarely care of someone being highly ranked. I care if they are a genuine human being and love their craft and strive to improve it. That by far outweighs titles and medals/awards, etc ...
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It is more important who they are as people and only then is it important who they are as dancers.~Marcia Haydee
Dora-Satya Veda
Gold Star
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Posts: 6871


« Reply #31 on: June 08, 2009, 12:22:09 PM »

If I say I am not good, I am saying it because I know at that moment I am not good as some of the others out there, I have seen better.

It doesn't matter what level you are at, there are always somebody out there that know more and/or can do more then you can.

I have found that the more I know, the more I know I don't know.

It felt as if the better I got, the worse I got. When I was a beginner, I didn't know all that I was doing wrong and I thought I was doing OK. When I got better, I started realizing that I was no good. Now I am at the point where, I know my mistakes but as long as nobody sees them then it OK to be wrong. I no longer celebrate or cry over my mistakes and therefore most people don't see my mistakes.

So it is funny that when you know a little, you feel great. When you know more, you feel worse. When you get good, you accept the mistakes and get on with it.

Dora-Satya Veda
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"As we understand more things, everthing is becoming simpler"

Edward Teller
emeralddancer
Intermediate Gold
**
Posts: 2979

Nottingham, MD (by way of NJ)


« Reply #32 on: June 08, 2009, 12:52:32 PM »

AMEN is all I have to say to that Dora. Makes PERFECT sense!
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It is more important who they are as people and only then is it important who they are as dancers.~Marcia Haydee
Bordertangoman
Gold Star
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Posts: 6088



« Reply #33 on: June 08, 2009, 12:58:38 PM »

.


It doesn't matter what level you are at, there are always somebody out there that know more and/or can do more then you can.

yep: gunfighter syndrome.

. I have found that the more I know, the more I know I don't know.

It felt as if the better I got, the worse I got. When I was a beginner, I didn't know all that I was doing wrong and I thought I was doing OK. When I got better, I started realizing that I was no good. Now I am at the point where, I know my mistakes but as long as nobody sees them then it OK to be wrong. I no longer celebrate or cry over my mistakes and therefore most people don't see my mistakes.

So it is funny that when you know a little, you feel great. When you know more, you feel worse. When you get good, you accept the mistakes and get on with it.

Dora-Satya Veda

well I almost agree; if you accept the mistakes early on you will learn faster.
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”We need a witness to our lives.  There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. "
Blue Tango
Bronze
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Posts: 356



« Reply #34 on: June 09, 2009, 10:29:30 AM »

That DSV is one amazing cookie.   Kiss
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Some guy
Intermediate Silver
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Posts: 1465


« Reply #35 on: June 09, 2009, 11:14:09 AM »

That needs to be up along with the scrolling stock market ticker on Times Square
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Dora-Satya Veda
Gold Star
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Posts: 6871


« Reply #36 on: June 09, 2009, 12:19:26 PM »

if you accept the mistakes early on you will learn faster.

I do agree with you in that.

I have however found that sometimes you don't even know a mistake is a mistake till years afterwards.  Huh Shocked Huh Roll Eyes Cry

The pleasure of hindsight! Grin
« Last Edit: June 09, 2009, 12:27:30 PM by Dora-Satya Veda » Logged

"As we understand more things, everthing is becoming simpler"

Edward Teller
Dora-Satya Veda
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Posts: 6871


« Reply #37 on: June 09, 2009, 12:22:26 PM »

That DSV is one amazing cookie.   Kiss

Well, thank you BT. I am not sure what I have done to deserve the compliment Shocked.......
...... but I graciously thank you for it.  Love you   Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss
« Last Edit: June 09, 2009, 12:27:56 PM by Dora-Satya Veda » Logged

"As we understand more things, everthing is becoming simpler"

Edward Teller
Dora-Satya Veda
Gold Star
***
Posts: 6871


« Reply #38 on: June 09, 2009, 12:26:56 PM »

That needs to be up along with the scrolling stock market ticker on Times Square

Wow, this is a great day....waking up after a great nights sleep and then be complimented like this.

You guys, are sure making my day. Thank you so much for making my day brighter. Love you too   Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss
« Last Edit: June 09, 2009, 12:28:28 PM by Dora-Satya Veda » Logged

"As we understand more things, everthing is becoming simpler"

Edward Teller
Blue Tango
Bronze
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Posts: 356



« Reply #39 on: June 09, 2009, 12:32:18 PM »


Well, thank you BT. I am not sure what I have done to deserve the compliment Shocked.......
...... but I graciously thank you for it.  Love you   Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss


A rose may not know of its own beauty, it simply is... but it graces any environment that it chooses to grow in.
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elisedance
Administrator
Blackpool Finalist
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Posts: 35037


ee


« Reply #40 on: June 09, 2009, 12:43:11 PM »

There is a fine line, too, between bragging and simply stating what your accomplishments are. 
I like the people who will tell me, matter of factly, that yes, they are good and that they've done X, when I ask them if they are any good.  If I wanted a laundry list of "accomplishments", I would not have asked, as everyone will give you that list!

However, here in the States, we like people with accolades, so anyone who says that they have accomplished something is heralded as something wonderful, regardless of whether they are worthy or not.
good point on the achievements vs brag (its a fine line of course Wink). 

One of the fudamental tennets of the US is that you can be anything you want to be.  Which is, of course, patently absurd (I can not be a Kennedy, nor could I be a linguist however hard I might try ...) but its still a wonderful principle.  But it does follow that whatever step you take in that personal journey of achievement is something to celebrate - and I actually think that that is a great thing.

Where celebrating an achievement becomes distasteful is when it focuses not just on what you've done, but on what others have not or where they failed.  Its a fine line that can be broached rather easily and intentionally. Thus, when a person celebrates their win in a competition here another person who was in the same heat may feel a little uncomfortable - but usually thats OK since they already went through it at the competition itself.  however, if the first person starts to qualify the win by saying they beat a couple that they routinely lost to previously - and its the same second person here thats when it gets to be negative and accusations of bragging can be levied.

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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
Dora-Satya Veda
Gold Star
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Posts: 6871


« Reply #41 on: June 09, 2009, 01:02:05 PM »

A rose may not know of its own beauty, it simply is... but it graces any environment that it chooses to grow in.

Oh dear, BT you have me blushing now . I am normally not lost for words....but.......

Thank you soooo much. You are a wonderful, gracious man. I really appreciate your compliment.

Love you Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss
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"As we understand more things, everthing is becoming simpler"

Edward Teller
Dora-Satya Veda
Gold Star
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Posts: 6871


« Reply #42 on: June 09, 2009, 01:04:44 PM »

One of the fudamental tennets of the US is that you can be anything you want to be.  Which is, of course, patently absurd (I can not be a Kennedy, nor could I be a linguist however hard I might try ...) but its still a wonderful principle.  But it does follow that whatever step you take in that personal journey of achievement is something to celebrate - and I actually think that that is a great thing.

I totally agree. This is one, actually the most important reason why, I moved to the US.
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"As we understand more things, everthing is becoming simpler"

Edward Teller
elisedance
Administrator
Blackpool Finalist
*****
Posts: 35037


ee


« Reply #43 on: June 09, 2009, 03:06:07 PM »

Me too.  So at least there was a 50% improvement Cheesy
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
Bordertangoman
Gold Star
***
Posts: 6088



« Reply #44 on: June 10, 2009, 04:54:39 AM »




One of the fudamental tennets of the US is that you can be anything you want to be.  Which is, of course, patently absurd (I can not be a Kennedy, nor could I be a linguist however hard I might try ...) but its still a wonderful principle.  But it does follow that whatever step you take in that personal journey of achievement is something to celebrate - and I actually think that that is a great thing.

Where celebrating an achievement becomes distasteful is when it focuses not just on what you've done, but on what others have not or where they failed.  Its a fine line that can be broached rather easily and intentionally. Thus, when a person celebrates their win in a competition here another person who was in the same heat may feel a little uncomfortable - but usually thats OK since they already went through it at the competition itself.  however, if the first person starts to qualify the win by saying they beat a couple that they routinely lost to previously - and its the same second person here thats when it gets to be negative and accusations of bragging can be levied.



A manx Isle of Man joke about not liking people get above themselves:

A tourist having a pint of Okell's beer in the pub is joined at the bar by a fisherman with a bucket of live crabs. The fisherman gets a drink and ignores the bucket. The tourist watches as the crabs skitter about, trying to climb out of the bucket. He says to the fisherman 'Aren't you afraid you'll lose your crabs?'
The fisherman glances down at the bucket and replies, 'No, those there are Manx crabs. As soon as it looks like one of them is going to get out, the others gang up and pull him back down to their level.'
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”We need a witness to our lives.  There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. "
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