partnerdanceonline.com
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
April 18, 2014, 10:36:08 PM

Login with username, password and session length
Search:     Advanced search
A lot of people are visiting Smiley Smiley
Undecided Undecided but not many are posting....
please say hi Cheesy
116186 Posts in 1853 Topics by 221 Members
Latest Member: cleverpete
* Home Help Search Calendar Login Register
+  partnerdanceonline.com
|-+  Whats on your mind?
| |-+  Pastimes & Chatter...
| | |-+  Just to chat... (Moderators: QPO, Rugby, Lioness)
| | | |-+  sadness
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic. « previous next »
Pages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 Print
Author Topic: sadness  (Read 3564 times)
QPO
Moderator
Continental Champion
****
Posts: 20762


Adelaide South Australia


« Reply #45 on: January 03, 2013, 12:29:20 AM »

Went to a funeral today of a young man who committed suicide, the funeral auditorium was not big enough for the amount of people that turned up. He had touch the heart of so many, he was only just 19 years old with so much to live for, but something made him snap to decide end his life.

Perhaps as I have children of a similar age it has effected me as I cannot comprehend as a parent to have to bury my child.

10th September is Suicide awareness day and people are to wear yellow.  I will remind you later but if you can spread the word. if we can stop one preventable death we have done a good thing!
Logged

Dance is a delicate balance between perfection and beauty.  ~Author Unknown
Dance Forum
elisedance
Administrator
Blackpool Finalist
*****
Posts: 34896


ee


« Reply #46 on: January 03, 2013, 03:48:25 AM »

Went to a funeral today of a young man who committed suicide, the funeral auditorium was not big enough for the amount of people that turned up. He had touch the heart of so many, he was only just 19 years old with so much to live for, but something made him snap to decide end his life.

Perhaps as I have children of a similar age it has effected me as I cannot comprehend as a parent to have to bury my child.

10th September is Suicide awareness day and people are to wear yellow.  I will remind you later but if you can spread the word. if we can stop one preventable death we have done a good thing!
Suicide of a healthy person - in particular a young one - is the purest form of tragedy that there is - its just impossible to find anything good in it.  Great idea to have a day devoted to it - but obviously we need to think about it all year.  We all have our own mental hells but yet we need to also be aware of our neighbours....
Logged

If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
QPO
Moderator
Continental Champion
****
Posts: 20762


Adelaide South Australia


« Reply #47 on: January 03, 2013, 06:01:33 AM »

yes it is something that we all need to work on each day as you just dont know what the words you say will have an impact on someones mental health. Not that everyone should walk around on egg shells but you need to pick your words wisely and use them for the positive.
Logged

Dance is a delicate balance between perfection and beauty.  ~Author Unknown
Dance Forum
elisedance
Administrator
Blackpool Finalist
*****
Posts: 34896


ee


« Reply #48 on: January 04, 2013, 07:45:45 AM »

Suicide is usually a personal hell - but I'm not sure what triggers it most; a hurtful comment from someone or by a sense of isolation and having noone to talk to/care... 
Logged

If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
Bordertangoman
Gold Star
***
Posts: 6088



« Reply #49 on: January 07, 2013, 04:29:15 AM »

Thanks Q - I am back ... not crazy back ... learning balance. =)



Crazy Back is a pretty useful state at times, especially for a dancer...
Logged

”We need a witness to our lives.  There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. "
Rugby
Moderator
Gold
****
Posts: 3534



« Reply #50 on: January 17, 2013, 01:13:16 AM »

Suicide in young people can be very high.  For younger people especially the worry and depression of thinking that you are not measuring up, you are a failure or that you have nothing left to live for can be very strong.  Pressure of grades and from your fellow students can be too much for many.  On the other hand at 18 you feel that your youth has passed and being graduated from school (if not doing post-secondary) many if not all of your friends are gone and you lose the structure and fellowship that school brings.  You are now on your own and without support from others it can be very easy to feel alone and isolated as all you have known is now gone.  Graduation is such a life change that I think many could use the help of a professional to help them with the transition.  This may not have anything to do with the reason the 19 year old fellow took his life but it is reality and reason for others.   
Logged

You have to fight through a lot of crap before you find your way up out of the toilet. Sometimes I think I have a good hold on the rim then I slip back in.  Each time I don't sink quite as deep though. - Rugby
Bordertangoman
Gold Star
***
Posts: 6088



« Reply #51 on: January 17, 2013, 09:25:56 AM »

Suicide in young people can be very high.  For younger people especially the worry and depression of thinking that you are not measuring up, you are a failure or that you have nothing left to live for can be very strong.  Pressure of grades and from your fellow students can be too much for many.  On the other hand at 18 you feel that your youth has passed and being graduated from school (if not doing post-secondary) many if not all of your friends are gone and you lose the structure and fellowship that school brings.  You are now on your own and without support from others it can be very easy to feel alone and isolated as all you have known is now gone.  Graduation is such a life change that I think many could use the help of a professional to help them with the transition.  This may not have anything to do with the reason the 19 year old fellow took his life but it is reality and reason for others.   

How do we change this?

having read Stiffed some years ago, I could see that apprenticeships had the benefit of mentoring; there was a wiser pair of shoulders around to show you the ropes..
Logged

”We need a witness to our lives.  There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. "
QPO
Moderator
Continental Champion
****
Posts: 20762


Adelaide South Australia


« Reply #52 on: January 18, 2013, 03:45:59 AM »

I often wonder the pressures posed on this generation. I am not sure that was his reason, he was loved by many and was doing well at university, this was some internal demon that made him snapped one will never know, I dont know his father (who fund him) to ask him. We all felt awful as we would have supported him not to be on his own if he was lonely but I don't think that was the reason. Any way if we can stop another person from harming themselves that will be a good thing there is the suicide awareness day coming up in September so will give the community  media coverage and awareness campaign.
Logged

Dance is a delicate balance between perfection and beauty.  ~Author Unknown
Dance Forum
elisedance
Administrator
Blackpool Finalist
*****
Posts: 34896


ee


« Reply #53 on: January 18, 2013, 05:08:52 AM »

Maybe some people have a genetic mutation that makes them less able to deal with stress - thus, small things are tollerable by most can cause them to give up hope.  Its hope that keeps us going - that feeling that despite all things are going to work out.  Without hope you really would have a hard time carrying on...
Logged

If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
QPO
Moderator
Continental Champion
****
Posts: 20762


Adelaide South Australia


« Reply #54 on: January 20, 2013, 02:24:37 AM »

I think that is fair explanation. Resilience is something we all need but not everyone has it....
Logged

Dance is a delicate balance between perfection and beauty.  ~Author Unknown
Dance Forum
Rugby
Moderator
Gold
****
Posts: 3534



« Reply #55 on: January 21, 2013, 12:18:54 AM »

Hope is very important.  More so than we think.
Logged

You have to fight through a lot of crap before you find your way up out of the toilet. Sometimes I think I have a good hold on the rim then I slip back in.  Each time I don't sink quite as deep though. - Rugby
Bordertangoman
Gold Star
***
Posts: 6088



« Reply #56 on: February 06, 2013, 10:11:30 AM »

Maybe some people have a genetic mutation that makes them less able to deal with stress - thus, small things are tollerable by most can cause them to give up hope.  Its hope that keeps us going - that feeling that despite all things are going to work out.  Without hope you really would have a hard time carrying on...

sometimes I wonder. i don't think its hope that's kept me carrying on, over the years and i do wonder if i just lacked the courage the commit suicide, or even, however contradictory it may seem, that it would have drawn to much attention to me and I was terribly shy.

But here I am still alive still unhappy.
Logged

”We need a witness to our lives.  There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. "
elisedance
Administrator
Blackpool Finalist
*****
Posts: 34896


ee


« Reply #57 on: February 06, 2013, 12:01:00 PM »

Maybe some people have a genetic mutation that makes them less able to deal with stress - thus, small things are tollerable by most can cause them to give up hope.  Its hope that keeps us going - that feeling that despite all things are going to work out.  Without hope you really would have a hard time carrying on...

sometimes I wonder. i don't think its hope that's kept me carrying on, over the years and i do wonder if i just lacked the courage the commit suicide, or even, however contradictory it may seem, that it would have drawn to much attention to me and I was terribly shy.

But here I am still alive still unhappy.

hugs.  and you do make others happy Smiley
Logged

If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
Rugby
Moderator
Gold
****
Posts: 3534



« Reply #58 on: February 06, 2013, 07:22:13 PM »

I know how you feel Boardertangoman.  I have felt the same way, especially a few years ago but a few things kept me from going down that dark path.  I believe in reincarnation so I think I will just have to come back and solve the problem but in my next life, and mostly you never know what is around the corner.  There could be something that happens that completely changes your life.  I have had three major events that changed my life, the first was the near amputation of my right leg.  I spent 7 to 10 hours a day training for years, sacrificing everything, to make the Olympic team in Dressage.  Just when I catch a break and it seems like a life long dream may become a reality I have my right leg almost completely amputated in an accident and everything goes up in smoke.  It left me depressed and with no direction in life and alone since all my friends were my horse friends that had no time to hang out with a cripple.  I picked myself up and decided that I would not quit.  It took me two years but I beat the odds and walked again and began to ride.  It was not in the cards for me to be able to pick up where I left off but where one door closes another opens.
I started to dance and soon it gave me the focus I was looking for but it came at a huge cost.  This also lead to my second life change when my father was killed by my horse in a freak accident, an accident that I inadvertantly was responsible for.  This brought my life to a crashing halt and between the massive guilt and bills I fell into a black hole that I didn't care if I came out of.  I had to sell my horse and vehicle and other things to financially get through.  I could not afford to dance anymore but my DP picked up the costs of the lessons whick allowed me to carry on and to give me something to use to help get through and pull myself out of the hole yet again.  I also developed a Scarlett O'hara attitude of surviving however you can and taking it one day at a time.   
 My third life change ihappened a couple of years after my father's death when my workplace closed after working my way toward the top over the years.   I used my buy out and some RRSP's to go back to school.  The people at the competitions and at the studio got used to seeing me studying between heats and lessons.  I came out on the Dean's honour list and back in debt but full of hope.  Little did I know at that time I was considered too old for the job since people past thirties almost never got hired.  I looked upon it as having meant to be.  If I had gotten the job my back would probably be so bad by now I would have had to quit but my dancing would most likely be gone too.
I have focused on my dancing as a way to carry on and feel like I still have something going for me.  The last couple of years I have been fighting injuries and a partner that has had his desire to compete wane.  He no longer has the desire to practice or compete though it comes and goes.  When I gave up the dream of making the Olympics I took on the dream of making it in the dance worls.  They all said I would never walk but I did and I wanted to finally win a title in danicng but perhaps like my horse dream it may never come to pass.  This has left me very downcast and feeling once again lost.  But, I keep my Scarlett O'Hara going and I thinkyou have to do this too.  I give you my boring long-winded story to let you know that you are not alone and I understand how it feels, but we just never know when our life may take a major turn and it could be that tomorrow we may wake up and our life will start a wonderful new journey that we never thought could happen.     
 In the meantime, hey, look at all the karma we are probably paying off.    :0  Got to look for that silver lining.  Smiley
Logged

You have to fight through a lot of crap before you find your way up out of the toilet. Sometimes I think I have a good hold on the rim then I slip back in.  Each time I don't sink quite as deep though. - Rugby
Rugby
Moderator
Gold
****
Posts: 3534



« Reply #59 on: February 06, 2013, 10:23:32 PM »

Baically, what I am saying is that you are not alone, people care about you, and you just don't know what life will bring.  Take each day one at a time and don't look too far ahead or worry what may or may not come since you may just be upset and worry about something that may not even happen.  If you are lonely and just want to shoot the breeze we are all here.  It doesn't have to be about dancing.
Logged

You have to fight through a lot of crap before you find your way up out of the toilet. Sometimes I think I have a good hold on the rim then I slip back in.  Each time I don't sink quite as deep though. - Rugby
Pages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 Print 
« previous next »
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.11 | SMF © 2006-2008, Simple Machines LLC Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!