partnerdanceonline.com
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
December 22, 2014, 07:53:39 PM

Login with username, password and session length
Search:     Advanced search
A lot of people are visiting Smiley Smiley
Undecided Undecided but not many are posting....
please say hi Cheesy
116526 Posts in 1858 Topics by 223 Members
Latest Member: dancewithmetoronto
* Home Help Search Calendar Login Register
+  partnerdanceonline.com
|-+  Partner Dancing
| |-+  Partner Dances
| | |-+  General partner dance issues (Moderators: Rugby, cornutt)
| | | |-+  Partner dancing - what is your one most important goal?
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic. « previous next »
Pages: [1] Print
Author Topic: Partner dancing - what is your one most important goal?  (Read 678 times)
elisedance
Administrator
Blackpool Finalist
*****
Posts: 35042


ee


« on: April 15, 2013, 06:00:02 AM »

This has come up for me recently with the lack of a regular (AM) partner.  What is it that I want from dancing?  It has forced me to try to identify the one thing thats most important so that I can try to achieve it by yeilding on the others.

What are the options?  There are many of course - the type of dance form; social consequences of dance; competition and winning; challenging the body; excersise; being a part of the dance world itself; technical accomplishment; impressing others - the list is endlesss  once you start to think about it.  And then you have to be honest - perhaps the hardest thing since who wants to admit that they are doing dance because they like to make others jealous?  Not that I am, I hasten to add, but it could be the case.

For me?  Its following in a dance partnership - and the kind of dance partnership that I love is international standard.  the latter is obvious as I've self-filtered over the years to this form.  The former, following, is repeated over and over in the many posts I've made on the subject - and is how I get my dance high.  To achieve this I have to be technically excellent, have to have the right state of mind and, of course, I have to have experience.  Needless to say I have to have a partner with a complimentary interest!  when I put it this way its interesting that the whole competition issue is rather irrelevant.  thats a very important finding by itself...

So of the dance opportunities out there how do I achieve this nirvanah?  Thats my next challenge - seeing as after over a year of being 'available' I have had no credible interest in forming an AM partnership.  However, its possible that I've put potential partners off by the assumption of competition - maybe there are guys out there who just want to do the same thing - but without the pressure of competing.
Logged

If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
QPO
reg mods
Continental Champion
****
Posts: 20848


Adelaide South Australia


« Reply #1 on: April 16, 2013, 06:36:03 AM »

It is the same world over EE regarding the search for partners for women. I have found that alot of men are not prepared to put themselves forward for competitions.  There are many on the social scene  our way that have the ability to compete but will not do so for whatever reason. Fear of failure? So when you find one that is prepared it is a blessing but unfortunately there are not that many. I know for a fact that if "V" co;d not dance anymore I would be in the same position as yourself.

I would love to continue to dance so I would go back to the social scene and be prepared to learn the man parts so I can always partner a lady, which will enhance my teaching skills where you have to learn both men and women's parts of routines.

Sometimes I think you are right there would be men that would love to dance with you but would feel intimidated that you have danced high level and will think they are not good enough. Can you go back to social dancing and just enjoy the dance? get involved in other ways in dancing? assisting at comps? learn your coaching so you can do teacher and pupil? but in the end it depends on what your goals are and if they are achievable.
Logged

Dance is a delicate balance between perfection and beauty.  ~Author Unknown
Dance Forum
elisedance
Administrator
Blackpool Finalist
*****
Posts: 35042


ee


« Reply #2 on: April 16, 2013, 08:07:15 AM »

It is the same world over EE regarding the search for partners for women. I have found that alot of men are not prepared to put themselves forward for competitions. 
There are a few places where its the opposite - I seem to remember cornut reporting that for his area but its rare.  Funny that women are more inclined to compete in dancing than men - the popular line is always the opposite, that men are more competetive by nature.

I would love to continue to dance so I would go back to the social scene and be prepared to learn the man parts so I can always partner a lady, which will enhance my teaching skills where you have to learn both men and women's parts of routines.

YOu can't ask a woman to dance ballroom here!  They would run a mile and the men would never dance with you again.  You can't even ask someone elses regular partner to dance.  We still live in a victorian era!

Can you go back to social dancing and just enjoy the dance? get involved in other ways in dancing? assisting at comps? learn your coaching so you can do teacher and pupil?
Social dancing is rotten here because there are no men that dance at a high enough level to even make it worth while - excpet those in partnerships and, as above, they can't dance with anyone other than their partner.  I'm not interested in being a by-stander - not without also dancing anyway; the scene is simply not that important to me and I'm a doer not a facilitator.  I guess being a teaching assistant might be OK for high-level students but I'likely at best be put on the beginners.  It would be satisfying to help - but what fun is that with respect to using my own skills and training?

but thanks for the ideas.  Right now I'm wondering if I can find a pro that has givinen up competing but has a hankering to dance....
Logged

If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
QPO
reg mods
Continental Champion
****
Posts: 20848


Adelaide South Australia


« Reply #3 on: April 16, 2013, 09:23:59 AM »

Wow to think that you cant ask a women to dance, here is it not unusual more for the new vogue as you both do very similar things, most of the dances are mirror imaged. Not so much in standard, so that would be difficult. but learning to teach as you say may put you forward so that other people become aware of you for dancing purposes.
Logged

Dance is a delicate balance between perfection and beauty.  ~Author Unknown
Dance Forum
elisedance
Administrator
Blackpool Finalist
*****
Posts: 35042


ee


« Reply #4 on: April 16, 2013, 10:28:52 AM »

they've got you there too though - if I do as much as suggest I will teach I loose my am status.  They've changed the rules for the elite though - amateur finalists (or maybe its the top three?) in the adult (but not senior) divisions CAN teach - and I I think they can teach all styles, not only those they shone at (but need to check - maybe Rugby knows).  The idea I guess is to keep these people in dancesport for national and international championships but to prevent any competition from capable dancers in other AM divisions.  Such strategies generate resentment and probably loose active dancers from the sport.
Logged

If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
phoenix13
Gold
***
Posts: 3359



« Reply #5 on: May 02, 2013, 02:59:42 PM »

I dance to make people jealous.  Grin  Just kidding!  To be honest, I haven't thought about it in years, but I shall, just because of this thread.

If  I had to answer right at this moment, though, I would say so that  I can be that little girl I remember.  When I was little, 8 or 9, my older siblings used to always, always play all sorts of music on the record player and radio.  Even though a lot of the time, nobody else was dancing, I danced with complete abandon, zero self-consciousness and pure joy.  No embarrassment.  Until one day, one of my siblings (all much older) said something like, "Wow.  She's really getting down!"   Or something like that.  And everybody laughed. I was mortified.  From then until I started taking dance lessons many years later, I never could reconnect to that sense of joy.  I fact, I can only feel it every so often now.  But,the more I dance, the more glimpses I get of that pure abandonment, pure joy feeling.  It feels good.  So I guess my goal in partner dance is to feel that while dancing with somebody else.  Not nearly as simple as it sounds, but still attainable.

In response to the looking for a partner comments yes.  It's wrought (sp?) with complications and social roadblocks. *sigh*
Logged

Dona nobis pacem.
elisedance
Administrator
Blackpool Finalist
*****
Posts: 35042


ee


« Reply #6 on: May 06, 2013, 04:46:12 AM »

I dance to make people jealous.  Grin  Just kidding!  To be honest, I haven't thought about it in years, but I shall, just because of this thread.

If  I had to answer right at this moment, though, I would say so that  I can be that little girl I remember.  When I was little, 8 or 9, my older siblings used to always, always play all sorts of music on the record player and radio.  Even though a lot of the time, nobody else was dancing, I danced with complete abandon, zero self-consciousness and pure joy.  No embarrassment.  Until one day, one of my siblings (all much older) said something like, "Wow.  She's really getting down!"   Or something like that.  And everybody laughed. I was mortified.  From then until I started taking dance lessons many years later, I never could reconnect to that sense of joy.  I fact, I can only feel it every so often now.  But,the more I dance, the more glimpses I get of that pure abandonment, pure joy feeling.  It feels good.  So I guess my goal in partner dance is to feel that while dancing with somebody else.  Not nearly as simple as it sounds, but still attainable.

what a lovely - and a little sad - story.  I wish you a partner that can provide the security for the girl to dance freely.  A great partner can do that, let us be ourselves in motion. 

I guess I really relate to what you write - thanks....
Logged

If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
phoenix13
Gold
***
Posts: 3359



« Reply #7 on: May 07, 2013, 10:54:59 AM »

Yes.  It is a little sad,but there's really no way to know when you're going to have a lasting impact on someone else.   In a twisted way, may the long-term impact was more good than bad. If my siblings hadn't laughed, maybe I wouldn't have felt the need to reconnect with dance, later in life.

Who knows?
Logged

Dona nobis pacem.
elisedance
Administrator
Blackpool Finalist
*****
Posts: 35042


ee


« Reply #8 on: May 08, 2013, 09:04:21 PM »

Always good to find a silver lining even if it wasn't really the case.  I do that with nightmares - create a new ending in my head; eventually you only remember the new one and the shivers go away.

BTW I do understand that feeling - its like happiness, you only experience it when you aren't actually thinking about it.  Perhaps thats why I need to dance at the edge so that my conscious mind will be unable to interfere with pure survival! 

I guess I'm lucky I didn't take up something like driving motorcycles instead of dance Shocked Smiley
Logged

If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
phoenix13
Gold
***
Posts: 3359



« Reply #9 on: May 08, 2013, 09:45:24 PM »

My sibs meant well and shaped me in a way that has enriched my life.   What's not silver about that?
Logged

Dona nobis pacem.
elisedance
Administrator
Blackpool Finalist
*****
Posts: 35042


ee


« Reply #10 on: May 08, 2013, 10:39:44 PM »

My sibs meant well and shaped me in a way that has enriched my life.   What's not silver about that?
I'm glad it was mostly good and you have a strong family to fall back on.  its inevitable that we will all get some scars even from the best-meaning and most loving people.  Except my mom that is - I can't remember a single negative thing about her... <3
Logged

If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
Pages: [1] Print 
« previous next »
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.12 | SMF © 2006-2008, Simple Machines LLC Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!