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Author Topic: Dance etiquette for beginners  (Read 2378 times)
phoenix13
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« Reply #30 on: June 21, 2013, 07:24:58 AM »

Just calling a spade a spade.  Wink

I am not seeking to judge the motives of the couples in these cases.  In my world,intent and impact are two different things.   The intent of the couples may be to have an enjoyable evening with their partners and conform to social norms.  The impact is that they have an enjoyable evening while witnessing the fact that the people in the other half of the room are not.  That is selfish in its strictest sense -- not in the negative, judgement-laden way my Mom uses it.  It is seeking their own enjoyment without considering the enjoyment of others. They certainly are allowed to do that. It's not malicious. Doesn't stop it from being selfish. *shrug*

cha also points out the potential business impact of allowing that situation to develop in a studio.  If the excess single students are like cha or me,they may well go looking for dance venues where the overriding social norm is one of inclusion.  I've never run across a studio where there weren't consistent efforts made to include partnerless people, I assume for that reason. People who go out dancing want to dance, and I think it behooves studio owners to provide them that opportunity at least some of the time, somehow. How, I don't know, but then, that's why I'm not in the business of running a dance studio.

One very fun studio I attended assigned female instructors to dance as leads.  That worked well in helping to even up the numbers a bit.  That might not work well at public dance venues but it has worked very well at in-studio socials IME.  Just one idea.  Studios hiring dance hosts is another idea.  I'm sure there are other ideas that would work.  Cool
« Last Edit: June 21, 2013, 08:17:17 AM by phoenix13 » Logged

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elisedance
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« Reply #31 on: June 21, 2013, 08:58:18 AM »

OK, but I don't think anyone would have read it that way - now they will understand what you meant.
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phoenix13
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« Reply #32 on: June 21, 2013, 09:33:00 AM »

You're right. The word selfish can have a negative connotation for some people.  Cool

I think something that can also impact getting asked for dances or not asked for dances is the type of dancer and the levels of the dancers involved.  For example, I've known of some competitive dancers who avoid dancing with social dancers and/or lower level dancers because they say it can damage their technique or that they don't find it enjoyable. I've also known of some lower level dancers who were too intimidated to ask more advanced people for a dance.

It's complicated.
« Last Edit: June 21, 2013, 09:35:13 AM by phoenix13 » Logged

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QPO
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« Reply #33 on: June 23, 2013, 09:28:47 AM »

I AM ALSO CONFLICTED ABOUT THE ISSUES OF DANCING WITH OTHERS. i DONT MIND IF v DANCES WITH ANOTHER LADY AS IT GIVES ME A CHANCE TO HAVE A REST AND i KNOW WHAT i WOULD FEEL LIKE IF i COULD NOT HAVE A DANCE. SO i WILL SAY OH WHY DOT YOU GET SO AND SO UP FOR A DANCE AND HE WOULD SAY, DONT PRESSURE ME TO DANCE WITH SOMEONE ELSE (sorry for the caps lock, but I dont want to have to retype it)

But I recently went to a dance where there were three single men and a single lady who was older and I dont think she got a dance :-/ that is the horrible part  about getting older that I dont like, that women become invisible :-/
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millitiz
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« Reply #34 on: June 23, 2013, 10:30:05 AM »

I think in general there are two main thoughts regarding social dancing - one is that I go to social dance purely for my own enjoyment (and hopefully, my partners'), and the other end of the spectrum is for the good of the dance community, I am going to make some compromises. Most people fall in between these two extremes. And both sounds reasonable - if I don't enjoy it (or at least get something out of social dancing), why the heck would I go social dancing at all? I might as well go do some laundry. On the other hand, if everyone is selfish and would only want to enjoy, the community would break down fairly quickly.

I am not saying that dancing with less experienced dancers is unenjoyable, it is fun to dance with them (well, except those that physically hurt you...). But the joy is different from dancing with someone where you can fully articulate your ability/expression.

Ok...I kinda forget why I started this post...
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phoenix13
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« Reply #35 on: June 23, 2013, 10:43:33 AM »

I AM ALSO CONFLICTED ABOUT THE ISSUES OF DANCING WITH OTHERS. i DONT MIND IF v DANCES WITH ANOTHER LADY AS IT GIVES ME A CHANCE TO HAVE A REST AND i KNOW WHAT i WOULD FEEL LIKE IF i COULD NOT HAVE A DANCE. SO i WILL SAY OH WHY DOT YOU GET SO AND SO UP FOR A DANCE AND HE WOULD SAY, DONT PRESSURE ME TO DANCE WITH SOMEONE ELSE (sorry for the caps lock, but I dont want to have to retype it)

But I recently went to a dance where there were three single men and a single lady who was older and I dont think she got a dance :-/ that is the horrible part  about getting older that I dont like, that women become invisible :-/



Well,in all fairness, when you're getting a rest, maybe he is too.   Cool

OTOH, I wholeheartedly agree with older ladies becoming invisible.  This is why I firmly believe that women should be free to do the asking.
« Last Edit: June 23, 2013, 10:49:08 AM by phoenix13 » Logged

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phoenix13
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« Reply #36 on: June 23, 2013, 10:50:28 AM »

Most people fall in between these two extremes. And both sounds reasonable - if I don't enjoy it (or at least get something out of social dancing), why the heck would I go social dancing at all? I might as well go do some laundry. On the other hand, if everyone is selfish and would only want to enjoy, the community would break down fairly quickly.


Exactly.  There needs to be a balance for the dance community to thrive.
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elisedance
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« Reply #37 on: June 23, 2013, 02:00:59 PM »

Ok...I kinda forget why I started this post...

LOL!  But we're very glad you did - your social dancing communicating wth the three wallflowers Grin
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phoenix13
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« Reply #38 on: June 28, 2013, 03:06:18 AM »

One other thing to do (although it sounds obvious) is wear appropriate shoes. For one, it's considerate of the dance floor.  Two.  It makes it more likely you'll get asked to dance.  I know of more than a few dance peoplewho judge other by their shoes.  Dance shoe wearer= serious.  Street shoe wearer = dilettante.

Fair or unfair.  There you have it.
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elisedance
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« Reply #39 on: December 09, 2013, 01:28:27 AM »

One other thing to do (although it sounds obvious) is wear appropriate shoes. For one, it's considerate of the dance floor.  Two.  It makes it more likely you'll get asked to dance.  I know of more than a few dance peoplewho judge other by their shoes.  Dance shoe wearer= serious.  Street shoe wearer = dilettante.

Fair or unfair.  There you have it.

what a great point - one you don't think about after dancing for a long time.  The other advantages are not only will you find it MUCH easier (and more comfortable) to move, but you may avoid injury because street shoes are designed to grip whereas dance shoes are designed to move without being slippery.
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« Reply #40 on: December 11, 2013, 04:37:45 AM »

indeed I encourage most of our newbies to bring dress shoes to a lesson. they find it difficult to do the turns etc with gripping shoes. I think they appreciate the advice.
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elisedance
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« Reply #41 on: December 11, 2013, 09:32:21 AM »

indeed I encourage most of our newbies to bring dress shoes to a lesson. they find it difficult to do the turns etc with gripping shoes. I think they appreciate the advice.
fo' sure... it may not be easy to understand until you test it for yourself.
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

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millitiz
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« Reply #42 on: March 03, 2014, 12:07:29 AM »

I cringe inside when ever I see people dancing with street shoes - and yes, that including hip hoppers...
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elisedance
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« Reply #43 on: March 03, 2014, 07:52:02 AM »

I cringe inside when ever I see people dancing with street shoes - and yes, that including hip hoppers...
yes - now you come to mention it, that is like scratching nails across a black board isn't it?
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

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QPO
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« Reply #44 on: March 06, 2014, 03:49:36 AM »

well wearing street shoes just make dance floors dangerous with all that dust making the floor slippery. There is one dance floor we use regularly and  it is really slippery. I know some people that have cork on the bottom of their shoes to counteract that.
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