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Author Topic: Tango Escape or Connection  (Read 1605 times)
Bordertangoman
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« on: April 17, 2009, 11:36:56 AM »

"While we are so busy taking care of tango matters, we turn our backs on its most compelling truth; a real tango is excruciatingly raw; it is so raw and exposed, it hurts. Since the early days of its origins, the most revered tango speaks to nothing more than expressing honest, raw, human emotion. It is this, it’s most natural quality that drew most of us to tango in the first place and yet we seem to be so scared of this, we fill our tango with all kinds of distractions. The truth is we all probably need to go to that place that is deep within us, that place that oozes release, exposing our many selves. Tango affords us safe haven, where it is ok to take emotional risks in the moment, for a moment. This is why the language of tango is so powerful and why we all keep coming back for more. Tango is healing and the need to heal belongs to all of us. "

http://tangothoughts.blogspot.com/ I have taken this quote as the starting point for some exploration. In the course of teaching tango and running milongas I have made several of friends, two of enemies but quite honestly the rest are a bunch of people who either are not particlulary good at tango and wont get off their doorstep to go to a milonga; or just chunter along with little progress in their dance ability.  I think this may reflect a local provincial attitude. So why bother. I'm not going to any longer. I dont think I'm appreciated here or respected. I get a warmer welcome when I dance further afield where i feel my dancing is appreciated - by people who are better dancers. So I am quitting teaching. the gap between my ability and that of my students is widening and I need to address my dancing journey.
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”We need a witness to our lives.  There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. "
captain jep
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Posts: 299



« Reply #1 on: April 17, 2009, 12:08:18 PM »

Big news. Maybe that will do you good - to take pressure off yourself and just enjoy the dance for what it is. I dont teach myself but I can imagine it could be a pretty quick way to stop enjoying your dancing! Especially if you're not teaching with a dance and/or life partner (I dont know if you do or not).

Im surprised actually that our paths havent crossed so far. The only person I know from around your way is Jack. He's in Devon all the time - no event would be complete without him! And believe me - you would be welcomed in Devon with open arms - so many excellent followers so little time...

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Do not go gently into that good night ...
SamsTheMan
pre-bronze

Posts: 15


« Reply #2 on: April 17, 2009, 05:25:26 PM »

"While we are so busy taking care of tango matters, we turn our backs on its most compelling truth; a real tango is excruciatingly raw; it is so raw and exposed, it hurts. Since the early days of its origins, the most revered tango speaks to nothing more than expressing honest, raw, human emotion. It is this, it’s most natural quality that drew most of us to tango in the first place and yet we seem to be so scared of this, we fill our tango with all kinds of distractions. The truth is we all probably need to go to that place that is deep within us, that place that oozes release, exposing our many selves. Tango affords us safe haven, where it is ok to take emotional risks in the moment, for a moment. This is why the language of tango is so powerful and why we all keep coming back for more. Tango is healing and the need to heal belongs to all of us. "

http://tangothoughts.blogspot.com/ I have taken this quote as the starting point for some exploration. In the course of teaching tango and running milongas I have made several of friends, two of enemies but quite honestly the rest are a bunch of people who either are not particlulary good at tango and wont get off their doorstep to go to a milonga; or just chunter along with little progress in their dance ability.  I think this may reflect a local provincial attitude. So why bother. I'm not going to any longer. I dont think I'm appreciated here or respected. I get a warmer welcome when I dance further afield where i feel my dancing is appreciated - by people who are better dancers. So I am quitting teaching. the gap between my ability and that of my students is widening and I need to address my dancing journey.

Wonderful!
« Last Edit: April 17, 2009, 05:29:56 PM by SamsTheMan » Logged
captain jep
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« Reply #3 on: April 17, 2009, 05:32:27 PM »

As long as you dont stop posting that is - heh!  Grin
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Do not go gently into that good night ...
SamsTheMan
pre-bronze

Posts: 15


« Reply #4 on: April 17, 2009, 05:36:43 PM »

Big news. Maybe that will do you good - to take pressure off yourself and just enjoy the dance for what it is. I dont teach myself but I can imagine it could be a pretty quick way to stop enjoying your dancing! Especially if you're not teaching with a dance and/or life partner (I dont know if you do or not).

I'm the opposite.  I get more of a buzz out of teaching than I do going to milongas.  I get a real high seeing the smiles on the faces of those who are listening hard and learning fast.  As one follower friend aptly put it when describing the general standard at a milonga:  "...beginners that have been dancing many years".  
« Last Edit: April 17, 2009, 05:40:02 PM by SamsTheMan » Logged
SamsTheMan
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Posts: 15


« Reply #5 on: April 17, 2009, 05:41:20 PM »

As long as you dont stop posting that is - heh!  Grin

 Wink
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Bordertangoman
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« Reply #6 on: April 19, 2009, 05:30:36 PM »

Well i attended a canjengue workshop today now that was fun; then had our milonga then spent the evening doing modern jive/ceroc with the odd bit of tango to slow numbers.
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”We need a witness to our lives.  There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. "
captain jep
Moderator
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Posts: 299



« Reply #7 on: April 19, 2009, 06:23:59 PM »

Heh did some canjengue on Saturday - forgotten how much fun it was....

Ive decided Im going to cut down the time I spend tango-ing this summer - need a bit of a break as well. Not that I'll stop completely (I need the hugs Wink. I just want to free up some mental space. The more I do it the more I find myself being obsessive about it.

Im sure I have some other hobbies! (Sam remind me what they are Wink  )
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Do not go gently into that good night ...
Bordertangoman
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Posts: 6088



« Reply #8 on: April 20, 2009, 08:59:05 AM »

Very wise; it is possble to go stale with tango and comng back afresh is often more rewarding and now there's sunshine to enjoy.
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”We need a witness to our lives.  There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. "
SamsTheMan
pre-bronze

Posts: 15


« Reply #9 on: April 20, 2009, 02:48:17 PM »


Im sure I have some other hobbies! (Sam remind me what they are Wink  )

Of course you do.  Hanging out with non-tango people is the reminder.  Grin
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TangoDancer
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« Reply #10 on: May 14, 2009, 01:07:55 AM »

BTM,

Once, when you thought that I was going to quit, you were quite concerned, and offered an ear. FWIW, I do not want to play semantic racquet ball, ut re your O.P., I do not believe that what you are describing is emotion at all, it is feeling. Emotion tends to cause us outward expression, whereas feeling is innate. Thsi is importnt because, you are correct, from the beginning we have danced tango in the attempt to reach and express that which is deepest within us, and to allow it exude and be shared.

I would hate to see you stop teaching for the same reasons that you gave me when I was wanting a break. Nothing wrong with taking a break, and certainly understand the angst of not being appreciated. Oh, how much I empathize with that one! Having just told a group of persons last weekend that I am quitting, I knew that what I meant was that I am quitting them...not quitting me. I will still find in the dance all that I know it can offer, and all that I know I wish to feel. nd, I will continue to share that, but in a place and manner, and with others who wish it.

I say all of this because someone said once that no man is an island...no man stands alone, and I know that we reach our fullest potential through how much that potential is projected through others. I you have the gift....teach, my friend. Do as I did; don't stop wanting to give... stop trying to give. The right students will come.
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The most beautiful part of the dance is often found in between the steps... and in the movement within the stillness.
Bordertangoman
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Posts: 6088



« Reply #11 on: May 14, 2009, 04:26:50 AM »

Dear TangoDancer

thank you for your kind words. aside from the patience required I have thought long and hard about it and I think I need to clear my head. I have learnt more about dancing tango than my students in the past six months, but it becomes harder to teach when people dont bother to practice between sessions and when most of the ladies want to dance with me then are disappointed if they feel they dont get their fair share. Thanks to the shenanigans of an intellectual oaf, i think I'm beter off going to milongas where the atmosphere is more tolerant of different styles of tango and the standard of dancing is better.And there are other things I would like to be doing with my time. The tango community that was building up has now been shattered because of two people who did things without any respect for others needs.

BTM
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”We need a witness to our lives.  There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. "
TangoDancer
Open Bronze
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Posts: 736



« Reply #12 on: May 15, 2009, 04:55:28 AM »

Have been there and understand well. PM coming.
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The most beautiful part of the dance is often found in between the steps... and in the movement within the stillness.
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