Nervousness at comps

[QPO]

well that is being insensitive. you are a partnership after all and whoever gets nervous needs to be supported by the other partner, you are not going to dance your best otherwise....

I find it very brave of people to get up and put themselves out there where they get nervous..

[ZPomeroy]

Not sure I agree Zac: I have always performed much better with a partner that was supportive and casual and did not focus on outcome than with one that was obsessed with placings.  To say you can't do much about it is to basically say its not your concern.  It is.  A successful partnership of any kind is one where you work on challenges - all challenges - together, not just on the obvious ones.  I feel so sorry for people where the partner ignores thier needs or, worse, who are told 'its your problem, fix it'.  And yes, that has happened to me.

I never said anything about the outcome, just the fact that because of the high level she is starting at for her first registered competition means she is going to be SUPER nervous. I don't think SW would be putting pressure on is parter about results for their first competition together (i must not be being very clear tonight, everyone seems to be misinterpreting my words).....

Zac

[QPO]

Not sure I agree Zac: I have always performed much better with a partner that was supportive and casual and did not focus on outcome than with one that was obsessed with placings.  To say you can't do much about it is to basically say its not your concern.  It is.  A successful partnership of any kind is one where you work on challenges - all challenges - together, not just on the obvious ones.  I feel so sorry for people where the partner ignores thier needs or, worse, who are told 'its your problem, fix it'.  And yes, that has happened to me.

I never said anything about the outcome, just the fact that because of the high level she is starting at for her first registered competition means she is going to be SUPER nervous. I don't think SW would be putting pressure on is parter about results for their first competition together (i must not be being very clear tonight, everyone seems to be misinterpreting my words).....

Zac


oh  I have that often too  what I think is clear is about as clear as mud 

[MusicChica]

I dunno, I kind of agree with Zac.  You can tell your partner until you're blue in the face that placements don't matter, it's all for fun, etc., but until she realizes that for herself, it won't sink in.  That said, having a good attitude about it all will help her realize that, but you can't make her less nervous just by talking to her.

[elisedance]

I dunno, I kind of agree with Zac.  You can tell your partner until you're blue in the face that placements don't matter, it's all for fun, etc., but until she realizes that for herself, it won't sink in.  That said, having a good attitude about it all will help her realize that, but you can't make her less nervous just by talking to her.

Perhaps (though I don't agree for me) - but you sure can make her more nervous and if thats the case its best to make sure that if she is nervous none of that is due to you.

If my partners had said to me that:
a) to them I was the best woman dancer on the floor
b) that this competition was just for fun - we can get serious later
c) that I followed so well that they were not concerned in the slightest whether we competed at bronze or open

etc

I would have been a LOT less nervous.  And I think there are few women who would not...

 

[MusicChica]

That's what I was trying to say--you can encourage your partner to be less nervous, but you can't *make* them be less nervous.

[elisedance]

I think its a bit more than that, you can do more than encourage - the fact is that a lot of nervousness can be traced to the partner - unintentional pressure due to expectations.  The thing to do is to be sure that any nervousness in your partner was not generated by you.  And vice versa of course!

[pinkstuff]

I am suddenly nervous (not usual for me, experience of competitions n=2  ) about next competition based on the fact that there are only 3 couples at my level.  There is no where to hide!!  What do people normally do when there are few participants?? I so wish I hadn't looked at the heat lists!

[elisedance]

Ah, I think I am the world expert on this now...

First, they will probably run two (or more) heats together so you are unlikely to be only 2 coupldes.  They seem to love to put challenges out with us - junior championships may be the worst - not only are they tiny (and we are both very tall) they move like lightning so you never know where they will be.

The crucial crucial thing to do in ALL comps is to say to your partner - 'lets have fun'.  Somehow, saying it really helps you to do that - I mean why else are you there?

The next crucial thing (which I am still learning) is that ITS OK TO MAKE MISTAKES.  Watch the top level couples, very very few dance without errors - what they are really good at is recovering from them so that they are not obvious.  The worst thing to do is to scowl (or worse yell at your partner)  or any other indication of your error.  One or two judges may see the slip, ALL of them will see you acknowledging it.  But thats not my main point - if you realize that your routines and steps are not an end, but only a plan and that in the real world of dancing 'things happen' you can turn the competition into an adventure where the winner is the person with the most fortitude.

Go get them - and HAVE FUN!!!

[TangoDancer]

The crucial crucial thing to do in ALL comps is to say to your partner - 'lets have fun'.  Somehow, saying it really helps you to do that - I mean why else are you there?

The next crucial thing (which I am still learning) is that ITS OK TO MAKE MISTAKES.  Watch the top level couples, very very few dance without errors - what they are really good at is recovering from them so that they are not obvious.  

I thought this needed to be bolded and repeated. We read it, and say, "Yes, I know you're right.", and then don't do it. DO IT!

I, too, say almost everyday, "It's not how well you dance; it's how well you cover". Before a show, I had a Broadway director tell us once, "Everyone has butterflies. The trick is to get them to fly in formation".   

[elisedance]

The crucial crucial thing to do in ALL comps is to say to your partner - 'lets have fun'.  Somehow, saying it really helps you to do that - I mean why else are you there?

The next crucial thing (which I am still learning) is that ITS OK TO MAKE MISTAKES.  Watch the top level couples, very very few dance without errors - what they are really good at is recovering from them so that they are not obvious.  

I thought this needed to be bolded and repeated. We read it, and say, "Yes, I know you're right.", and then don't do it. DO IT!

I, too, say almost everyday, "It's not how well you dance; it's how well you cover". Before a show, I had a Broadway director tell us once,

"Everyone has butterflies. The trick is to get them to fly in formation".  

well, that quote is priceless. 

OTOH I usually have mixed snakes

[pinkstuff]

Thanks   I like to quote about butterflies 

[QPO]

and how about no nerves no form....if you go on without and fear are you being too complacent..it is finding the balance between having enough nerve and no nerves.

I believe that practice and going into as many comps as you can afford help

[elisedance]

I believe that practice and going into as many comps as you can afford help

for me its essential... as long as i am on the horse I'm not afraid of it

[TangoDancer]

and how about no nerves no form....if you go on without and fear are you being too complacent..it is finding the balance between having enough nerve and no nerves.

During that same conversation (the Broadway director whom I mentioned before), he also said [to the dancers], 'If you are not nervous... I am".