partnerdanceonline.com
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
July 30, 2014, 09:21:19 PM

Login with username, password and session length
Search:     Advanced search
A lot of people are visiting Smiley Smiley
Undecided Undecided but not many are posting....
please say hi Cheesy
116403 Posts in 1855 Topics by 221 Members
Latest Member: EVE_Dance
* Home Help Search Calendar Login Register
+  partnerdanceonline.com
|-+  Partner Dancing
| |-+  Partner Dances
| | |-+  General partner dance issues (Moderators: Rugby, cornutt)
| | | |-+  What do you do when partner quits?
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic. « previous next »
Pages: 1 [2] 3 Print
Author Topic: What do you do when partner quits?  (Read 1589 times)
elisedance
Administrator
Blackpool Finalist
*****
Posts: 34985


ee


« Reply #15 on: November 17, 2011, 09:03:03 PM »

Thats nice and works for you.  But dancing is for me a partnership first and formost and the incentive for that partnership should be (for me) a mutual desire to dance together.  For me (and this is personal and not a judgement), money sours that relationship because I know full well that that pro will not dance with me without it.  Indeed, the terrific pros that I have had pro-am partnerships with have yet never asked me to dance at a social event once that pay-to-dance relationship ceased.  I think that speaks volumes.
Logged

If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
ttd
Open Bronze
*
Posts: 642


« Reply #16 on: November 17, 2011, 10:02:47 PM »

I'd think after any competitive partnership has terminated, expecting that a former partner (pro or am, doesn't matter) would still dance with you socially is unrealistic. Especially if you were the one who terminated it, and went to dance with someone else (as opposed to just quitting competitive dancing). If someone made it clear that they don't want to dance with me (and terminating the partnership certainly announces just that), why would I ask them to?
Logged
elisedance
Administrator
Blackpool Finalist
*****
Posts: 34985


ee


« Reply #17 on: November 18, 2011, 02:03:11 AM »

I'd think after any competitive partnership has terminated, expecting that a former partner (pro or am, doesn't matter) would still dance with you socially is unrealistic. Especially if you were the one who terminated it, and went to dance with someone else (as opposed to just quitting competitive dancing). If someone made it clear that they don't want to dance with me (and terminating the partnership certainly announces just that), why would I ask them to?
Thats certainly not true for me - it depends on how the partnership ended - and I remained on excellent terms with all my previous partners, pro or am and stay in contact with them.   I am totally confident that (ex - sob) DP would dance with me if we were in the same social.
Logged

If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
QPO
reg mods
Continental Champion
****
Posts: 20809


Adelaide South Australia


« Reply #18 on: November 18, 2011, 06:39:23 AM »

There are always going to be pros and cons to both arrangements but at TTD mentions it is better to dance that not dance at all. It may be a stepping stone to have the exposure that someone will see you dance and another partnership will bloom.

 Grin
Logged

Dance is a delicate balance between perfection and beauty.  ~Author Unknown
Dance Forum
ttd
Open Bronze
*
Posts: 642


« Reply #19 on: November 18, 2011, 10:09:43 AM »

I'd think after any competitive partnership has terminated, expecting that a former partner (pro or am, doesn't matter) would still dance with you socially is unrealistic. Especially if you were the one who terminated it, and went to dance with someone else (as opposed to just quitting competitive dancing). If someone made it clear that they don't want to dance with me (and terminating the partnership certainly announces just that), why would I ask them to?
Thats certainly not true for me - it depends on how the partnership ended - and I remained on excellent terms with all my previous partners, pro or am and stay in contact with them.   I am totally confident that (ex - sob) DP would dance with me if we were in the same social.
Being publicly on good terms doesn't mean there was no privately held grudge (not a very good choice of words, but I can't come up with something better). When I stopped dancing with my previous pro, it was a very public blow to his ego (given that I was his best student and went on to dance with someone more experienced in the same studio) and even though we officially parted on good terms, I certainly didn't expect the rest of the relationship to stay the same, because no matter how nicely I did it, but the fact was that I dumped him. And in case of your ex-partner, he didn't dump you to dance with someone else, I understand he just quit competitive dancing. That's different, IMO.
Logged
Spiral
Intermediate Bronze

Posts: 182



« Reply #20 on: November 19, 2011, 05:33:35 AM »

Sorry to hear that Elise Sad Here's hoping someone better will come along soon.
Logged

To thy self dance true --elisedance
elisedance
Administrator
Blackpool Finalist
*****
Posts: 34985


ee


« Reply #21 on: November 19, 2011, 06:57:14 AM »

Sorry to hear that Elise Sad Here's hoping someone better will come along soon.
thanks SP... not a lot of chance though...
Logged

If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
SwingWaltz
Gold Star
***
Posts: 5772


« Reply #22 on: November 20, 2011, 07:54:37 AM »

Sorry to hear. Hope someone will come along soon!

Keep dancing!
Logged
elisedance
Administrator
Blackpool Finalist
*****
Posts: 34985


ee


« Reply #23 on: November 20, 2011, 09:46:07 AM »

Sorry to hear. Hope someone will come along soon!

Keep dancing!

the sight of one hand clapping Tongue
Logged

If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
GreenEyes26
Mind Workers
Intermediate Bronze

Posts: 110



« Reply #24 on: November 20, 2011, 03:00:32 PM »


The law of attraction will definitely make sure you get exactly what you want.  You just have to focus on the having and not on the lack of or losing your partner.

I'm sorry to hear that you are partnerless, elise. Being in that state is not a good feeling at all and I can empathize with you on a similar level. I was going to suggest the same thing as SG (above): law of attraction! Smiley What have you got to lose?
Logged

"As to methods there may be a million and then some, but principles are few. The man who grasps principles can successfully select his own methods. The man who tries methods, ignoring principles, is sure to have trouble.”

 ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
elisedance
Administrator
Blackpool Finalist
*****
Posts: 34985


ee


« Reply #25 on: November 20, 2011, 06:54:23 PM »


The law of attraction will definitely make sure you get exactly what you want.  You just have to focus on the having and not on the lack of or losing your partner.

I'm sorry to hear that you are partnerless, elise. Being in that state is not a good feeling at all and I can empathize with you on a similar level. I was going to suggest the same thing as SG (above): law of attraction! Smiley What have you got to lose?

Its a great way to go.  And I would add the 'Law of Closure' - which is not on our list.  That is when things go sour make sure they are truly ended so that you can get on with your life.

The reason I add that is that I was in a state of worrying of what was going to happen to my (ex)DP - all the stuff that goes through your mind regarding someone who you've been close with and then ends a relationship.  One has to accept that the decision - and the consequences - are the active partner's responsibility.  And thats a very hard thing to do (and not something I'm very good at - been here before Shocked ) . 

The Law of Closure states that when something has ended turn away and walk a new path.  OK, I'm being a bit presumptious but is there a law already that covers that?
Logged

If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
elisedance
Administrator
Blackpool Finalist
*****
Posts: 34985


ee


« Reply #26 on: November 20, 2011, 06:55:16 PM »

I would like to add that I think life has another challenge for me.  Just right now I have no idea what that is...
Logged

If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
Some guy
Intermediate Silver
*
Posts: 1456


« Reply #27 on: November 20, 2011, 09:07:56 PM »

Looks like what you want now is something other than what you had.  The Universe will give it to you. 
Logged
GreenEyes26
Mind Workers
Intermediate Bronze

Posts: 110



« Reply #28 on: November 20, 2011, 09:14:00 PM »

I would like to add that I think life has another challenge for me.  Just right now I have no idea what that is...

Let us know when you get an inkling!
Logged

"As to methods there may be a million and then some, but principles are few. The man who grasps principles can successfully select his own methods. The man who tries methods, ignoring principles, is sure to have trouble.”

 ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
elisedance
Administrator
Blackpool Finalist
*****
Posts: 34985


ee


« Reply #29 on: November 20, 2011, 09:58:53 PM »

I would like to add that I think life has another challenge for me.  Just right now I have no idea what that is...

Let us know when you get an inkling!

You'd never believe this - I'd never belive this - but I got a nibble from another guy... Shocked  lets not get our hopes up... much....
Logged

If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
Pages: 1 [2] 3 Print 
« previous next »
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.11 | SMF © 2006-2008, Simple Machines LLC Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!