A couple are cheating on the advancement rules - what do you do?

[elisedance]

Good idea - I added that and changed the poll so you can change your mind.

OTOH I'm the only person who has voted

[samina]

mebbe ask the couple, honestly & authentically, how they think you should handle it... ask them also how they would handle it if the situation were reversed!

would be interesting. a candid discussion like that might deterioriate into nothing constructive, or... it might also be extremely constructive. best odds for having no hostility or resentment in your energy field, or you're sure to incite a firekeg of some sort.

[elisedance]

Perhaps Sam - but if someone is prepared to not adhere to the truth for something that really is trivial in comparison to the real pressures of life what chance do you think such a conversation would have a positive outcome?  Far more likely I think that they would get hostile or seek retribution.

[samina]

mebbe. i've encountered hositility in the weirdest instances, that's for sure. and i don't know the couple in question and how irascible they might be.

but i also wonder, if approached with an "i fully understand where you're coming from and might do the same if i were in your shoes, but...." approach, mebbe it would yield a paradigm shift for them.

or, perhaps i've just got my rose-colored glasses on.

[Rugby]

I don't think ee will get the response she wants.  Sometimes a couple just makes winning so important that nothing will stand in the way of it and they are not concerned about what they have to do to try and achieve it.  I would be very surprised if this couple has not already been approached and have refused to listen.  I guess it gets down to why we compete.

I know people where winning is everything because they have the need to feel special or better than everyone.  This could lead from an inferiority complex or just being a pompous jerk.  These people need to boast or show and tell everyone how well they did and if they can do it by cutting corners, abusing the system or having an ace up their sleeve all the better and who cares.  No matter what you say to these people your advice and comments will not be welcome, even if you mean well, because it is not what they want to hear or it doesn't suit their plans.

In the long run I suppose you have to think of what is the best for everyone in general.  What they are doing is not just effecting you but everyone in your category and the dance system in general.  They don't care about anyone else, just themselves so why should they get consideration back.  I can see going over once, maybe even twice but after that then enough is enough and it is a blatant disrespect for their fellow compeitiors and the people around them.  I feel the same way for the showoffs and self promoters that just have to be number one.  I also feel sorry for these couples because it really is a case of the Emperor's clothes and unknown to them everyone really sees them for what they are and they just congratulate and ew over them to be nice then roll their eyes or chuckle afterward.       

[phoenix13]

Just curious.  If the perceived cheating is reported, what is the typical response by the governing organization?  Investigation? sanctions?  What happens, and is the fallout, if there is any, really worth it?

[elisedance]

The person who complained often gets trashed.  Thats the general outcome because its not confidential to prevent malicious complaining.  However, if someone has truly violated the rules the privacy of the whistleblower should be respected.

As far as the couple goes it must vary by region - and, sadly, certainly by who they are.  For example the members of our dance organization were not allowed to dance in comps run by a particular interenational organziation.  However, when some of our pros competed in that comp they turned a blind eye.  Worse when one of the leaders of the organization was invited to judge at another one they accepted!  The outcome is that the weak are punished and the strong are ignored. If that happened in politics or in law there would be understandable outrage.

[phoenix13]

In that case, I would guess that there'd have to be a really egregious offense for it to be worth filing a formal complaint. *sigh*

[elisedance]

 I think there is some truth in the statement that they are only cheating themselves.  Whats the use of a trophy if none of your peers respect you?  Thats true in many walks of life - a hollow victory. 

[phoenix13]

I wonder if people who would cheat for a trophy see it that way. *sigh*

[elisedance]

I wonder if people who would cheat for a trophy see it that way. *sigh*

I don't think most do - some people are haunted by their misdeads but I'd guess most cheaters forget about the cheating themselves....

[phoenix13]

The capacity for rationalization is almost limitless.

[elisedance]

oooh yes - but I guess we all do it else we would be haunted by our own misdeeds all our lives...