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Author Topic: Teacher-student favoritism  (Read 2854 times)
QPO
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Adelaide South Australia


« Reply #15 on: May 04, 2009, 05:42:47 AM »

so when we find one, we will embrace their sage advice.
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emeralddancer
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Nottingham, MD (by way of NJ)


« Reply #16 on: May 04, 2009, 11:31:51 AM »

My situation is very peculiar.

Because I am "perceived" as a favorite (by other students), mine (teacher) will go out of the way to make the others believe I am nothing.

Which is not fun. I mean I do not want to be a favorite .... I just want to learn for crying out loud.
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« Reply #17 on: May 04, 2009, 12:21:28 PM »

At one point, I believe I was a favorite, which on one hand was fun because I got a lot of attention (which I enjoyed) and then on the other, was not because I didn't want to be singled out in front of others.
Then, I realized that another person was even more a favorite and she was invited to do participate in many activities well beyond the norm.  It really improved her dancing in ways that no one else was able to use as the instructor was constantly using her to demonstrate, taking her to outside teaching activities, etc. 
Lastly, I became not a favorite, either because the instructor was trying to show very hard that I was not a favorite or because teaching me was a burden he didn't know how to end.  As a former favorite, this was difficult and caused a lot of resentment on my part. 

If at all possible, I would run very far away from that situation.  It was a long time coming, I should have done something sooner, but I know I am in a better place for it now, even though it is still a difficult situation.
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emeralddancer
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Nottingham, MD (by way of NJ)


« Reply #18 on: May 04, 2009, 04:21:34 PM »

I honestly see nothing wrong with favoritism at all. Really. BUT .... because it can cause "issues" for others is why I tend to steer clear of it. (can not stand childish drama honestly)

Personally I could care less and rarely think on it until I am confronted by others bruised and hurt "egos"

Thats what it boils down to when one gets "hurt" they let the ego get involved (by others preconceived and (oft times misconstrued)  ideas and hurts)

Grrrrrrrrrrrr
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It is more important who they are as people and only then is it important who they are as dancers.~Marcia Haydee
dream a little dream
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« Reply #19 on: May 04, 2009, 04:33:31 PM »

But, I also think it is hurtful for the ones not the favorite.  You end up feeling that you are lacking in some way, something you are doing is not as good as or as correct as the one singled out.  Often it is not so much ego, as it is hurtful. 
Others have mentioned to me the favorite's status...she doesn't notice or doesn't do anything about it because she either doesn't see herself as the favoirte or she says to herself that she isnt' doing anything to make herself the favorite...but still, it causes resentment and hurt feelings.
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MusicChica
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« Reply #20 on: May 04, 2009, 04:57:35 PM »

I think the difference lies in the application.  A teacher can like one student over another plenty, but exalting one student over others just isn't right.

Ultimately, a teacher should treat their students basically the same, after differences in levels and personalities, etc. are accounted for.  Anything else changes the value equation of the relationship.
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QPO
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Adelaide South Australia


« Reply #21 on: May 13, 2009, 01:49:54 AM »

Yes I think a teacher should try to make everyone feel special and valued. I know that some students will try harder than others, but in front of others you should not show favoritism...not good for business
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Bordertangoman
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« Reply #22 on: May 20, 2009, 09:35:23 AM »

what about the student who is leering over the woman you like and is spending an undue amount of time with her?
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« Reply #23 on: May 20, 2009, 10:05:44 AM »

Well, I'm not sure that falls under teacher favoritism.  How does the woman feel about being leered over?
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Bordertangoman
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« Reply #24 on: May 20, 2009, 10:27:01 AM »

well leering was my judgement; I dont think she noticed as she was concentrating on dancing
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”We need a witness to our lives.  There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. "
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« Reply #25 on: May 20, 2009, 11:42:26 AM »

Okay, so then the issue is that someone is encroaching on the student you like as a teacher?
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Bordertangoman
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« Reply #26 on: May 20, 2009, 11:43:38 AM »

yeah; ethics schmethics I'm gonna flatten the guy;
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”We need a witness to our lives.  There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. "
dream a little dream
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« Reply #27 on: May 20, 2009, 04:56:23 PM »

But, do you know how the lady feels about him?
Just a thought before the flattening process begins!
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Don't forget to listen to the nightengale.
Bordertangoman
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« Reply #28 on: May 21, 2009, 04:27:08 PM »

I know what is going on in his mind that's enough reason
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”We need a witness to our lives.  There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. "
dream a little dream
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Posts: 1837


« Reply #29 on: May 21, 2009, 04:56:58 PM »

But what about her?
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Don't forget to listen to the nightengale.
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