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Author Topic: Dance etiquette for beginners  (Read 1768 times)
phoenix13
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« Reply #15 on: June 20, 2013, 08:21:54 PM »

For sure, be consistent - but there's nothing wrong with saying that you want to sit this one out - but most convincing if you just walked off the floor.


I've seen a few long articles and a few even longer conversations about the etiquette of refusing dances.  I'll try to find one,so we can pick it apart. Grin
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Dona nobis pacem.
phoenix13
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« Reply #16 on: June 20, 2013, 08:41:53 PM »

Couldn't find it.  When I googled how to refuse a dance, I kept getting hit for a song by Celine Dion.  Shocked

I did find this, though.  Aria's dance etiquette page -- a really awesome reference that's been around for a long,long time.  I wonder if Aria knows what a service she has provided to dance newbies all these years.

http://www.utdallas.edu/~aria/dance/beyond.html
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elisedance
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ee


« Reply #17 on: June 20, 2013, 09:18:43 PM »

Where I am, women ask men for whatever they want.  Not that I'm comfortable with all aspects of that, but I can easily wrap my mind around asking for a dance.  It's just three minutes.
d.o.n.t..s.a.y..i.t..d.o.n.t..s.a.y..i.t..d.o.n.t..s.a.y..i.t..d.o.n.t..s.a.y..i.t..d.o.n.t..s.a.y..i.t..
phew, almost lost our PG3 rating
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

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phoenix13
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« Reply #18 on: June 20, 2013, 09:24:08 PM »

Hehe!

I'm hoping that other things women ask for take more than three minutes.
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millitiz
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Posts: 220


« Reply #19 on: June 20, 2013, 09:27:56 PM »

Socials that I went to, ladies do ask - not sure how often, but often enough for me to get a few more dances.
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phoenix13
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« Reply #20 on: June 20, 2013, 09:33:05 PM »

Yeah. I've rarely heard of a dance scene so old fashioned that a lady can't ask for a dance.   Cool
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millitiz
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« Reply #21 on: June 20, 2013, 10:08:08 PM »

from my understanding, at ee's place, it is frowned upon.
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phoenix13
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« Reply #22 on: June 20, 2013, 10:37:13 PM »

Yes it is  I've never experienced that myself, but every dance scene is different.
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elisedance
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« Reply #23 on: June 21, 2013, 12:00:13 AM »

I've been to a dance place and sat all evening and then gone home.  I tried asking - the men look like you asked them to put on knights armour and joust Tongue
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
phoenix13
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« Reply #24 on: June 21, 2013, 12:11:00 AM »

Yes.  I know that happens.   Not sure what happened to chivalry.  I suppose it really is dead.
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elisedance
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« Reply #25 on: June 21, 2013, 01:12:13 AM »

Yes.  I know that happens.   Not sure what happened to chivalry.  I suppose it really is dead.
here its that if you have a partner you have to have a really good reason to dance with anyone else.

I guess thats one (the only?) think I miss about DC - the top dancers took pride in dancing with the beginners and the lonely hearts...
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
phoenix13
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Posts: 3359



« Reply #26 on: June 21, 2013, 01:35:27 AM »

Yes. I feel especially sympathetic to newcomers who start dancing in a scene where experienced dancers are unwelcoming.
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cha
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« Reply #27 on: June 21, 2013, 06:39:29 AM »

Wonderful good morning all!

At the studio I began dancing, most of the people who came to the dances as couples would not split up and dance with the partnerless people.  The owner actually would designate sections for singles and couples.  That was why I left - I got very tired of sitting at a table of 10 women waiting for the owner to dance with them.  That and I discovered that I wasn't learning to follow by only dancing with him.  Hundreds of dollars in private lessons and I couldn't follow anyone else.

The other day, I received a little insight into one man's reasoning for this: he said he dances to make his wife happy, and based on that, he has no reason to dance with anyone else.  When I pointed out that he would be a better leader, he "reasoned" that he didn't have to lead anyone but his wife - just so she was happy.  And they are very nice people ...  very personable and pleasant ... so go figure.

As I've traveled around to various venues, I've noticed that it seems to be a venue-oriented thing rather than a geographical thing.

But I've never encountered a venue where the women couldn't ask the men to dance.

And ED, I too have had evenings where I sat most of the time.  I'm sorry that happened to you.

Have a great day everyone!
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phoenix13
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« Reply #28 on: June 21, 2013, 06:54:25 AM »

Have a wonderful day cha!

I agree. The atmosphere can be completely different from venue to venue in the same geographical area.  Cool

I feel it's rather selfish of the couples to effectively say, "Well. I have my partner. The rest of you are out of luck."  But I suppose it's their prerogative to do that if they wish.  It also seems to me that the studio owners would do something to make sure that the singles (usually excess ladies) have somebody to dance with.

But what do I know?  *shrug*
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elisedance
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« Reply #29 on: June 21, 2013, 07:02:32 AM »

I feel it's rather selfish of the couples to effectively say, "Well. I have my partner. The rest of you are out of luck." 

I think thats a little insensitive - this is a classic case of a social culture.  Here it would be unseemly to dance with someone else - an insult to your partner.  Noone else expects it for the same reason - to dance with a person in a partnership would be to try to break that partnership up.

I'm putting it more extremely than it is.  People do dance with other partners but only either if they are personal friends or if the partner first gives permission.  However, it is the social norm.
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
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