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Author Topic: Dealing with nuisances at social dances ...  (Read 2146 times)
phoenix13
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« on: July 08, 2013, 05:48:22 PM »

We've all dealt with them -- the drunks, the gropers, the lechers.  Then there are the undesirable dance partners -- the stinky, the heavy, the hurtful.

Question is how?  How do YOU handle these social dance pariahs without making a pariah of yourself?
« Last Edit: July 08, 2013, 09:37:30 PM by phoenix13 » Logged

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elisedance
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« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2013, 07:07:32 PM »

I'm 5'11" ... nough said...
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phoenix13
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« Reply #2 on: July 08, 2013, 07:16:14 PM »

Hehehe.  Squish them like insects?  Just kidding.



And I should clarify that in the OP, when I said heavy, I didn't mean fat.  I meant people who don't move their own weight and who therefore feel like sacks of lead. lol.
« Last Edit: July 08, 2013, 07:51:32 PM by phoenix13 » Logged

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elisedance
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« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2013, 09:33:03 PM »

Hehehe.  Squish them like insects?  Just kidding.



And I should clarify that in the OP, when I said heavy, I didn't mean fat.  I meant people who don't move their own weight and who therefore feel like sacks of lead. lol.
funny, I assumed that's what you meant - but I'm glad you clarified; after all to some skinny thing I am fat Tongue
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phoenix13
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« Reply #4 on: July 08, 2013, 09:36:25 PM »

Yeah.  But the internet is a minefield.  One can rarely be too clear.
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millitiz
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« Reply #5 on: July 09, 2013, 05:32:55 AM »

I think this is one of the questions where answers would vary greatly from a lead and a follow perspective.

As a lead, this is no question: since I have the initiation, I could just avoid asking the undesired dancers (whoever they are, whatever the traits are). Which would grreatly reduce the chance for dancing with whoever you don't want to dance with (while not looking like a snob). And when being asked...beside all the usual strategies a follow could employ, there are more options (due to the fact that lead normally do the asking); for instance, I just thought of one: when seeing the person coming toward your way, go and ask someone else dancing, quickly! Or to the bathroom, I guess.

I am wondering, do anyone ask the damaging/hurtful/painful ones to dance just to show social grace, that social etiquette requires you to do so?
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phoenix13
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« Reply #6 on: July 09, 2013, 05:51:53 AM »


I am wondering, do anyone ask the damaging/hurtful/painful ones to dance just to show social grace, that social etiquette requires you to do so?

I'm thinking about the rest of your comments. Cool

In the meantime, I'll respond to this one.  A resounding no! i will not ask a dance floor menace for a dance.  If I get caught out without a ready excuse, I'll occasionally accept a dance under duress.  But to heck with social conventions about asking everyone, just to be fair.  Uhh. no.

I do have to say, though, that I DO ask beginners, who can sometimes be hazardous to ones health. I figure they haven't had a chance to learn yet and how can they learn without time on the floor?

When I talk about nuisances, I mean they people who've been around a while and who should know better.
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elisedance
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« Reply #7 on: July 09, 2013, 07:24:31 AM »

Perhaps we should characterize a nuisance?  I men there are different kinds....
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phoenix13
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« Reply #8 on: July 09, 2013, 07:32:40 AM »

Non-dance related nuisances: lechers, drunks, gropers
Dance-related nuisances: smelly, heavy, hurtful

But that's my list.  Anybody else have suggestions or pet peeves?
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elisedance
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« Reply #9 on: July 09, 2013, 08:52:26 AM »

one of the worst is the arrogants... where it doesn't matter what goes wrong its your fault and they share it widely

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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
phoenix13
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« Reply #10 on: July 09, 2013, 10:51:38 AM »

Yep. I went to one salsa  social (at a ballroom studio, no less. But that's a digression...) in which one of the advanced salsa leads was apparently so disgusted with the rest of us that, in the middle of one of the tunes, he started loudly counting out the twos.  We were supposed to be dancing on2.  I guess he figured he was the only one who could hear.

What a jerk.  I never accepted a dance from him again.  Protocol be danged.
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millitiz
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« Reply #11 on: July 09, 2013, 11:26:42 PM »

I am slightly confused by the story...
Assuming that he is a advance lead, he should be able to dance with any timing he really wants (well, assuming that the follow isn't hopeless...), if he has to lead with his mouth, I am not exactly certain how advance he really is - either that, or he could learn some social etiquette, or he is a just loud person.

If he was really frustrated by everyone else...why did it matter to him anyway?
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phoenix13
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« Reply #12 on: July 09, 2013, 11:30:18 PM »

He was loudly counting off the twos for the rest of us, presumably because we weren't dancing on two up to his standard.  He wasn't leading or even dancing when he was doing the counting.  He was counting loudly enough for everybody at the social to hear. 

I said he was a jerk ...
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elisedance
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« Reply #13 on: July 10, 2013, 05:15:13 AM »

sounds like he should be a conductor... Tongue
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
phoenix13
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Posts: 3359



« Reply #14 on: July 10, 2013, 05:24:58 AM »

Not exactly.  If he were a conductor, we'd have had to listen to him, regardless of jerkiness.  I'll never forget Dr. Z, a widely beloved and deeply feared conductor I played for many moons ago.

"This is not a democracy. If you want to play, you will do what I say.  Period."

And we did. Cool
« Last Edit: July 10, 2013, 05:54:44 AM by phoenix13 » Logged

Dona nobis pacem.
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