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Author Topic: why don't all men want to partnerdance I mean, look where the girl is :P  (Read 1209 times)
elisedance
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« on: June 16, 2013, 08:02:36 AM »

title says it all...
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millitiz
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« Reply #1 on: June 16, 2013, 10:07:04 PM »

ego could be an issue.

Another thing is in the US's, dancing is perceived as feminine.

Also, the general consensus is that the "beginner hell" seems to be harsher on leads.

Also, if the intention is to sleep with girls, partnerdancing (maybe with the exception of salsa? I don't know. Most people come to dance to dance, especially females, even in salsa world) is actually a terrible idea.
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QPO
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« Reply #2 on: June 17, 2013, 04:55:54 AM »

I went to a social on saturday and one of the ladies attending with her husband refused to dance,
 1. He did not want to make a fool of himself.
2.  He also thought he coukd not do it.... not sure why but i think it goes back to point one.

There is an article on fb why men should ballroom dance. I will send throuh the link
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phoenix13
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« Reply #3 on: June 17, 2013, 06:07:35 AM »

Thanks. I'd love to see the article.Smiley
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cha
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« Reply #4 on: June 17, 2013, 06:24:32 AM »

Good morning!

Great topic and one that I'm struggling with right now.   Is it possible that the reasons are partially regional?  In the pocket of the state where I live, men are few and far between.  LOL especially men in my age bracket.   But if I go north, east, or south - no problem at all!  The man who co-runs the dance group that is 5 minutes away from me doesn't even show up to his own socials, full well knowing that leaders are few and there are single women coming to dance - can't figure that one out for the life of me. 

It also appears to be regional whether the gentlemen who are married and are attending the dances as a couple will split up and dance with other women.   The studio where I first learned - that rarely happened so you'd have 10 single women sitting around a table waiting to dance with the owner.   But at a studio an hour away - the couples will split and dance with others.

As to the other reasons - I have no clue and would love some light shed as well  Cheesy
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elisedance
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« Reply #5 on: June 17, 2013, 06:46:49 AM »

There should be a statue somewhere to the "Lost Lead"

Amazing how men would rather go out in the rain and grapple with a pile of other men after a odd shaped object (ball) in a pile of mud than move with a woman to lovely music etc etc

never could figure that out...
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
phoenix13
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« Reply #6 on: June 17, 2013, 07:06:22 AM »

Football is perceived as manly.  Dancing isn't.*shrug*
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elisedance
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« Reply #7 on: June 17, 2013, 07:55:59 AM »

Football is perceived as manly.  Dancing isn't.*shrug*
so... what if we covered ouselves in mud and had war sounds taped in? Roll Eyes
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
QPO
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Adelaide South Australia


« Reply #8 on: June 17, 2013, 09:28:33 AM »

http://ezinearticles.com/?Why-Should-Men-Learn-Ballroom-Dancing&id=7442938

it is going round facebook.
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phoenix13
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« Reply #9 on: June 17, 2013, 10:08:59 AM »

Thanks.  I'll take a look. Smiley
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phoenix13
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« Reply #10 on: June 17, 2013, 02:57:41 PM »

Being more of a man?  That's one way of looking at it, I suppose. Cool
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millitiz
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« Reply #11 on: June 18, 2013, 05:21:04 AM »


Apparently it doesn't get around to my corner of social world. Many good points, especially the James Bond part Grin. And being manly.

But I am not sure about the "posing a challenge" part. I mean, it is a challenge, but I don't see that beating yourself up is enjoyable if you don't really want to dance at the first place.

This is a totally separate thing: but I have read some stories hinting that ladies in fact are the obstacles for men to dance.
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cha
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« Reply #12 on: June 18, 2013, 05:22:48 AM »

Millitiz - that's interesting - how so?
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elisedance
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« Reply #13 on: June 18, 2013, 02:59:25 PM »

I'm all ears! Cheesy  (as Ross Perot famously said, crashing out of the presidential race)
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
millitiz
Intermediate Bronze

Posts: 220


« Reply #14 on: June 18, 2013, 09:52:18 PM »

Ok, I should have clarify before we go into a male female war...I actually meant SOME ladies are obstacles - not all of them, as I am sure that you ladies are wonderful people Smiley.

Story 1. So this person went to dance lessons with his wife (I assume that this is some bonding thing, or just for fun). His wife used to study in music/dancing, so it was really natural for her to "get the beat." But he wasn't able to at first (this is quite common, I'd like to point out, especially under pressure) - and his wife just told him "just feel the music" - which I think most of us know, it doesn't work quite well. So he still couldn't find the beat, and thought that he was just hopeless, and his wife was really frustrated. Needless to say, they stopped dancing quickly after. And he thought that he couldn't dance for the next 20~40 years, until he divorce (I think). He somehow went back dancing as a healing mechanic - and realized that, hey, he actually could find the beat and dance! Even better, some people he danced with actually complimented him. I think in the scenario, the lady could use a bit more patience, or at least try to understand that not everyone could "feel the music."

I could personally related to this story, because I was told that I couldn't sing, and that kept up with me until much much later in my life, when I realized that, hey, I ain't as bad as people thought.

Story 2. This is another wife husband story, but with a different spin. The story was told from a child's perspective (their child, and no, not me). This time, the couple actually both know how to dance, and enjoy (at least minimally) dancing with each other. However, when they go to socials, ladies loved to flirt/chat/dance with this husband, and that frustrated the wife to no end (before people thinking that the wife is just being too ridiculous, according the the narrator, there was some grain of truth in it). At the end, the couple both stopped dancing (to save the marriage). On the bright side, even if this couple go to dance, he won't be available to the single ladies/general crowd - so it is less of an impact if this couple decided to stop social dancing j.k.

These are the few ones on top of my head.
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