Approaching Your Partner With Internet Dance Advice

[Dora-Satya Veda]

Humans learn when there is a need for it or when they choose to learn.   I felt there was a great need to be heard and I came up with a solution that worked for my partner and me. 

[elisedance]

I use a more direct method - point my partner to the info and let him absorb it if he chooses...

[skipper]

Since I dance pro-am, I am always fearful of bringing ideas and questions to my teacher.  It works best for me if my coach brings it to the lesson.
The downside is that we only see her 3-4 times a year.

I enjoy PDO because there are so many body-school dancers here.

[elisedance]

Since I dance pro-am, I am always fearful of bringing ideas and questions to my teacher.  It works best for me if my coach brings it to the lesson.
The downside is that we only see her 3-4 times a year.

I enjoy PDO because there are so many body-school dancers here.

can you use the internet in reverse - to ask your questions?

[GreenEyes26]

The question I'm asking is if and how others are taking and sharing the advice obtained from this forum with their respective partners and even their professional coaches.  

A post by a member of PDO got me thinking about how I got started down my current very fruitful journey.  I first looked to the internet when I started to believe that there was a faster way, there was a better way, and there was more information out there than my current pro could possibly know.  At first, it was very hard to let my partner or my coach at the time know that I was obtaining advice from internet forums.  I had to be very tactful in how I presented the information I had learned.  I was a little ashamed of what I was doing because of the stigma attached at the time to obtaining dance information from an internet forum.  I can paraphrase what my coach at the time told me when he found out that I spent hours online trying to learn to dance: "stop searching for more information.  There is nothing more to learn than what I'm teaching you".  Even my partner would roll her eyes and zone out if I even hinted that I was trying out information I acquired online.  It was as if information obtained online was somehow invalid because it was free, and hence, wasn't worth trusting.

In my quest for knowledge on the internet I expanded my horizons more than I ever could've in person.  I met more people in the dance community and built a strong network of individuals spanning the globe which I never could've in person, at least, not with the limited resources available to me.  I also met my current coach through the internet who proved to be better than anyone I could've ever hoped to find in person.  In retrospect, my partner agrees that going online and being brave enough to stick with it despite all the objections and ridicule was the best thing I ever could've done for our partnership and our dancing.  Would love to hear how everyone else is using the information obtained online and if anyone else is running into the objections and ridicule that I did when I first started.  In my case, it was akin to online dating: people were doubtful at first but now it's perfectly commonplace and acceptable. 

Wow!Thanks Some guy! I really appreciate hearing from your experience

[GreenEyes26]

I have looked at this topic several times as I thought it was a great question. When I danced we didn’t have the internet (I know I am dating myself here but it is a fact). Because we didn’t have internet then I thought that I couldn’t relate at all.

I then thought back to when I danced and remembered a point that actually could be related to this. We were a group of about 6 people that would get together weekly and discuss dancing. It was almost like a think-tank. We would present our issues and then everybody would try to help work out the issues. There were times when I thought that there was some information that could help me improve my dancing. My partner didn’t like it when I would bring ideas to the table no matter where they came from. He felt I was too uneducated to bring anything to the table. I would therefore tell my dance father or mother that I had been thinking about something and if I could run it by them. They were always open to consider what I had to say. Many times the ideas that I brought up would come from these weekly get-togethers. It was actually quite often that the ideas that came from the weekly get-togethers would be implemented in our dancing. It would however always be presented to my partner by my teachers as something they thought we were ready to do.

I was very lucky to have very open and fair teachers. They were willing to hear and consider ideas no matter where they came from.

DSV

While the topic of this thread is on online forums, I really like this idea of an in-person dance “study group.” I find that a lot of connections are made between concepts when people are able to talk about them, either as experts or students. In my experience, small group discussions are places where much learning is done, and it’s so neat to see them in the dance world. Thanks for bringing this to the discussion, DSV.

[QPO]

This is a very tricky subject and I am lucky as my partner is a member of this forum ( not too active) so if I mention things he does not worry, but it must be difficult if they are not involved and wonder where you get that information from. But in the end if you can provide information that can improve your dancing I think it is worth it.

[elisedance]

I have looked at this topic several times as I thought it was a great question. When I danced we didn’t have the internet (I know I am dating myself here but it is a fact). Because we didn’t have internet then I thought that I couldn’t relate at all.

I then thought back to when I danced and remembered a point that actually could be related to this. We were a group of about 6 people that would get together weekly and discuss dancing. It was almost like a think-tank. We would present our issues and then everybody would try to help work out the issues. There were times when I thought that there was some information that could help me improve my dancing. My partner didn’t like it when I would bring ideas to the table no matter where they came from. He felt I was too uneducated to bring anything to the table. I would therefore tell my dance father or mother that I had been thinking about something and if I could run it by them. They were always open to consider what I had to say. Many times the ideas that I brought up would come from these weekly get-togethers. It was actually quite often that the ideas that came from the weekly get-togethers would be implemented in our dancing. It would however always be presented to my partner by my teachers as something they thought we were ready to do.

I was very lucky to have very open and fair teachers. They were willing to hear and consider ideas no matter where they came from.

DSV

While the topic of this thread is on online forums, I really like this idea of an in-person dance “study group.” I find that a lot of connections are made between concepts when people are able to talk about them, either as experts or students. In my experience, small group discussions are places where much learning is done, and it’s so neat to see them in the dance world. Thanks for bringing this to the discussion, DSV.

I think its worth a topic on its own.  Would you like to start one GE (everyone gets a moniker...)?

[phoenix13]

This is a great topic.  I'm not big on sharing  unsolicited advice with anyone about anything.  People don't receive it well.  What I have done in the past is tell people about a dance forum I was participating in and let them draw their own conclusions.  Of course, that got creepy (for me) because I am not always comfortable with full disclosure, and knowing that friends/teachers of mine were reading my  comments got ... myeh  I didn't like it.    I participate in online forums under a username because sometimes.I want to ask critical questions about people in my dance world.  That doesn't work well if they're in my online world as well.  Just sayin.

In terms of the more general question about feedback, I agree that broaching the subject with a neutral third party is a good approach.