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Author Topic: Arguing  (Read 4983 times)
Rugby
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« Reply #15 on: April 09, 2010, 01:19:40 PM »
Exactly.

Hmmmm. I wonder if Spock would have been a good dancer.
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You have to fight through a lot of crap before you find your way up out of the toilet. Sometimes I think I have a good hold on the rim then I slip back in.  Each time I don't sink quite as deep though. - Rugby
elisedance
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« Reply #16 on: April 09, 2010, 02:04:16 PM »
Quote from: Rugby on April 09, 2010, 01:19:40 PM
Exactly.

Hmmmm. I wonder if Spock would have been a good dancer.

undoubtedly.  perfect leads and always reading your mind. OTOH would you enjoy dancing with him?

OTOOH his sister would definitely qualify as the perfect follow Shocked
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

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QPO
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« Reply #17 on: April 10, 2010, 03:49:16 AM »
can you truly listen if someone is arguing? I would say not...so in the end it has no benefit. to discuss  rationally your concerns,desires is a much better option and in the end people will respect your approach even if it is not the words they want to hear, but honesty is the best policy...it is all in the delivery.
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Dance is a delicate balance between perfection and beauty.  ~Author Unknown
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TangoDancer
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« Reply #18 on: April 13, 2010, 04:55:21 AM »
Thought about this thread today as a couple began to argue, of course, over what I had/had not said.... yes, w/ me standing right there. After a stop and go 5-6 mins of this, I asked (though, I knew) exactly what they were arguing about. Naturally, it was a pattern. I explained that the pattern was composed of steps, leads, follows, techniques, CBM and the resulting sways, follow-through, and recovery. Then, I asked again which one of those things were they arguing about... which one of those things did each one believe the other to be doing incorrectly. Of course, the replies from both were, "I don't know. It just doesn't feel right". To which I asked, "Then why are you arguing about something that you don't have a clue what the answer is?"

The moral... I have said often that I will debate an issue, but I will never argue a point.
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The most beautiful part of the dance is often found in between the steps... and in the movement within the stillness.
QPO
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« Reply #19 on: April 13, 2010, 05:51:08 AM »
interesting that people are prepared to argue over a feeling. Roll Eyes. having said that there are time when I will do a step or a sequence and say it did not feel right but I don't accuse my partner it could be me. Tongue
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Lioness
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« Reply #20 on: April 13, 2010, 08:59:14 AM »
TD: I think it's a "it didn't feel right. One of us must be doing something wrong. Was it you???" sort of argument. It may also be a "what the hell just happened?". I admit to having "WTH just happened" frustrations quite often, and most of the time it is my fault. We come off the floor, talk through what each of us were doing, and why it didn't feel right. It works most of the time...the rest of the time we just leave it be
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elisedance
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« Reply #21 on: April 13, 2010, 09:03:08 AM »
[please also take a look at the new topic that takes a positive spin no this general issue with the intent of discussing what works rather than what does not:
http://partnerdanceonline.com/index.php?topic=1429.new#new]
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
TangoDancer
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« Reply #22 on: April 14, 2010, 12:34:15 AM »
Quote from: QPO on April 13, 2010, 05:51:08 AM
interesting that people are prepared to argue over a feeling. Roll Eyes. having said that there are time when I will do a step or a sequence and say it did not feel right but I don't accuse my partner it could be me. Tongue

Quote from: Lioness on April 13, 2010, 08:59:14 AM
TD: I think it's a "it didn't feel right. One of us must be doing something wrong. Was it you???" sort of argument. It may also be a "what the hell just happened?". I admit to having "WTH just happened" frustrations quite often, and most of the time it is my fault. We come off the floor, talk through what each of us were doing, and why it didn't feel right. It works most of the time...the rest of the time we just leave it be

I believe that both of these posts should be in the sister thread. These are positive approaches to a usually negative situation. Bravo to you. both.
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The most beautiful part of the dance is often found in between the steps... and in the movement within the stillness.
QPO
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« Reply #23 on: April 14, 2010, 06:26:24 AM »
to any other approach would mean I would be partner-less in no time Roll Eyes on both sides.
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Bordertangoman
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« Reply #24 on: April 14, 2010, 07:42:27 AM »
Quote from: Rugby on April 09, 2010, 01:19:40 PM
Exactly.

Hmmmm. I wonder if Spock would have been a good dancer.

this might answer your question in part..... Grin

http://www.learningtango.com/Humour/VoyagerGuideToTango.html
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catsmeow
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« Reply #25 on: April 14, 2010, 09:16:43 PM »
Contrary to what most are willing to admit here regarding arguing, I have to admit I am very guilty of blaming my partner over what didnt feel right. I add fuel to the fire by telling her she thinks too much about the sequences. Just once I would like to hear back what my dancing feels like instead of what she thinks it should be.
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SwingWaltz
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« Reply #26 on: April 14, 2010, 10:07:26 PM »
I think I'm just used to taking full responsibility for any thing dance wise. Was dancing the reverse wave yesterday and DP stepped on my foot, immediately I said "sorry for not moving my feet out of the way fast enough". Coach claimed that she's taught me well! LOL

Certainly saves me a lot of argument.  Roll Eyes
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catsmeow
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« Reply #27 on: April 14, 2010, 10:09:21 PM »
I need to move more in your direction of thought SW.  Thanks for the tip
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SwingWaltz
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« Reply #28 on: April 14, 2010, 10:13:57 PM »
Just think of it this way, if your partner does something right, we can claim credit too!  Tongue
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elisedance
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« Reply #29 on: April 14, 2010, 10:21:26 PM »
Quote from: SwingWaltz on April 14, 2010, 10:13:57 PM
Just think of it this way, if your partner does something right, we can claim credit too!  Tongue
works for me Wink
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
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