I am coming in late to this thread. Sorry.

Have you begun stoning yet? Have you ordered stones yet?
It looks from the picture that the color fuchsia in swarovski would be a great base color. Maybe buy some of these in 12ss or 16ss and scatter them over the bodice as a nice base color of sparkle. This way the stones will provide nice shimmer, not be too over-the-top, and will provide a base for any other accent stoning you'd like to add.
Since you don't want to go too over-the-top, have you considered sew-on stones? You can, for example, use several large sew-on stones around the neckline of your gown. If you choose crystal AB for the larger sew ons, you can sprinkle smaller flatbacks, perhaps 16ss, in swarovski crystal ab around them. This way the stoning won't appear too random, won't appear to be too much, and will blend in to the gown better.