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Author Topic: Changing Community Perceptions  (Read 4203 times)
samina
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« Reply #15 on: April 23, 2010, 06:27:10 PM »


My kid is going to dance whether he/she wants to or not...  Grin
i suspect you don't have kids as yet? here's one little tip to keep in mind when they do come along... whatever you most want them to be into, they are likely to give hardly a rat's patootie for it. and they'll be into what you perceive as its opposite. it's like a law of nature or something. plus a bit of cosmic humor, heh. Wink
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cornutt
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« Reply #16 on: April 23, 2010, 07:13:33 PM »

Well, sometimes guys just gotta do guy things.  That's why I recently spent an entire weekend hanging around a race track.   Cool  But yeah... some guy's bit about ballroom being perceived as a "old people's activity" was my perception when I was a teenager... I always pictured women in hoop skirts and men in monkey suits with bolo ties, dancing to Lawrence Welk.  This was during the '70s, which was pretty much the low point for ballroom/Latin/swing in the U.S.  So even though it was many years later when I finally started dancing, I still had to get past that perception at first.  

But like I've said here before: "Dancing with pretty women -- I don't have a problem with that!"   Cool
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QPO
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« Reply #17 on: April 23, 2010, 08:27:35 PM »

My kid is going to dance whether he/she wants to or not...  Grin

As a kid who's been there, with a parent who was insistent that I excel at his sport, I hope that comment was just slightly tongue-in-cheek. It sucks to be forced to do something because your parents love it. I spent a good 12 years of my life being forced into volleyball training, camps, and matches, and I hated every second of it. It wasn't my sport. It wasn't my passion. Sure, expose them to it, and if they love it, then go all out. But if they hate it, please don't make them keep doing it.

Just my $0.02

No one should be forced to do anything they dont like to do, but as parents I think we should not pass along our perceptions/prejudices of any sport.  Your parents because they loved the sport of volleyball  thought that you might but when they could see that you did not, then it would have been time to allow you do something else.

But my thing is that there are parents out there that wont even let their child try it even if they wanted to because  they dont perceive it to be a boy's sport!
« Last Edit: April 24, 2010, 03:30:38 AM by QPO » Logged

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QPO
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« Reply #18 on: April 23, 2010, 08:28:27 PM »

Your point is very very important - but I am pretty sure that IA was tongue in cheek when she wrote that Wink

Still maybe someone cruising through here will have cause to pause...

I think I agree with EE I dont think this was said with malice...
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Lioness
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« Reply #19 on: April 24, 2010, 02:18:36 AM »

That's cool. I just wanted to make sure. It's something I feel rather strongly about...it's contributed to the not-so-great relationship between my father and myself
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ttd
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« Reply #20 on: April 24, 2010, 02:10:17 PM »

I had a similar conversation with a personal trainer who had a toddler. He commented on how much his son liked to move to music. I said that he should try to introduce him to dancing. He said that even though his wife would love the idea because of her mexican heritage, he'd prefer his son to do something more athletic, like football.


which goes to prove the world is full of small minded twits.

sorry, but can't resist......
But you know, if you think about it, this guy is fairly stereotypical - grew up in a small midwestern town, did sports in school, was in the army, got some sort of physical ed background to do what he does, still does lots of outdoorsy activities - skiing, fishing, hunting etc. So his perceptions are probably stereotypical, too.
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samina
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« Reply #21 on: April 24, 2010, 02:43:49 PM »

if women expect competent dancing to be part of the courting process... and men discover the power and masculine attractiveness inherent in becoming a competent dancer... men will change their associations pretty quickly and flock to lessons, and dance will lose its negative stigma it has amonst some communities for being lacking in machismo. (what utter rubbish, lolz)

that may be the most potent sequence we could follow...  Cool Cheesy
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ttd
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« Reply #22 on: April 24, 2010, 07:35:55 PM »

if women expect competent dancing to be part of the courting process... and men discover the power and masculine attractiveness inherent in becoming a competent dancer... men will change their associations pretty quickly and flock to lessons, and dance will lose its negative stigma it has amonst some communities for being lacking in machismo. (what utter rubbish, lolz)

that may be the most potent sequence we could follow...  Cool Cheesy

In this case women need to become competent dancers themselves. Although, a lot of girls have some sort of non-partner dance exposure already (ballet, tap, and similar) while boys mostly don't. Both things are a result of parental decisions, though.
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QPO
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« Reply #23 on: April 25, 2010, 04:10:25 AM »

if women expect competent dancing to be part of the courting process... and men discover the power and masculine attractiveness inherent in becoming a competent dancer... men will change their associations pretty quickly and flock to lessons, and dance will lose its negative stigma it has amonst some communities for being lacking in machismo. (what utter rubbish, lolz)

that may be the most potent sequence we could follow...  Cool Cheesy

In this case women need to become competent dancers themselves. Although, a lot of girls have some sort of non-partner dance exposure already (ballet, tap, and similar) while boys mostly don't. Both things are a result of parental decisions, though.

I believe the later to be true. I took my son to dance classes, jazz, ballet and tap and he loved it. I wished he continued but I allowed him to choose his sport. I just did not know where to go to find ballroom lessons at the time..I should have looked harder!
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samina
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« Reply #24 on: April 25, 2010, 12:35:24 PM »

Both things are a result of parental decisions, though.
personally, i don't think this will change at the level of parents imposing lessons on children. it will change as a result of adults making different choices themselves, which will cause them to model different behavior to their children. the desire for lessons, amongst both children & adults, will then emerge out of that cultural change.

if bobby sees his dad shining in his masculinity while squiring his mum, and his mum adoring how he's able to make her feel when they're dancing, and how all of mummy's friends are envious and seeking out men with similar traits... then bobby's more inclined to value dance in his own life. Smiley
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QPO
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« Reply #25 on: April 25, 2010, 08:44:12 PM »

Yes I agree, as well as that it is also society that has to value these things. Here what is valued is Football, Cricket, dancing hardly rates a mention except when shows like DWTS are on, and then the comment is  "Oh you ballroom dance" I would love to do that but I have two left feet, or my partner has two left feet and wont do it.

If they are start young they can also learn that love, they may go away for awhile but  they will come back.
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samina
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« Reply #26 on: April 28, 2010, 10:35:18 AM »

exactly. and it's all quite relative... there are communities where men-as-dancers are highly valued. in northern india, for example... and the phillipines... latin american countries... certainly in africa, and in french polynesia.
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Derekweb
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« Reply #27 on: April 28, 2010, 11:28:41 AM »

Although I think that DWTS with macho pros has made a minor dent, you ladies will probably never really understand the playground grief a young boy in the US would suffer from his friends who found out that he was dancing!
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QPO
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« Reply #28 on: April 29, 2010, 02:54:34 AM »

Although I think that DWTS with macho pros has made a minor dent, you ladies will probably never really understand the playground grief a young boy in the US would suffer from his friends who found out that he was dancing!

I can only imagine... I know of one young boy who has told his friends he has given up  Roll Eyes so they can't give him stick
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ZPomeroy
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« Reply #29 on: April 29, 2010, 08:10:15 AM »

Although I think that DWTS with macho pros has made a minor dent, you ladies will probably never really understand the playground grief a young boy in the US would suffer from his friends who found out that he was dancing!

Have never had that problem, my friends were always quite supporting once they found out the amount of girls i dance with Grin but seriously have never had a problem, only the little joke here and there, but its all in good fun, i give it back just as good Roll Eyes

Zac
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