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Author Topic: Finding a dance partner  (Read 7721 times)
ttd
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Posts: 642


« Reply #60 on: July 24, 2014, 04:22:51 PM »

I'm not a marrying kind anymore.
How about a valet?  Cheesy
You know, I don't like where this is going. This is the kind of thing that perpetuates the idea that single people looking for dance partners look for something else, too.
I think that's silly.  Do you know how many women (as far as I am aware, it almost always that way round) have paid for successful eastern-European males to come to NA to be their partners?  Its very common and its a business deal that gets the man a visa while getting the female one a prime dance partner.  There are also umpteen cases of girls here where the parents pay the amateur partner a stipend plus all the teaching, clothes and entry costs.   By the way, the cases I know of are very carefully chaperoned and, if you know dancers, the serious ones will not jeopardize their partnership with possible complications resulting from personal interactions.
You're talking about people who have enough money to afford that sort of thing. I really don't care about them or what they do, I'm not in their financial league and never will be, and I'm not a young girl in need of a chaperone either, so that's a bad comparison. If we talk about normal people looking for dance partners, it's not that uncommon that singles really look for someone to dance and have a relationship with (stupid idea, imo, but it happens often enough). I recall posts on DF complaining about this, and I recall seeing partner ads worded so that it sounded as if the person was looking for companionship/relationship and wasn't a serious competitive dancer (maybe that was truth in advertising). This is why I think that suggesting that the best way for a competitive dancer to get a committed partner is to marry him, is counter-productive in a sense that it perpetuates the idea that partner dancing and relationship go together.
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elisedance
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« Reply #61 on: July 24, 2014, 05:05:28 PM »

This is an open forum TTD, we're not just talking about you we're talking about the 'general case' and for that all of the above apply.  Only you know what applies for you.

We're not advising to marry either just exploring the possibility that marriage may be a factor in getting a dance partner.  In my case it was not - my ex was an excellent dancer but hated to dance with me - but I have seen quite a lot of partnerships that work pretty well in marriage - at least the commitment factor is already there.

And if someone is looking for a life partner using dance as a bait - well, caveat emptor; its no different really than using a powerful job, a position in the arts, a fancy car or gads of money. 

The simple fact is that there are very few men out there looking for a serious dance partner.  It seems that in most places there are far more women.  The problem as I see it is that partnerdancing is intimate and requires a lot of honesty and give and take.  If there are only 2 men to chose from what are the odds that that honesty and give and take will happen?  Just about zilch unless one or other of the couple is willing to make a lot of sacrifices for the sake of the dance partnership.  And even so the chance that the partner will split once a slightly more able/attractive/rich you name it comes along is woefully high.

Its interesting to read what SG writes on AM partnerships in the active give and take topic (can't recall the exact name).  That in essence virtually all the couples he knows are both scanning for the next partner to 'move up to' all the time.
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