What do you say to your partner before competing?

[Bordertangoman]

"Do you feel lucky? well do you?"

[elisedance]

For our first comp together, I actually had a mental war - just whether to say anything to my partner. Because on one hand, I personally had this meditation, ritual, you may say, to focus myself. To concentrate myself. And I don't typically like talking during that stage. On the other hand, saying some encouragement, helping her seems to be something nice to do. Another reason was back then, my partner and I read "Maximize your Dance" (or something like that, couldn't remember the book title), and it said that right between dancing, you could/should focus on only one aspect/word of the dancing. That will help you focus. So I remembered our first comp, I told my partner what I would like to concentrate on for each rounds (frame, movement, just have fun, etc). And after the comp, she said that it helped her to actually focus. (whew~). Then the next comp, I thought, well, if it worked the first time, it probably would work the second time...when I told her, she gave me the look - so I never said any similar things anymore.

I think lately I normally gave a squeeze - though mostly right after the dancing, when we got off the floor. I mean, her hand normally was out of my reach for most of the time. That, or I have to grab her hand to squeeze it, and I have the feeling that she would punch me if I do that...

I also say something like "we will do great," "we are awesome" etc. Though I am not entirely sure if I say it for her or for myself.

Actually, for the lady, do you prefer us to say something? Or really just shut our mouth up and mind our own business?

Lovely!  Nice to hear you men are as sensitive as we are   We like to pretend of course that you are not - but sure and confident.

Most of all I want to hear from mypartner that he is looking forward to dancing with me.  Its a major - maybe the major reason for me to dance, the sensation of being needed.  Obviously not ubiquitous but ts as much a female trait as any...

[Rugby]

I think my DP was going to post "Don't f*** up" but he knows that even though we live an hour and a half apart I'm a fast driver and I know kung fu so he thought twice!!

[millitiz]

I think my DP was going to post "Don't f*** up" but he knows that even though we live an hour and a half apart I'm a fast driver and I know kung fu so he thought twice!!

And I think you have a very wise DP 

[drj]

My instructor says, "Good luck." He started saying it at our most recent competition.

And how does that make you feel? 

I'm not sure that would be that reassuring - thats fine from a friend but from my partner?  I'd rather things depended on skill than luck...

He has enough confidence in my skill not to worry about it (or else he's a SPECTACULARLY talented liar). So I was glad to accept the good luck wish. Until now. Thanks for the cheery thought, Elise. 

[elisedance]

My instructor says, "Good luck." He started saying it at our most recent competition.

And how does that make you feel? 

I'm not sure that would be that reassuring - thats fine from a friend but from my partner?  I'd rather things depended on skill than luck...

He has enough confidence in my skill not to worry about it (or else he's a SPECTACULARLY talented liar). So I was glad to accept the good luck wish. Until now. Thanks for the cheery thought, Elise. 

Anytime

It just occurred to me that perhaps the best way to find out what you should say to your partner is to ask him/her!  Funny how the obvious is often the last idea...

So I tried this and it turns out that 'not very much' is the way to go.  Now I wish he would ask me

[Bordertangoman]

the Green Knight approach..

[elisedance]

the Green Knight approach..

..which is?...

[Bordertangoman]

part of Sir Gawain's story...
Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch put her worst manners on display. She ate with her hands, belched and farted, and made everyone uncomfortable. The wedding night approached: Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific night, entered the bedroom. What a sight awaited! The most beautiful woman heíd ever seen lay before him! Gawain was astounded and asked what had happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her (when sheíd been a witch), half the time she would be her horrible, deformed self, and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self. Which would he want her to be during the day and which during the night? What a cruel question!

Gawain began to think of his predicament: During the day a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old spooky witch? Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman to enjoy many intimate moments? What would you do? What Gawain chose follows below.

Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her and had let her be in charge of her own life.

[elisedance]

part of Sir Gawain's story...
Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch put her worst manners on display. She ate with her hands, belched and farted, and made everyone uncomfortable. The wedding night approached: Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific night, entered the bedroom. What a sight awaited! The most beautiful woman heíd ever seen lay before him! Gawain was astounded and asked what had happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her (when sheíd been a witch), half the time she would be her horrible, deformed self, and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self. Which would he want her to be during the day and which during the night? What a cruel question!

Gawain began to think of his predicament: During the day a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old spooky witch? Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman to enjoy many intimate moments? What would you do? What Gawain chose follows below.

Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her and had let her be in charge of her own life.

And that has made my day, green knight....
Funny to think that we think we invented women's rights - they were there all along... (supposing of course that this really is an old tale)...

[Bordertangoman]

part of Sir Gawain's story...
Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch put her worst manners on display. She ate with her hands, belched and farted, and made everyone uncomfortable. The wedding night approached: Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific night, entered the bedroom. What a sight awaited! The most beautiful woman heíd ever seen lay before him! Gawain was astounded and asked what had happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her (when sheíd been a witch), half the time she would be her horrible, deformed self, and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self. Which would he want her to be during the day and which during the night? What a cruel question!

Gawain began to think of his predicament: During the day a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old spooky witch? Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman to enjoy many intimate moments? What would you do? What Gawain chose follows below.

Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her and had let her be in charge of her own life.

And that has made my day, green knight....
Funny to think that we think we invented women's rights - they were there all along... (supposing of course that this really is an old tale)...

ITS CHIVALRY

[elisedance]

part of Sir Gawain's story...
Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch put her worst manners on display. She ate with her hands, belched and farted, and made everyone uncomfortable. The wedding night approached: Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific night, entered the bedroom. What a sight awaited! The most beautiful woman heíd ever seen lay before him! Gawain was astounded and asked what had happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her (when sheíd been a witch), half the time she would be her horrible, deformed self, and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self. Which would he want her to be during the day and which during the night? What a cruel question!

Gawain began to think of his predicament: During the day a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old spooky witch? Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman to enjoy many intimate moments? What would you do? What Gawain chose follows below.

Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her and had let her be in charge of her own life.

And that has made my day, green knight....
Funny to think that we think we invented women's rights - they were there all along... (supposing of course that this really is an old tale)...

ITS CHIVALRY

I don't see it that way.  Chivalry is patronizing, the man yeilds his power to the woman - but its still his power to yeild.  Its respect, the man cedes his power to the woman - thats quite a different world and what equal rights was all about.  And thats what was so wonderful about the above story.  He did not say he would adopt whatever choice she made (which means he would enact what her request was - chivalry) he said he would abide by her decision - so it was her power not his.

[Bordertangoman]

i think you're splitting hares..E-D

[elisedance]

...and I think you're a welsh border rarebit... but sowhat 

[Dora-Satya Veda]

We used to remind each other that we were on the same team and that the competion was just a test run of what we had practiced.

DSV