How to keep a positive outlook when partnerless ?

[phoenix13]

In the couples I am thinking of, age wasn't an issue, even though disparity in experience levels was. But you are absolutely right.  Dance partnerships are just like any other kind of partnership -- business and marriage come to mind.  If you invest in a relationship with another person, you always take a risk.

It stinks.

[elisedance]

In the couples I am thinking of, age wasn't an issue, even though disparity in experience levels was. But you are absolutely right.  Dance partnerships are just like any other kind of partnership -- business and marriage come to mind.  If you invest in a relationship with another person, you always take a risk.

It stinks.

we sound like a couple of bitter old biddies

[phoenix13]

I dunno.  Observing that there's a risk involved is not the same thing as saying that risk will always turn out badly. My point is that risk is unavoidable in dance partnerships.  Some work out well.   One example is a former pro of mine who developed one of his students into a pro partner.  Worked out fine for them, once the scandal of teacher/student dating cleared.  

[elisedance]

I dunno.  Observing that there's a risk involved is not the same thing as saying that risk will always turn out badly. My point is that risk is unavoidable in dance partnerships.  Some work out well.   One example is a former pro of mine who developed one of his students into a pro partner.  Worked out fine for them, once the scandal of teacher/student dating cleared. 

do they still call her 'his student' (oops, beware - old peeves coming out)

[phoenix13]

Nope. She went from student to pro-am partner to pro partner.   

[elisedance]

Nope. She went from student to pro-am partner to pro partner.   

really??? I've never seen anyone else use that term.  Its something I've been trying to make a case for...

[phoenix13]

It was unusual to hear him say that,but he did. 

[elisedance]

I guess he got embarassed when they started planning for her 'transition'.  Which raises the question if she could be a pro-am partner why can't all championship AMs also be?

[phoenix13]

No. He was shameless.  Seriously shameless.  My take is that he had to differentiate her from the rest of his pro-am students.

[elisedance]

I bet there was a lot of jealousy goin' down there!

[phoenix13]

Among some,yes.  But that's what happens when you have a neurotic dance teacher on the loose.   That being said, his partnership worked out just fine for quite a while.   (i.e. until the romantic part of it failed.  The dance part was working quite well until then.)

And, in his defense,  there are some household name dance pros who are arguably just as neurotic if not more so.

My point is that, a lot of the time,people look for a partner who's just the right height, age, geography, style, level.  While that may be ideal, if it's not available, are there any parameters that are negotiable?  To me, that is the question.   Not for this thread perhaps, but the question.

[phoenix13]

And back on topic, what can people who've lost a partner (or never had one) do to stay positive while they look?

To be honest, I would say accept the possibility that you may never find a partner on your own terms and consider the alternatives (e.g. pro-am, if it's available.  Or other stuff you think up.)

God grant me the serenity ... etc.    The availability of someone else is out of your control.  Your preparedness for if/when they become available is the only thing that is yours to own.

[elisedance]

...take up the violin