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Author Topic: Changing partner too often  (Read 877 times)
SwingWaltz
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« on: May 24, 2010, 05:02:28 AM »

Well besides the obvious of it takes time for a partnership to develop, to the oursider's point of view (ie. for judges), would there be any detrimental effect if a dancer changes partner too often? (ie. a different partner every year)

My partner is dying to compete in latin, which I am incapable of. I specilize in Ballroom and New Vogue, and she's really not a ballroom/new vogue person both self confessed and by other people's observation. There's a new guy (an acquaintance from comp) looking for a girl to specialize latin in, who I think will be for my DP. I don't know if I should let her know this availability.

Do I see our partnership go anywhere? The short answer, NO. 
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Lioness
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« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2010, 05:26:06 AM »

I guess from the outside, it could seem odd if you were doing it a lot. But, you know, you were with your old partner for quite a while, and you can always just say that things didn't work out so you both moved on. I think it's only a problem if it's compulsive partner swapping. Like, you do it every year for 10 years.
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QPO
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« Reply #2 on: May 24, 2010, 05:48:01 AM »

well I think this is a learning experience for you. that you must ask the right questions before you enter into a partnership. It is disappointing for you I am sure, but it is still up to you if you want to tell someone, but you have the right to be looking and trying out also.
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ZPomeroy
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« Reply #3 on: May 29, 2010, 12:58:12 AM »

I think you should let her know, you should have some sort of arrangement that when either you or your partner find a new partner then the partnership ends (i've used partner way to may times in that sentence Roll Eyes ). To tell you the truth i really don't think judges care too much, i mean with the amount of competitors there are it would be very hard to keep track of all the couple changes. The only problem i can see with changing often is the fact that you won't be able to build a rapport within the partnership and this will generally affect your learning and growing as a dancer.

Zac
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elisedance
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« Reply #4 on: May 29, 2010, 05:28:34 AM »

My partner is dying to compete in latin, which I am incapable of. I specilize in Ballroom and New Vogue, and she's really not a ballroom/new vogue person both self confessed and by other people's observation. There's a new guy (an acquaintance from comp) looking for a girl to specialize latin in, who I think will be for my DP. I don't know if I should let her know this availability.

IMO?  Absolutely.  If you care for this girl at all - and it seems you get on well despite the difference in goals - you should be looking out for her best interests, even when - indeed especially when - its not in yours.  Thats what being a friend is really about. 

Yes, you might loose this partner a bit earlier than you planned - or (out of gratitude) she might dance with both of you till you find someone new (I would hope so) - but the gain will be a person who will value you and trust you.  That is no small thing.

Think also on this: if another girl walked into the studio that was perfect for you now - would you change parnters or stick with yours till the end of hte year?  If you can honestly say the latter then sure, don't say anything, but if you can not you should do as above.
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elisedance
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« Reply #5 on: May 29, 2010, 05:30:58 AM »

I just realized I didn't address your actual question - which was not about your partner but about the perception that you change too often.  If you moved to a new partner suddenly and dumped this one people might talk.  If, however, it was mutual then there would be no stigma at all.  If, as suggested, you actually introduced your partner to her latin dream your status as a gentleman woudl (should?) be assured.
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skipper
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« Reply #6 on: May 30, 2010, 05:05:57 PM »

E IS RIGHT ON!!

Judges have too many things to think about--there is no time to "follow" everyone.
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Rugby
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« Reply #7 on: May 31, 2010, 02:07:00 PM »

Nothing at all to do with any of the above but rather on the subject of changing partners too often, one thing that I notice is that someone who flip flops back and forth or changes partners too often gets a bad reputation after awhile.  They are looked upon as untrustworthy and not committed to a partnership.  It will be said that yes this person is available but they will dump you when someone else comes along or, they don't care about your part in the partnership but rather what they get out of it.  I know of a few dancers up this way who were or are looking for a partner but when I have mentioned their name to a potential partner the potential partner will say only if I can't find anyone else because the reputation of the person as being difficult to get along with or having changed partners too often has given them a black mark on their credibility.
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QPO
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« Reply #8 on: June 01, 2010, 06:33:02 AM »

I agree, so that is why like SW they will see out the year, which is a good thing....my sister was like that with jobs...flip flopping to many in the end she had to stay somewhere she did not like to make sure she could get another job, because some employers were not wanting to employ her for the reason for changing jobs too often.
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SwingWaltz
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« Reply #9 on: June 01, 2010, 10:31:09 AM »

So how often do you think it too often?

I'm sitting at a different partner every year.  Undecided
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Rugby
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« Reply #10 on: June 01, 2010, 01:19:33 PM »

Sometimes circumstances cause you to have to change partners and people understand that.  Your'e situation SW is different then the ones I am thinking of.

I'm talking about the people that always find the grass greener on the other side.  Or, those that do go to the other side then jump back again assuming that the old partner will just be sitting around waiting for them with no hurt feelings.  They don't consider the other person's feeling at all.  Other ones switch partners because they are so full of themselves they think they deserve better or their partner finally has had enough of them.  Many men and women ask for me to keep an eye out to see if there is anyone available for them.  For the flip flop / grass is greener / self serving type the prospective people don't want to chance them because they know the person does not commit to a partnership and will dump them in a minute. For the difficult to get along with ones most don't want to have to deal with the drama these people create.  I know of three ladies at the Open level that can't understand why they have not been able to attract a partner since they all dance well and have look great.  How do I tell them that their poor attitude outweighs the benefits.  Nobody wants to be their next victim and guys have told me they will not consider them unless they become desperate, and even then probably not.  One has sat on the sidelines for three years and the others one and two.  So far, I can't find anyone even interested in trying them out.  As soon as I mention their name the men act like I am asking them to dance with a plague victim.  Perhaps in their mind they are about as bad.

There have been a few guys that have lost partners one after the other for one reason or another but they have been honourable about it and nobody thinks twice.  The partners want to do ten dance and they don't, they want to move up to the next level and the other was not wanting to, the partner moved, the partner found someone more suitable or what have you.  I suppose what I am warning people is watch what you do and the reputation you create for yourself.  Everyone loses partners or changes partners but it is the reason or how you do it that eventually follows you around.  The dance world is small.      
« Last Edit: June 01, 2010, 01:25:06 PM by Rugby » Logged

Everyone tries to rush up through the syllabus levles and think once they are at the top they have arrived.  What they don't realize is that by doing this it is like skimming through a book, you may get the gist but you will never understand the story.
elisedance
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« Reply #11 on: June 01, 2010, 01:46:18 PM »

Just like in the rest of your life - treat people with care and respect and little else matters.  However, if you fail to the most trivial thing will blow up as an issue.
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
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