Time to quit pro-am

[dlgodud]

So when do you think it is the right moment to quit doing pro-am and find an am partner?
I feel like it's coming to me. 

[elisedance]

So when do you think it is the right moment to quit doing pro-am and find an am partner?
I feel like it's coming to me. 

That would sound like about it!  The thing about an AM partner is that it has so many more aspects to it - coordinating two lives so that you can run around a dance floor is a life in itself!

Perhaps you would find this more fulfilling - I surely have although you have to accept that the dancing will not be the same - in many ways it will be worse.  However, in some it becomes much  better because you get to know your partner so much more and you get to plot together

Of course, deciding on a new partner and actually finding one are rather different things.  If we don't already have one, we could certainly start a topic on 'finding an AM partner'.  Note, you can't put in 'ideal' because then you will never find one....

[ttd]

If you feel like it, then it's the right moment. Seriously, if you feel like you're not accomplishing what you want dancing pro-am, and think that you might be better off getting an am partner, go ahead and try it. You can always go back to pro-am if you decide that am-am is not working out.

I don't think there is one set of criteria for everyone. It's not like when you reach a certain skill level in your dancing, you should switch to am-am.

There might not even be available partners of comparable skill level where you live. I said this before, but in my community, I'd have to settle for a beginner guy if I wanted to do am-am. So, in this part of the world, someone wanting an am-am partnership to begin with is probably better off doing it from the start instead of waiting til they're really good. Otherwise there's an issue of closing up the skill gap before both parties can benefit from the partnership. Not to mention that searching for a partner in this situation is a bit like being overqualified for most job openings - nobody wants to hire you because they're afraid you'll quit the moment you find a better deal (and they're right).

[elisedance]

I've reached it.  I quit pro-am standard at least.  I'm not entirely sure why myself - it just seemed so pointless... I need something more substantive and more creative. 

Obviously I've got some thinking to do....

[Rugby]

What happened Elise?  Why did you decide to stop?  I noticed on Brian's page that you were at the Michigan comp and I was glad to hear that you were out and still at it.  

[Rugby]

Did you hear the Robinson's called it quits?  Blue/Silver was their last one.  I understand why but my DP and I will really miss them.  Good people.  We will still see them at Elite I'm sure at least.   

[elisedance]

What happened Elise?  Why did you decide to stop?  I noticed on Brian's page that you were at the Michigan comp and I was glad to hear that you were out and still at it. 

Its complex - I haven't figured it out myself yet.  We did one heat which went rather badly and then all the parts of pro-am that I don't like - the paying to dance, the fake competition, the cheating competitors, the whole 'money is waht drives it all' etc etc collided in my head and I realized I wasn't enjoying it at all - and it simply was not for me anymore.  If I am to dance its got to only be because the guy I am with wants to dance with me.  Stop.   

[elisedance]

Did you hear the Robinson's called it quits?  Blue/Silver was their last one.  I understand why but my DP and I will really miss them.  Good people.  We will still see them at Elite I'm sure at least.   

You mean David Reddin and Marie R?  I thought they might, they've worked so hard but have not seen much change in their scores.  Kind of like P and I.  Lovely dancers too...

[QPO]

Thats a shame but I do understand....lets hope you can find a partner to dance with...

[elisedance]

Thats a shame but I do understand....lets hope you can find a partner to dance with...

...the world turns again....

[Rugby]

 Pro/am has it's purpose and can be a good thing, especally if it keeps you in form or keeps you danicing, but mainly I see people getting taken.  Not all Pros are like this of course but sadly I think the genuine ones are in the minority, and the ones that truly like to dance with their students, even rarer still.  You don't want to feel the only reason they are even taking up hold with you is because they are getting paid.  It makes you feel llike you are only being put up with because you are going to give them money to do so.  I am not saying they should do it cheap or for free but there has to be some sense of at least having a good time when dancing with you and not looking at the watch and counting the minutes till your butt goes out the door and number two in line comes in.

[Rugby]

The judging has gotten bad in that nobody looks below the waist and if you have a stiff frame as long as it is locked into the ideal position you will probably win.  One of the judges told me that the judging has to get back on track and they have to start looking from the feet up, and for many even look at what is going on below the waist.  Dancers who are techniacally more proficient or who can actually lead are being maked down to dancers who are stiff and have a fake frame and the girl back leads the guy through everything.  Those that take the path of learning the art of dancing over the quick and easy fake route often become discouraged, as Dave and Marie did, and you and P, since they end up being overlooked for the Emperor's clothes dancers as I call them.  How can I tell people to not move up but wait and take the time to learn the art of dancing when they get beaten by people that just do their routine with no thought of learning to lead and follow and have no idea of body mechanics and two people becoming one when all they have to do is hold their bodies in what is pictured as the ideal look for the 90 seconds and they can win.

 

[elisedance]

My experience with all the pros I have danced with is that they really care and they also really want you to succeed - and they will work their hearts out for that.   I've been both lucky - and discriminating for obviously not all are that dedicated (but I happen to think they are in the minority; pro am is a heck of a commitment and that is a fliter for the neer-do-well).

I needed to make that entirely clear before continuing.  The real problem - and its the case for any dance-with-a-fee program - is that it contradicts the reason why I think most people partner dance.  At least for me the reason is that I have to be the motive, not the job.  The emotional aspect (which is mimimized in danceaport) is probably the one single reason that women get into dancing at all.  I want that feeling that I am special and that being taken care of on the dance floor.  I hate to sound prosaic, but its really about romance.  It takes a very very special guy to be able to show that kind of attention to a woman with whom he has no other relationship connection - and thats what pro am is, dance without romantic involvement.  Which (to me) is not really dance at all... 

Indeed, maybe thats why it is such fun to watch (at least some) pros and some am couples dance - they express their mutual affection - whereas, forgive me, it is so rare with pro-am, they dance together well, but you don't feel a connection, simply because its not there. 

[Rugby]

Totally understand.

[elisedance]

Had my first lesson after the comp - DC knew more than I've mentioned so its possible he is reading this   - which is fine of course.

Anyhow, we got back to dancing and learning - and I loved it.  He really is a terrific standard dancer.  To spice things up a bit (and to make me more of a dance product ) I decided to start doing latin again.  Considering I've hardly danced it for 5 years or more, rhumba went quite well.

The question now is what is the goal?  Well, for me the journey is  the end itself, at least for now.  I'm happy to study dancing even if there is no 'use' for it!  As far as I am concerned dance itself really IS the purpose.  And, on the good side, I'll be more than ready if some guy actually does becomes available.