Support, do you really need it? Then, from whom, what kind, and how it works?

[dlgodud]

I don't know this topic is really related to dancesport, but it seems that some dancers need support from their friends, family, teachers, and students, etc.etc.etc...... This also reminds me what I read in Ruud Vermeij's book. The audience of dancesport is different from ones in theatrical performances. It is rather consisted with family members, friends, and someone the dancer knows personally instead of random people who want to watch performances.

I remember one occasion is that one of my teachers looks for the support from his students for his dancing and competitions. Most of his students give him the support such as telling him that he is the best, an excellent teacher, and attending his shows and competitions. But, I am not one of them. I don't tell him he is the best, and don't go his shows and competitions.

After reading what Ruud stated in his book, I kind of understand what he needed and probably he has been danced in the supportive environment.

But, it interpreted his behavior as a lack of confidence because I am totally opposite and don't ask any support from anyone for what I do.

Do you really need support? If so, from whom and how it works?

[Some guy]

I used to.  Not any more.  I think it was one of those huge quantal shifts for me when I realized that I'm only dancing for myself, with myself, against myself.  Maybe it changes at the next level.  I dunno. 

[elisedance]

Great question.

I need less support than I used to - but not nearly as little as SG   I still need my partner to be happy with my dancing - and I certainly respond when people complement us.

[ttd]

I kinda like it when I receive it, and I give it freely to others (whether they ask it for it or not). I don't really need it, I suppose, but it really makes my day when random people at the competition tell me that they enjoyed watching me. Or when I am practicing and some random people at the gym come up to me and tell me how great I look.

[elisedance]

For me it makes an enormous difference when I'm competing and I see someone smiling and clapping to me.  The danger, however, is that I will start to 'over-dance'.

[skipper]

I need the quiet energy from my teacher. He has taught me new ways of behaving, like not getting involved in distractions and negative energy.
I also need to know my Mom is a call away---but don't usually use that option.

[standarddancer]

I would appreciate any kinds of support, from my teachers, parents/family members, dance or non-dancing friends, students, and audience support at a comp or show; and support from some members who had been close to me from this forum and another forum. Audience support really makes me feel good, especially at certain comps, I feel dancing bad and upset, but after comp, there were a few enthusiastic audiences came to me and complimented how much they loved our dancing, that really cheered me up and warmed my heart.

[elisedance]

same here - nothing like an audience member telling you how much they love your dancing.
well, I guess there is something - a judge or a champion, or a fellow dancer 

[Rugby]

This is a real touchy subject for me beilieve it or not.  I don't count on anyone.  Just a side effect of growing up trying to please a mother who was never satisfied with me no matter how much I accomplished or won.  It makes you feel like you will never be good enough and after awhile you just shut down and don't depend on anyone or even care to.  You look after yourself to save your feelings from being kicked into the ground and made to feel inadequate again and again.  For me I am more or less trying to prove to myself that I am okay at something.  I feel that if I look for support it leaves me open to hurt so better not to do it.  Even when people tell me I am good I have a hard time accepting it as true.  I know it sounds weird and hence the basis of my inferiority complex.

ee and I talked about people complimenting us awhile back and she had some good advice.  It doesn't matter if we think they are right or not, just that in their eyes they like and appreciate what we do and how well we do it and we should recognize that.  I can't say it matters if they tell me this or not, I actually get embarrassed, but now I am grateful that they appreciate the work I have put into my dancing.           

[Some guy]

That's a great way to look at it.

[dlgodud]

Nice post Rugby!! It's very touchy.

Well, I can tell now that getting some supports from audience during my competition would not hurt me.
It seems that it makes me less nervous. 

[cornutt]

Audience compliments are nice.  But I would still dance without them.  All that really matters to me is that my partner is happy, my instructor is happy, and that I'm happy with my effort and I've enjoyed the dancing.  In that respect, competition, exhibition, and social dancing are all similar for me.

Actually I often have to make an effort to remember to connect with the audience when I'm competing.  It's easy for me to fall into that zone where I'm not conscious of anything but the music, my partner, and floorcraft necessities.  I have to remind myself of the stagecraft aspects -- making eye contact with audience members, finding a group of people to do fancy stuff in front of, and so forth. 

[elisedance]

You sound very similar to my DP C.  Dances in his own world I think (if you let him)