dancers who aren't dancing

[dlgodud]

I think I improve a lot when I did not dance. Well, technically it was actually having a break from taking lessons.
The reason was because simply I was practicing myself a lot. Honestly I don't practice that much, which is shame.
But, when I did not take lessons, I really danced or practiced myself at home a lot.

[elisedance]

I had to stop dancing for many years as my marriage broke down and i had a lot of personal issues to deal with.  Work was full time and so was everything else - dance just could not get an edge in, in particular because the result of all the mayhem was changing jobs, cities, countries and all that that entailed.  It was an awful time but also a very life-reforming one - the closest I have been to the ancient chinese curse 'May you live in interesting times'.  But less than 2 years after this turmoil I found myself back on the dance floor starting from scratch - and I've never looked forward .  Even when things have been most taxing I've carried on dancing knowing that I get relaxation, excercise and also power from it for everything else I do. 

And how do the forums work for you EM - I could imagine two forces: one that they keep you connected and involved and the other, darker, one that you have to endure other's involvement and progress while you feel your loss.  I do hope that we feed more of the former and less the latter...

[samina]

I had to stop dancing for many years as my marriage broke down and i had a lot of personal issues to deal with.  Work was full time and so was everything else - dance just could not get an edge in, in particular because the result of all the mayhem was changing jobs, cities, countries and all that that entailed.  It was an awful time but also a very life-reforming one - the closest I have been to the ancient chinese curse 'May you live in interesting times'.  But less than 2 years after this turmoil I found myself back on the dance floor starting from scratch - and I've never looked forward .  Even when things have been most taxing I've carried on dancing knowing that I get relaxation, excercise and also power from it for everything else I do. 

Elise, how long had you been dancing prior to this break? I'm happy to hear you got back to it... and how, ay?
[/quote]

[elisedance]

I danced for about 5 years but mostly social stuff. 
Getting back?  I had a besoin and called a studio in toronto at random (I knew nothing about the dance scene at all).  Here you have to bring in the powers of the universe - the guy who picked up was an independent, a wonderful dancer and coach- and also had a degree in nuclear physics (so we connected intellectually too), who took me from walking to, well walking!!  Talk about lucking out I couldn't stay with him though as he was about 1 ft shorter and it was rather uncomfortable to dance with my butt sticking out...

[samina]

haha...I can understand that. Serendipitous connection, tho; very nice.

[PretzelsAndBeer]

Em, you and I have some parallels in our desires & experience... and I have many, many times been tempted to feel tragic about my own circumstances.

Funny, now that I think on it, you and I met on the evening of my last competition, which was a culmination point for me of having poured my heart & soul to get to a certain level and transcend some very powerful physicial limitations so that I could start to feel free on the dance floor. And at that last competition, two years ago at Yuletide over New Year's 2009, I was so fortunate to get to meet you and your lovely energy.

It was at that dance event that I felt I had arrived at a very exciting beginning point, that finally I could start to learn how to *dance* because something had just shifted for me. My body was beginning to change and allow more freedom of movement, and it was exquisite and so promising. One year earlier I had been a bronze-level dancer, but with Yuletide I was making my official segue into the Open arena, leaving syllabus behind. After I competed in my event ("down" an age level in the Open A scholarship), one of the judges who had seen me very often that past year as I competed in around 14 comps, came up to me and had the kindest things to say about my progress, that I had been competing against one of the best pro-am dancers at Yuletide and that he assured me I "belonged exactly where I was" as far as level. It was just so incredibly encouraging & validating, after such a struggle to evolve so quickly.

But then it all ended on that note. My last private lesson was *before* that comp. I'd been already unemployed for a few months and had used grocery money & god knows what other funds to make that comp possible, and I entered into a very challenging time, financially & otherwise. It seemed... and still seems... to have all passed away, to have been an era that is gone, and just as I was getting somewhere. I mean, I could take this seed of a story & run with it and give it a tragic spin with little effort.

But...the thing is... we dance how we live. And if we want to become better dancers, we have to become better live-ers... to be more alive, more free, more authentic, more heart-felt, with less in the way of our inner & outer beings. Even if one isn't able to cultivate the lifestyle that can lead to competition & accomplished performance ballroom, still one can grow as a dancer by training one's body & spirit, and making the inner shifts that change how we dance. And that... that has been & continues to be my focus. In that regard, the last two years have involved MONUMENTAL progress. If I did start with lessons, in-studio training, and competing again, I would *NOT* be the same dancer I was before, I would be much, much freer, because I've used this time to free myself as never before.

And... isn't that ultimately what we want when we dance... to feel free, to feel the beauty of life moving through us, to feel the veil that normally separates our physical experience and something more sublime become thin, even transparent, so that the soul and inner spirit can shine through with the radiance and magnetism that awes us when we watch the most accomplished dancers?

That's what dancers who aren't dancing can work on...until they can dance again.

Beautifully said.  I'm in a very similar situation.  My last lesson was almost exactly a year ago and my last comp was a few days later.  I was just starting to get good, or at least not embarrasing to my teacher.  It was the only time I did standard in a comp, just when I was beginning to feel standard was my true calling as a dancer.  Then I had to stop.  I miss it so much and think about it every day.

But you're right, the spirit of a dancer lives in us even when we're not dancing.

[elisedance]

Do you gravitate to Utube to watch dancing - or do you do the opposite, shy away to avoid being hurt?

[samina]

Em, you and I have some parallels in our desires & experience... and I have many, many times been tempted to feel tragic about my own circumstances.

Funny, now that I think on it, you and I met on the evening of my last competition, which was a culmination point for me of having poured my heart & soul to get to a certain level and transcend some very powerful physicial limitations so that I could start to feel free on the dance floor. And at that last competition, two years ago at Yuletide over New Year's 2009, I was so fortunate to get to meet you and your lovely energy.

It was at that dance event that I felt I had arrived at a very exciting beginning point, that finally I could start to learn how to *dance* because something had just shifted for me. My body was beginning to change and allow more freedom of movement, and it was exquisite and so promising. One year earlier I had been a bronze-level dancer, but with Yuletide I was making my official segue into the Open arena, leaving syllabus behind. After I competed in my event ("down" an age level in the Open A scholarship), one of the judges who had seen me very often that past year as I competed in around 14 comps, came up to me and had the kindest things to say about my progress, that I had been competing against one of the best pro-am dancers at Yuletide and that he assured me I "belonged exactly where I was" as far as level. It was just so incredibly encouraging & validating, after such a struggle to evolve so quickly.

But then it all ended on that note. My last private lesson was *before* that comp. I'd been already unemployed for a few months and had used grocery money & god knows what other funds to make that comp possible, and I entered into a very challenging time, financially & otherwise. It seemed... and still seems... to have all passed away, to have been an era that is gone, and just as I was getting somewhere. I mean, I could take this seed of a story & run with it and give it a tragic spin with little effort.

But...the thing is... we dance how we live. And if we want to become better dancers, we have to become better live-ers... to be more alive, more free, more authentic, more heart-felt, with less in the way of our inner & outer beings. Even if one isn't able to cultivate the lifestyle that can lead to competition & accomplished performance ballroom, still one can grow as a dancer by training one's body & spirit, and making the inner shifts that change how we dance. And that... that has been & continues to be my focus. In that regard, the last two years have involved MONUMENTAL progress. If I did start with lessons, in-studio training, and competing again, I would *NOT* be the same dancer I was before, I would be much, much freer, because I've used this time to free myself as never before.

And... isn't that ultimately what we want when we dance... to feel free, to feel the beauty of life moving through us, to feel the veil that normally separates our physical experience and something more sublime become thin, even transparent, so that the soul and inner spirit can shine through with the radiance and magnetism that awes us when we watch the most accomplished dancers?

That's what dancers who aren't dancing can work on...until they can dance again.

Beautifully said.  I'm in a very similar situation.  My last lesson was almost exactly a year ago and my last comp was a few days later.  I was just starting to get good, or at least not embarrasing to my teacher.  It was the only time I did standard in a comp, just when I was beginning to feel standard was my true calling as a dancer.  Then I had to stop.  I miss it so much and think about it every day.

But you're right, the spirit of a dancer lives in us even when we're not dancing.

Hey, P&B... good to see you here!

It sounds as if emmie, you, and I all hit our... "hiatus"... around the same time.

[chachacat]

Ah! A topic I can relate to!
My problem is overcoming depression and inertia. I want to go to dances, in fact, I'd like to teach again, but I need to get my stamina up.
I fell on the stairs in early December and hit my tailbone. I have been suffering ever since. I am getting better - only need pain pills at night now.
I went for a walk the other day and I was hurting that night. Just have to push through the pain of getting back in condition, I guess?

And that BIG step into the studio doors. There are really all kinds of issues. Afraid of judgement, weight gain, rusty dancing and balance, aging...
This is the crux of the issue, where I could use some help.
Thanks.

[QPO]

Ah! A topic I can relate to!
My problem is overcoming depression and inertia. I want to go to dances, in fact, I'd like to teach again, but I need to get my stamina up.
I fell on the stairs in early December and hit my tailbone. I have been suffering ever since. I am getting better - only need pain pills at night now.
I went for a walk the other day and I was hurting that night. Just have to push through the pain of getting back in condition, I guess?

And that BIG step into the studio doors. There are really all kinds of issues. Afraid of judgement, weight gain, rusty dancing and balance, aging...
This is the crux of the issue, where I could use some help.
Thanks.

Oh I can atest tomost of these things. with my kmnee surgery lst year I have had very infrequent times on the floor, balance has been a huge issue for me as well as when it does not work you feel so depressed thinking gosh willI ever get better. I make myself walk every day now and some days are better than others, in generally I am moving forward but there always seems to be setbacks. If they know you have an injury they should be sympathetic and show some understanding.
 
Remember if you fall off the horse or bike etc. you must get back on but only start again if you have had a doctors clearance you dont want to do any further damage.

[elisedance]

Ah! A topic I can relate to!
My problem is overcoming depression and inertia. I want to go to dances, in fact, I'd like to teach again, but I need to get my stamina up.
I fell on the stairs in early December and hit my tailbone. I have been suffering ever since. I am getting better - only need pain pills at night now.
I went for a walk the other day and I was hurting that night. Just have to push through the pain of getting back in condition, I guess?

And that BIG step into the studio doors. There are really all kinds of issues. Afraid of judgement, weight gain, rusty dancing and balance, aging...
This is the crux of the issue, where I could use some help.
Thanks.

Sound like you are your own worst enemy - which is the most common worst enemy of all.
What you have to do is focus on what you like.  Identify the things that you like to do and FORCE yourself to think about them.  What it feels like to dance, your favorite steps, music you love etc etc.  Its totally artificial, you just don't let yourself think negative thoughts.  If you keep this up for a couple of weeks - you will actually find that your attitude changes.

There is even brain science to support this now - the self critisism area is something you can let dominate you or you can decide to dominate it.  GO TO IT!!