partnerdanceonline.com
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
April 16, 2014, 11:54:24 PM

Login with username, password and session length
Search:     Advanced search
A lot of people are visiting Smiley Smiley
Undecided Undecided but not many are posting....
please say hi Cheesy
116183 Posts in 1853 Topics by 220 Members
Latest Member: elam63
* Home Help Search Calendar Login Register
+  partnerdanceonline.com
|-+  Partner Dancing
| |-+  Social dancin' (Moderators: QPO, Lioness, ZPomeroy)
| | |-+  Breaking into a new social dance "scene"
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic. « previous next »
Pages: 1 [2] Print
Author Topic: Breaking into a new social dance "scene"  (Read 3233 times)
Ginger
Bronze
*
Posts: 497

I see what you did there.


« Reply #15 on: June 04, 2009, 03:39:42 PM »

Nashville's hit and miss for us, honestly. Sometimes we walk in, and people know us, are all "Well, hey there, how are you," etc.... the next time, they look at us like we went through the wrong door and don't belong there, THEN gradually warm up.  I think it's because we're 'furriners', and they don't see us anywhere else except railbirding at a comp or at their social parties, so they don't know us.

Nashville's our escape. We can slip off down there, shop and eat how we want, go and dance with abandon since none of our coaches are leering at us from the side of the floor mentally cataloguing what to 'git us fer' during the next lesson, etc.

Nashville doesn't care that I toe-lead a pivot (sorry, Eddie), can't follow a hustle pattern (Sorry little Asian guy with the gorgeous tie), or that we do point-hustle to WCS music (although we do get the WTF look) or that we accidentally bump someone working on choreo (sorry Paige- please don't kill me with your death-ray glowerpower!!).

We love Nashville for our ability to just go dance and have fun, and watch everyone else doing the same. It's a refreshing venue that's always interesting, never negative, and the social awkwardness is just part and parcel of anywhere newcomers or out-of-towners would go. It's never ever made us feel inferior because we did or didn't do something.

And... it has a PF Chang's AND a Jack-in-the-Box close-by.

A lot of our social hang-ups are our conditioning. Our studio doesn't rotate partners in class or encourage dancing with one another outside of 'typical partnerships". It's perfectly okay for the older ladies to first decline a dance, then dance the same dance with the head instructor if he asks- that's a giant etiquette blunder and I know it. I know there's the good-natured collective groan when Danny Baye announces the foxtrot mixer at nine, but it's nothing like the whining, kicking, and screaming that ensues if our studio (rarely) has one. Once, when I was a lot heavier, I was the first to stand up- I ws going to walk and talk with the coach as we headed up to the "starting line"... the one guy who will literally shove people in front of him to avoid dancing with me goes "Gah, I *hate* this..."- it might not even have been directed at me, but the timing made it feel like it- that makes people reluctant to mix, because they never know if the other person is just doing it so they won't get scolded.

When we do classes, we say "If you would like to rotate partners you may, but nobody's going to make you do it- the more you dance with other people, the more comfortable the material will feel and the better you will lead/follow it. We have dance hosts available on the floor if you'd like to find one, or ask one of us." That way they don't feel forced into it, but they don't feel like they have to stand around- it basically puts the responsibility in their hands to make it what they will. We've provided options for them, and they can choose to take them or make new ones.
Logged
MusicChica
Intermediate Silver
*
Posts: 1325


« Reply #16 on: June 04, 2009, 04:14:02 PM »

(sorry Paige- please don't kill me with your death-ray glowerpower!!)

*trying really hard to hold back the grin/snicker...failing...OMG...*

I know there's the good-natured collective groan when Danny Baye announces the foxtrot mixer at nine

Consider me one of the groaners.  I HATE those things.  Always sit them out.
Logged
Ginger
Bronze
*
Posts: 497

I see what you did there.


« Reply #17 on: June 04, 2009, 04:35:17 PM »

Well, the boys always want to sit RIGHT up at the apex of the floor, where the mixer starts, and I'm scared of Connie, so that's how I started participating- now she just glares at the boys, not me.

So... how do I say this delicately... I'm not um... wrong... in my presumption that... er...

Well, put it this way- the VERY FIRST time we went to Nashvegas and got out on the floor, it was a cha-cha. Immediately, WHAM- from a CLEAR FLOOR here came this girl styling her ass off right INTO the side of us. She did it again. And again. AND AGAIN. Later on, when we brought friends,  she did it to my new boy, too, and almost had him peeing in his shoes. We've learned not to take it personally. We just can't possibly understand what it's like to be that unfathomably awesome and have these dance-mongrels totally hogging their twenty-foot kill-ring of choreographic awesomeness. The effort it requires to not smile or enjoy what you're doing... *sigh*... I mean, that floor is SO TINY you know...
Logged
MusicChica
Intermediate Silver
*
Posts: 1325


« Reply #18 on: June 04, 2009, 04:38:28 PM »

LOL...honey...believe me, I get it.  I used to take lessons with Jeremy.  I'm snickering because I agree with you!

And no need to be scared of Connie, she's one of the sweetest people on the face of the earth.

BTW, my pro will be there this weekend, even though I won't.
Logged
Ginger
Bronze
*
Posts: 497

I see what you did there.


« Reply #19 on: June 04, 2009, 05:34:32 PM »

Nah, I know Connie's a sweetie, I just think it's funny that the guys try to act invisible when it's mixer-time. Don't they know that just makes people want to drag them out there more?

Now I want to go to Nashville this weekend instead of seeing Terminator. We'll have to wait till next weekend though, so we can hopefully bring along a posse. That way I don't feel so bad when there are tons of plates scattered all over the table with fragments of chicken at Changs.
Logged
MusicChica
Intermediate Silver
*
Posts: 1325


« Reply #20 on: June 04, 2009, 07:31:02 PM »

Heading down to Huntsville to see cornutt again tomorrow night--breaking in attempt #2 ready to commence!
Logged
emeralddancer
Intermediate Gold
**
Posts: 2978

Nottingham, MD (by way of NJ)


« Reply #21 on: June 04, 2009, 07:57:28 PM »

Heading down to Huntsville to see cornutt again tomorrow night--breaking in attempt #2 ready to commence!

woot woot
Logged

It is more important who they are as people and only then is it important who they are as dancers.~Marcia Haydee
MusicChica
Intermediate Silver
*
Posts: 1325


« Reply #22 on: June 04, 2009, 08:08:33 PM »

P.S. Thank you to cornutt and everyone in their studio for making me feel so welcome when I really need to get away for the night.
Logged
elisedance
Administrator
Blackpool Finalist
*****
Posts: 34894


ee


« Reply #23 on: March 06, 2010, 08:36:13 AM »

Nashville's hit and miss for us, honestly. Sometimes we walk in, and people know us, are all "Well, hey there, how are you," etc.... the next time, they look at us like we went through the wrong door and don't belong there, THEN gradually warm up.  I think it's because we're 'furriners', and they don't see us anywhere else except railbirding at a comp or at their social parties, so they don't know us.

Nashville's our escape. We can slip off down there, shop and eat how we want, go and dance with abandon since none of our coaches are leering at us from the side of the floor mentally cataloguing what to 'git us fer' during the next lesson, etc.

Nashville doesn't care that I toe-lead a pivot (sorry, Eddie), can't follow a hustle pattern (Sorry little Asian guy with the gorgeous tie), or that we do point-hustle to WCS music (although we do get the WTF look) or that we accidentally bump someone working on choreo (sorry Paige- please don't kill me with your death-ray glowerpower!!).

We love Nashville for our ability to just go dance and have fun, and watch everyone else doing the same. It's a refreshing venue that's always interesting, never negative, and the social awkwardness is just part and parcel of anywhere newcomers or out-of-towners would go. It's never ever made us feel inferior because we did or didn't do something.

And... it has a PF Chang's AND a Jack-in-the-Box close-by.

A lot of our social hang-ups are our conditioning. Our studio doesn't rotate partners in class or encourage dancing with one another outside of 'typical partnerships". It's perfectly okay for the older ladies to first decline a dance, then dance the same dance with the head instructor if he asks- that's a giant etiquette blunder and I know it. I know there's the good-natured collective groan when Danny Baye announces the foxtrot mixer at nine, but it's nothing like the whining, kicking, and screaming that ensues if our studio (rarely) has one. Once, when I was a lot heavier, I was the first to stand up- I ws going to walk and talk with the coach as we headed up to the "starting line"... the one guy who will literally shove people in front of him to avoid dancing with me goes "Gah, I *hate* this..."- it might not even have been directed at me, but the timing made it feel like it- that makes people reluctant to mix, because they never know if the other person is just doing it so they won't get scolded.

When we do classes, we say "If you would like to rotate partners you may, but nobody's going to make you do it- the more you dance with other people, the more comfortable the material will feel and the better you will lead/follow it. We have dance hosts available on the floor if you'd like to find one, or ask one of us." That way they don't feel forced into it, but they don't feel like they have to stand around- it basically puts the responsibility in their hands to make it what they will. We've provided options for them, and they can choose to take them or make new ones.

so I wonder how it worked out for Ginger Undecided
Logged

If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
Graham
Intermediate Bronze

Posts: 38


« Reply #24 on: March 23, 2010, 09:00:16 AM »

We're all adults here (at least in age). I take the bull by the horns nowadays and promote social dancing, especially the social part.

What do you do to promote the social dance?

I have a very understanding wife who is a great partner for me and doesn't mind if I scoot around the tables, whoring dance with others (as long as it's not too much - say 30 - 40%).
My current arrangement with Westway (local Toronto dance hall) is that if singles come in, let them know that there is a social table available for them to join. We've picked up several waifs and strays that way. Also, if I see a couple having a good time on the floor, I make a point of going over to thank them for showing enjoyment (many people are so serious). That helps to break the ice.
Also others see me 'working the floor' and that makes me more approachable, again, several have joined the group that way.
One couple was looking for a practice venue a few months ago. A friend of a friend of a friend (literally) passed on their contact details and my wife and I met up and had a coffee with them. Changed our dance venue one night to make ourselves available (along with a few of our roving social group). Eventually they joined our table.

To summarise, work the scene long enough and hard enough (including using boards like this), you will develop your OWN social scene.

Recently I combined my enjoyment of photography and dancing to promote dance in the area. I volunteered to take photos of anyone who wanted, a posed dance pic. I have done this at three local (!) venues so far and have plans for more. I suggest that the venue offer the clients a free 4x6 print (cost under 20 cents per pic, that's 50 for C$10). Of course people have to come in for the picture, and return for the print. One unexpected benefit was that I know know many other people who I have never danced with before. The ice has been broken and now I can approach with more freedom and less stress.
Again, recent competition (Blue Silver comp - BTW Elise I have 60+ pics for you) I took lots of pics. Some of the people I know and it allows me the opportunity to approach as ask for a dance (Elise has never said no, thanks for that).

Some venues I have free access as I 'work the tables' promoting dance. It is venue specific, but some venues I rarely get turned down (and have to be careful not to upset people by NOT dancing with them), others it is harder work.
One of the ladies in the group has often make comment about not having enough people to dance with. Over the years she has attended many dances and eventually she has enough people in her own contacts, that 'my' Sunday group is often 'her' group.

Keep pounding away. Once you reach critical mass, it's a lot easier.

Graham
Promotes dance
(Come to Westway, Toronto, Sunday nights, I'll dance with you - promise (or you can out me on this board)
Logged
phoenix13
Gold
***
Posts: 3359



« Reply #25 on: May 28, 2013, 03:22:02 AM »

I have found that it is entirely dependent upon the venue and the crowd at said venue.  Like Elise, I have been to a lot of the Toronto and Southern Ontario-area venues and some are certainly more welcoming than others.  The main difference between myself and Elise is that I dont have a partner right now.  Im sure that probably changes things when it comes to a strangers willingness to ask me to dance.

In addition, I have been lucky enough to dance throughout New England and have found a wide range of experiences down that way.  I have had nights where I was able to work my way in and dance, yet I have been to other socials in the same area that have left me feeling completely useless as a dancer.

The people make the venue.

As for a process, I really dont have one.  I find people to introduce myself to when Im not dancing and, if Im out for a song and feel like dancing, I try to ask people who are sitting out as well.

This.  100%. The mix of people makes all the difference,  IMHO.
Logged

Dona nobis pacem.
elisedance
Administrator
Blackpool Finalist
*****
Posts: 34894


ee


« Reply #26 on: May 28, 2013, 05:30:06 AM »

You're almost back to the founding of PDO!
Logged

If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
phoenix13
Gold
***
Posts: 3359



« Reply #27 on: May 28, 2013, 06:18:24 AM »

Good topics are timeless!  Grin
Logged

Dona nobis pacem.
QPO
Moderator
Continental Champion
****
Posts: 20762


Adelaide South Australia


« Reply #28 on: May 28, 2013, 07:11:42 AM »

They certainly are. And my experience is that you move around till you find the group with like minded people.
Logged

Dance is a delicate balance between perfection and beauty.  ~Author Unknown
Dance Forum
phoenix13
Gold
***
Posts: 3359



« Reply #29 on: May 28, 2013, 07:22:29 AM »

Agreed.  I like to combine that with hanging around until I become a familiar face.
Logged

Dona nobis pacem.
Pages: 1 [2] Print 
« previous next »
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.11 | SMF © 2006-2008, Simple Machines LLC Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!