Unlikely Film Scenarios

[Bordertangoman]

Having watched Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull where it merges with the X-Files
and mimicing Alien Vs Predator i thought combing some unlikely films might make for some
interesting spin-offs.

eg: Driving Miss Daisy could be combined with Changing Lanes

Synopsis; wise old African American driver and his Jewish chauffee go Apes*** after an RTA with a white lawyer.
Escalating graffic violence interspersed with oscar winning performances

[Bordertangoman]

Woman versus Alien in Red:
Womans says she doesnt slime on a first date. Dejected alien goes off and trashes a space colony. Woman falls his fast spaceship. Romance blossoms.

Ghandhi vs Predator;

Violent alien in India is deeply touched by Ghandhiji's non-violent stance and takes up cricket.

Star Wars VIII: Gosford Park; a bunch of people sit around at a table eating and discussing the future of the Empire.

Solaris Lanes: two directors (Soderberg Tarkovsky) and writer (Lem) crash and then heated exchange of artistic views scalates into violence.

Wings of Aliens: an alien forgets about his plans to overthrow earth and go around stopping people commiiting suicide and generally making their lives a bit better.
 

[Some guy]

Ghandhi II - The Phantom Menace Musical

Ghandhi returns to take care of the British Trade Federation by resorting to aggressive negotiations coupled with his best mind tricks.  He trains a young apprentice who later is seduced to the Dark Side after seeing a commercial for the limited release of the McRib sandwich.  Movie ends with the hit song Super-Caring-Fragile-Mystic-Plagued-With-Halitosis which later gets sued in Hollywood for copyright infringement of a popular song from the movie "Mary Poppins".

[Bordertangoman]

Ghandhi II - The Phantom Menace Musical

Ghandhi returns to take care of the British Trade Federation by resorting to aggressive negotiations coupled with his best mind tricks.  He trains a young apprentice who later is seduced to the Dark Side after seeing a commercial for the limited release of the McRib sandwich.  Movie ends with the hit song Super-Caring-Fragile-Mystic-Plagued-With-Halitosis which later gets sued in Hollywood for copyright infringement of a popular song from the movie "Mary Poppins".

sweet!

[Bordertangoman]

Coming Soon!

the Bollywood Remake of Apocalypse Now; an all-singing-and-dancing-and-lip-synching musical extravagnza of the Conrad novel: Heart of Darkness. Key songs; "Messing about in the river"  and "In the Jungle"

captain Willard goes into jungle to eliminate mad Colonel Kurtz who turns out to be a woman and they fal in love, blah blah blah..

[Some guy]

Coming Soon!

the Bollywood Remake of Apocalypse Now; an all-singing-and-dancing-and-lip-synching musical extravagnza of the Conrad novel: Heart of Darkness. Key songs; "Messing about in the river"  and "In the Jungle"

captain Willard goes into jungle to eliminate mad Colonel Kurtz who turns out to be a woman and they fal in love, blah blah blah..

Nice!  The jungle setting provides ample opportunities for the main actor and actress to conform to the Bollywood cliche of running around trees as they break out into one of 26 required songs in the movie.  The requisite rain-storm song and dance will also be a synch to pull off in the jungle backdrop!

[captain jep]

Shaun of the Ratatouille

Shaun goes to sleep. Next day he goes for the paper and finds everyone is speaking in French, twiddling a moustache (whether they have one or not) and exchanging soup recipes

Star Trek : the Pre Pre Prequel
Jim Kirk is a hottie in spandex, and he falls in love with a black lady with pointy ears. She gives birth to Tribbles , hence spawning the highly successful Tribbles franchise (endless generations of sequels)

Pitch Black meets Snow White

Prince Charming turns out to be a stone cold killer with one quirky feature : an obsession with ladies' slippers. Snow White turns out to be a lad called Jack, and only wears Combat Boots, Size 11.

[Bordertangoman]

Shaun of the Ratatouille

Shaun goes to sleep. Next day he goes for the paper and finds everyone is speaking in French, twiddling a moustache (whether they have one or not) and exchanging soup recipes

Star Trek : the Pre Pre Prequel
Jim Kirk is a hottie in spandex, and he falls in love with a black lady with pointy ears. She gives birth to Tribbles , hence spawning the highly successful Tribbles franchise (endless generations of sequels)

Pitch Black meets Snow White

Prince Charming turns out to be a stone cold killer with one quirky feature : an obsession with ladies' slippers. Snow White turns out to be a lad called Jack, and only wears Combat Boots, Size 11.

love the Pitch Black meets Snow White

[captain jep]

Notting Hill Funerals

Hugh Grant is a bumbling upper class toff who falls in love with an American film star.  The leading actress has a cheesy grin and looks good in the rain. At the end there is a huge catfight when Julia Roberts realizes she's just made the same film as Andie MacDowell has.

Star Trek Part X Men

Charles Xavier comes back from the Ashes and captains the Starship Enterprise by mind control. Magneto becomes a Borg and insists that we are all assimilated into the Shakespearian Actors Collective.

Sex and the Men in Black

Carrie and her friends are actually illegal Aliens from the planet Betelgeuse. Men in suits come and whisk them away to a foreign planet called Paris.  It all looks like it is going to end happily when Carrie is suddenly eaten up by a giant alien lizard. 

[Bordertangoman]

Reservoir Tango Lesson:(House of Flying Ganchos)

Six couples meet in a warehouse to dance tango; only one woman and one man will come out alive.

The Magnificent Seven Dwarves:

sequel to Snow White and based on Kurosawa's classic; seven samurai of dimished stature take on an evil queen and her robber band
to defend a village of humble peasants.

12 Angry Aliens

An intergalactic jury gets heated and turns into a slime and gore fest

[captain jep]

Love the House of Flying Ganchoes - am I allowed to put three films into one then? 

Well I love a challenge....

[Bordertangoman]

Love the House of Flying Ganchoes - am I allowed to put three films into one then? 

Well I love a challenge....

please dont limit yourself to three.

as a challenge write a synopsis for "Three Muskateers, coloured blue, tango

[captain jep]

The Three Milongueros

Aramis , Porthus and Athos are three portly milongueros who all look the same. Girls queue up to dance with them and sit on their knee afterwards , lovingly twirling their moustaches.

One day an American turns up at their local milonga and bumps into half the dancing couples. He is clubbed to death by the milonguero's walking sticks. The beautiful widow watches her husband being beaten away and rushes off to Paris to smoke endless cigarettes and smile at shop windows.

The milongueros go back to seducing tourists. One day a guy in combats walks onto their dance floor and devastates the other dancers with his stunning dancing ability. The guy's name is Pablo D'Artagnan and he is licensed to seduce....

[Bordertangoman]

:lol: I salute you Captain, my Captain

[Bordertangoman]

Having seen Pirates of the Caribbean At Wits End

I think we have to up the ante: so here goes

Pirates of the Caribbean 5:The Last Voyage

Capn Jack Sparrow chases after the Black Pearl only to be lured onto rocks by Sirens and has to find a Golden Fleece in order to win the hand of Helen Of Troy, but he only want a ring that she posses... that is  one of the Nine Rings forged by the Elven Lords then has to defeat the Golden Orc;  with a ferocious crew of Ulruk Hai; forunatley he has a vest of Mithril;  Elizabeth Swann then becomes the Dark Queen “All shall Love me and Dispair”
but Will saves her from this dark possession by.......an exorcist/Friar Tuck charachter , played by Brain Blessed, who is actually a transexual and used to be Jack’s Mother (Tales from the City); Elizabeth is then kidnapped by Predator who wants her as bait for the Ulruk Hai who are still after revenge and the ninth ring. Predator is then defeated by a guitar playing hombre with a magic cross bow with bolts made of Unicorn Horn; but is this Mareador a hero or villain; seven people of diminished stature are convinced he has an evil ulterior motive and they have pledged to defend a small village of peasants form his ravages even if they perish in the process. They take Capn Jack as their leader but all meet untimely gorey but  quite funny ends. The Black Pearl sails into a lagoon only to be attacked by pterodactyls and velocoraptors. Will rescues Elizabeth in the whatever Davy Jones’s ship was named. with Will’s father. He call Calypso who takes on the dinosaurs ( as her 50’ Woman self) single handed.