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Author Topic: Bad Jokes  (Read 14602 times)
Bordertangoman
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« Reply #225 on: September 17, 2010, 07:42:53 AM »

A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says "Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident."

The blonde starts sobbing "That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!"

Confused, he says, "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved."

After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, "How many is a Brazillion?"
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”We need a witness to our lives.  There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. "
elisedance
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« Reply #226 on: September 17, 2010, 09:40:18 AM »

Yup, thats definitely bad :p
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
Bordertangoman
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« Reply #227 on: September 18, 2010, 01:36:02 PM »

Yup, thats definitely bad :p

apparently the joke originated as a Bushism...
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”We need a witness to our lives.  There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. "
samina
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« Reply #228 on: September 18, 2010, 03:15:44 PM »

hah, i think that's pretty funny actually. funnier even as a bushism. Wink
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Bordertangoman
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« Reply #229 on: October 20, 2010, 11:37:49 AM »

a Rabbi arrives in heaven and sees another elderly Rabbi friend with a young blonde sitting on his knee.

"Is that your reward for living a good life.?"

No replies the rabbi. I'm her punishment!"
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”We need a witness to our lives.  There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. "
Some guy
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« Reply #230 on: October 20, 2010, 01:54:09 PM »

Q: How do you baffle an archelogist?

A: Give him a used tampon and ask him to figure out what period it's from. 


[Ok, so it's worse than bad]
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elisedance
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« Reply #231 on: October 20, 2010, 03:03:47 PM »

Yup.  we need a 'really rotten jokes' topic....
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
samina
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« Reply #232 on: October 21, 2010, 02:03:44 PM »

i wouldn't have believed we'd sink so low... Wink Tongue
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Bordertangoman
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« Reply #233 on: October 21, 2010, 04:04:13 PM »

i wouldn't have believed we'd sink so low... Wink Tongue

i know worse but they're sick rather than funny..but i have kept quiet
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”We need a witness to our lives.  There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. "
elisedance
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« Reply #234 on: October 21, 2010, 04:08:07 PM »

Thank you.  Tongue
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
SwingWaltz
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« Reply #235 on: October 21, 2010, 08:37:56 PM »

Q: How do you baffle an archelogist?

A: Give him a used tampon and ask him to figure out what period it's from. 


[Ok, so it's worse than bad]

Oh gosh this made me LOL!  Lips sealed
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Bordertangoman
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« Reply #236 on: November 09, 2010, 11:20:13 AM »

Did you hear about the cool babe that went to a dairy asked for "Whey to go"

Her name was Gert.
her friends would greet her; Yo! Gert!
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”We need a witness to our lives.  There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. "
elisedance
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« Reply #237 on: November 09, 2010, 01:36:21 PM »

Did you hear about the cool babe that went to a dairy asked for "Whey to go"

Her name was Gert.
her friends would greet her; Yo! Gert!

Go on, tell us anudder one! 
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
Bordertangoman
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« Reply #238 on: February 09, 2011, 07:35:07 AM »

Questions addressed to Canadians from non-canadians.Q: Why are Canadian mosquitoes so big?
A: We demand only the best. It takes fewer mosquitoes to make a fur coat if they're larger.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada?(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.


Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is....oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
 
 


« Last Edit: February 09, 2011, 07:39:41 AM by Bordertangoman » Logged

”We need a witness to our lives.  There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. "
elisedance
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« Reply #239 on: February 09, 2011, 09:11:45 AM »

[I think we already have these BTM Wink  much, as a canadian resident, as I love to see them again...]
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
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