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Author Topic: sadness  (Read 3544 times)
elisedance
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ee


« Reply #60 on: February 07, 2013, 05:43:38 AM »

power to you R.  you truly are a survivor. 
All I can offier (a paraphrase of the adage) is that on can not live by destinations achieved but only by journeys unertaken. 

It may surprise some that I too have been on that dark road (and R you know why), I can not share it here yet but will one day I will.  I found purpose in helping others escape the fate I could have had myself and my victory over my own challenges (which must be revisted at many turns of my life) has made me the person I am today - truly thankful of being alive, of health, such as it is and of the golden opportunities to be able to do and achieve. 

Perhaps that is the secret of survival: to take that which besets you the most and try to make something positive of it.  And also, perhaps every person on earth has their own particular challenge that causes them to think that life has insufficient meaning to continue.  Or maybe its just some of us - and those that survive their particular challenge are really the ones destined for true happiness - their own nirvana - because the experience humbles you to recognize the wonder of the simple things in life and the gift that life itself is.

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Bordertangoman
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« Reply #61 on: February 07, 2013, 06:10:52 AM »

Baically, what I am saying is that you are not alone, people care about you, and you just don't know what life will bring.  Take each day one at a time and don't look too far ahead or worry what may or may not come since you may just be upset and worry about something that may not even happen.  If you are lonely and just want to shoot the breeze we are all here.  It doesn't have to be about dancing.

thank you. I appreciate your kind words. i find it more difficult to be kind to myself.
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”We need a witness to our lives.  There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. "
Rugby
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« Reply #62 on: February 08, 2013, 02:44:22 PM »

I hear yah ee.  I believe that there is a reason for everything, a greater purpose, and though we can only see the small pieces of the puzzle we don't realize that they are important since they are creating a bigger picture.  We have to try many pieces before we find the right ones that go together which can lead to frustration and the want to quit but it is going through the trials and tribulations that help us to find the right pieces to create the bigger picture.  As we go along we may not understand what the picture is suppose to be or if it is worth the work but it is what we learn as we solve the picture that is what is really important.  If we don't keep working on seeing the larger pcture we will never see what it could have been.  If sorting through the pieces becomes overwhelming this is when we have to reach out to friends to help us sort those pieces. 

Like I mentioned before, sometimes what we think is important or crippling now we realize down the road was not worth the pain and aniexty we assigned to it.  Look at high scholl where we lived and died by what the other kids thought and now we couldn't care less if we ever see them again let alone even give a hoot to what they think, but at the time it was all important and defined what we thought of ourselves.   We have to learn from that in that what we think is critical now will be that is so who cares down the road. 

I am also trying not to be a victim twice, once to the situation and once to the emotional baggage it is creating in me.  If it is something I cannot change or will have to be solved with time I have to let the worry go since the worry and stress will not solve the problem any faster, just make the problem worse.
   
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You have to fight through a lot of crap before you find your way up out of the toilet. Sometimes I think I have a good hold on the rim then I slip back in.  Each time I don't sink quite as deep though. - Rugby
elisedance
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« Reply #63 on: February 08, 2013, 03:44:27 PM »

Funnily enough I have found those quotes on FB rather useful and sometimes even inspiring.  My favorite is (and this pertains to me in particular):
"what other people think of you, is none of your business." 
I thought long about that and realized that if people think of you badly its not your problem but theirs. (of course things cange if htey act on those opinions)  But I used to fret about how people saw me until I read that and realized that I was just making myself a victim with every person I met!

I've seen several others that were likewise but they did not stick mentally as much for me.

But here's one that you might find useful:
"Peace is retraining your mind to process life as it is, not as you think it should be".  Attributed to Wayne W Dyer (author).

I like that too.  Its basically getting back to reality - existentialism etc etc.  Its all been said beforoe but somehow gains freshness from retelling.
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
Rugby
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« Reply #64 on: February 10, 2013, 11:10:01 PM »

I like that one too, so very true.  The victim one came to me one night when I was laying in bed worried about so many things and starting to feel panicked about it all.  I began to realize that no matter how much I worried I could not change it, especially at 3 in the morning so why allow myself to get so stressed!!  All I was doing was making the situation worse because now I was allowing the problem to also create emotional stress too.  I thought that I was not only a victim of the situation but now also a victim to the emotional toll it was creating.  I didn't realize that other people thought this way of being a victim twice too but it is probably because there are a lot of people sitting up in bed at 3 in the morning fretting over something.
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You have to fight through a lot of crap before you find your way up out of the toilet. Sometimes I think I have a good hold on the rim then I slip back in.  Each time I don't sink quite as deep though. - Rugby
elisedance
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« Reply #65 on: February 11, 2013, 01:12:51 AM »

I like that one too, so very true.  The victim one came to me one night when I was laying in bed worried about so many things and starting to feel panicked about it all.  I began to realize that no matter how much I worried I could not change it, especially at 3 in the morning so why allow myself to get so stressed!!  All I was doing was making the situation worse because now I was allowing the problem to also create emotional stress too.  I thought that I was not only a victim of the situation but now also a victim to the emotional toll it was creating.  I didn't realize that other people thought this way of being a victim twice too but it is probably because there are a lot of people sitting up in bed at 3 in the morning fretting over something.
Yup.
[Its 1.12 am Shocked Shocked...]
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
Bordertangoman
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« Reply #66 on: February 11, 2013, 10:59:03 AM »

Funnily enough I have found those quotes on FB rather useful and sometimes even inspiring.  My favorite is (and this pertains to me in particular):
"what other people think of you, is none of your business." 
I thought long about that and realized that if people think of you badly its not your problem but theirs. (of course things cange if htey act on those opinions)  But I used to fret about how people saw me until I read that and realized that I was just making myself a victim with every person I met!

I've seen several others that were likewise but they did not stick mentally as much for me.

But here's one that you might find useful:
"Peace is retraining your mind to process life as it is, not as you think it should be".  Attributed to Wayne W Dyer (author).

I like that too.  Its basically getting back to reality - existentialism etc etc.  Its all been said beforoe but somehow gains freshness from retelling.

there is one that I saw in an art gallery in London mnay years ago which is similar but along femiist lies

"I will not become what you see in me."

an anti-muse sentiment if ever there was one..Smiley
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”We need a witness to our lives.  There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. "
elisedance
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ee


« Reply #67 on: February 11, 2013, 02:01:02 PM »

Funnily enough I have found those quotes on FB rather useful and sometimes even inspiring.  My favorite is (and this pertains to me in particular):
"what other people think of you, is none of your business." 
I thought long about that and realized that if people think of you badly its not your problem but theirs. (of course things cange if htey act on those opinions)  But I used to fret about how people saw me until I read that and realized that I was just making myself a victim with every person I met!

I've seen several others that were likewise but they did not stick mentally as much for me.

But here's one that you might find useful:
"Peace is retraining your mind to process life as it is, not as you think it should be".  Attributed to Wayne W Dyer (author).

I like that too.  Its basically getting back to reality - existentialism etc etc.  Its all been said beforoe but somehow gains freshness from retelling.

there is one that I saw in an art gallery in London mnay years ago which is similar but along femiist lies

"I will not become what you see in me."

an anti-muse sentiment if ever there was one..Smiley
so is that where a-muse comes from??  How apropo...
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
QPO
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« Reply #68 on: March 01, 2013, 07:16:38 PM »

Have not been around  much. Daughter had operation re ently and developed a complication she has been back in hostipal trying to find an infection :-/
She has had so many needles and intibotics. But there is improvement, she may be able to go home tomorrow. Cheesy
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elisedance
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ee


« Reply #69 on: March 05, 2013, 05:50:39 AM »

Have not been around  much. Daughter had operation recently and developed a complication she has been back in hospital trying to fight an infection :-/
She has had so many needles and antibiotics. But there is improvement, she may be able to go home tomorrow. Cheesy
best wishes to her Q, - and to you too...
« Last Edit: March 11, 2013, 06:48:53 PM by QPO » Logged

If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
Rugby
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« Reply #70 on: March 07, 2013, 02:02:26 AM »

Ditto from me Q.
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You have to fight through a lot of crap before you find your way up out of the toilet. Sometimes I think I have a good hold on the rim then I slip back in.  Each time I don't sink quite as deep though. - Rugby
QPO
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« Reply #71 on: March 07, 2013, 02:48:05 AM »

she seems on the mend...still has 6 days of medication to go so fingers crossed she will not need anymore!
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elisedance
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ee


« Reply #72 on: March 07, 2013, 06:34:57 AM »

XX I  I XX
fingers crossed!
(and two thumbs Wink )
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
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