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Author Topic: Pair or partners? How do you two measure up?  (Read 946 times)
elisedance
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ee


« on: June 22, 2010, 06:25:50 AM »

So you dance with someone regularly.  Very regularly to the point where you take lessons together and arrange to meet to practice or social dance.  But are you a partnership?

To me a partnership is much more than just two people who dance together it has the extra elements of first, a common dance goal (like competing) AND that you will support and help each other.  Even then there are transient partnerships, working partnerships and dedicated partnerships.  Which are you?

Time is the real test of a dance partnership.  Do you separate easily?  When alone how do you talk about your patner?  Critisism is normal but is it truly constructive or destructive? 

And being married is a factor - but its not as big as some might think.  At one time I was married to a dance partner but it was an awful partnership....
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Lioness
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« Reply #1 on: June 22, 2010, 08:48:08 AM »

Good topic, ee.

My partner and I are both dance partners and romantic partners, and it works well. We can seperate the dance and the romance when needed, and it's nice to have both ^^

If by separate easily you mean 'can't you stay just 5 minutes longer...?', then no, but that might be part of being young and stupid Tongue
When alone, I say that he is awesome. We work really nicely together, and I'm really tuned into his leads and the way he moves. This isn't necessarily a good thing, because I've gotten used to leads that other women can't follow. Female coach often says "I don't know how you followed that, but congrats". We get on very well as people, too. Plently of similarities, but also differences.
Criticism is welcomed on both parts, but we usually leave that for a voice of authority - our coaches or other, more advanced dancers.

I think we're a dedicated partnership even though, as far as I can tell, we have slightly different dance goals. He is more inclined to be a good social dancer (he still wants technique and all that, but would rather have fun at a social than stress at a comp). I'd like to be the best dancer I can be, whether through social or competition dancing. I'd love to compete at high levels, but love social dancing as well.
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QPO
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« Reply #2 on: June 22, 2010, 09:07:30 AM »

I have only had the experience of dancing with my partner in life. so I dont know what it is is like to have the other.  I am sure there are good and bad  bits in both options. but what I like is that the journey is a shared. I think it would be very hard to go home to someone else and say gosh we did well today P and I and your Life partner say oh thats nice honey happy for you and then goes back to the paper.

I have one friend who dances with a work colleague, her husband is a lovely man but has no desire in the dancing at all.

I would never say anything bad about my partner because it is unfair to think that they would be solely responsible for something that went wrong, and we are not playing for cattle stations…we are out to have fun.
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Lioness
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« Reply #3 on: June 22, 2010, 09:13:07 AM »

I think it would be very hard to go home to someone else and say gosh we did well today P and I and your Life partner say oh thats nice honey happy for you and then goes back to the paper.


Yeah...that would suck.

My ex-DP was also a boyfriend, but that didn't work out so well. He only really got into dancing for me, and disagreed with the coach's personality/teaching methods. He stopped dancing, and we continued our relationship for a couple more months. But then we had almost nothing in common - he's a computer/game geek, and good with sciences and stuff. He hates English. We still had the physical attraction, but there was not enough friendship for everything to last.
I don't think the dancing would have fixed that. We weren't partners enough that if he left dancing I would have no idea who to dance with.
With current DP, I think that if he stopped dancing I'd be a while getting back into the swing of things. There aren't that many teenage/young guys out there at the moment.

tl;dr...long story short, we weren't a very good partnership: It was based on obligation, not a mutual love of dance
« Last Edit: June 22, 2010, 09:22:17 AM by Lioness » Logged
elisedance
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« Reply #4 on: June 22, 2010, 09:22:37 AM »

...I think it would be very hard to go home to someone else and say gosh we did well today P and I and your Life partner say oh thats nice honey happy for you and then goes back to the paper.

You might think so - but its really no different from Ira and George Gershwin, simon and garfunkel, gilbert and sullivan, Lennon and McCartney, etc etc - partnerships dedicated towardsa achieving an art or goal.  In some ways its better since your goal is pure - there is none of the obligation that can exist in a relationship-based-dance partnership.  DP and I both want to dance as well as we can.  If either of us looses that urge we stop - this means that while we are continuing we are truly committed. 
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QPO
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« Reply #5 on: June 22, 2010, 09:36:25 AM »

well our partnership  is the same. If V were to stop dancing, I dont think I could or visa versa......I know how passionate we are about dancing and I cant expect the other person to stop that just because the other has.....

but what works or each partnership is good, if it gives you the results you want
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Rugby
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« Reply #6 on: June 22, 2010, 10:54:17 PM »

My DP and I have been together for about 10 years.  I remember a Pro couple up here once saying that if you can survive a dance realtionship together you can survive a marriage together.  My DP and I can drive each other insane but I believe you have to support and stick with each through thick and thin.  I will always be there for him in and outside of dancing and if I could no longer dance the first thing I would do is start to find the best partner I could for him.
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QPO
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« Reply #7 on: June 23, 2010, 05:45:40 AM »

I would do the same. and go be part of the practice sesions and help my local dancing community to flouish....
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elisedance
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« Reply #8 on: June 23, 2010, 05:47:20 AM »

Love your attitude R - and fully understand it.  Amazing what we go through for a dance partnership - and well worth it when it 'gels'.  Its actually kinda weird that you can get that close to someone without being married.

Which begs the question .... Grin
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

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elisedance
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« Reply #9 on: June 23, 2010, 05:47:55 AM »

I would do the same. and go be part of the practice sesions and help my local dancing community to flouish....
[sorry - but what has this to do with dance partnerships Q?]
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

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QPO
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« Reply #10 on: June 23, 2010, 08:45:58 AM »

I would do the same. and go be part of the practice sesions and help my local dancing community to flouish....
[sorry - but what has this to do with dance partnerships Q?]

that I would continue to encourage my partner to dance and stay engaged with the dancing community. If I could not dance I could just forgo the interest and then the partner feel under pressure to give it away, if I were being miserable.
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Rugby
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« Reply #11 on: June 23, 2010, 10:26:57 PM »

Yes, by staying involved it will make him feel that you are still iinvolved in the dancing and he would not feel so self-conscious about dancing with someone else. 
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Everyone tries to rush up through the syllabus levles and think once they are at the top they have arrived.  What they don't realize is that by doing this it is like skimming through a book, you may get the gist but you will never understand the story.
catsmeow
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« Reply #12 on: June 23, 2010, 10:33:05 PM »

I am finding that the audience and maybe the judges expect a couple to perform together especially if their dancing is enjoyable to watch.
 A change of partnership would have a completely different look , one that is unexpected and thus not as acceptable. For this reason alone I could  never dance competitively without the one I went to dance school with.
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elisedance
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« Reply #13 on: June 23, 2010, 10:40:58 PM »

I am finding that the audience and maybe the judges expect a couple to perform together especially if their dancing is enjoyable to watch.
 A change of partnership would have a completely different look , one that is unexpected and thus not as acceptable. For this reason alone I could  never dance competitively without the one I went to dance school with.
I think I understand Smiley
[Hey, R, it sounds good...] Grin
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Rugby
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« Reply #14 on: June 26, 2010, 11:27:02 PM »

That's the only reason?  Hmmm....  Huh
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Everyone tries to rush up through the syllabus levles and think once they are at the top they have arrived.  What they don't realize is that by doing this it is like skimming through a book, you may get the gist but you will never understand the story.
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