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Author Topic: Arguing  (Read 7120 times)
elisedance
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« Reply #105 on: June 21, 2010, 10:47:04 AM »

Actually, I've noticed that we (DP and I) are arguing a lot less - after 3 yrs or so we seem to be becomeing a team... this may need a topic...
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QPO
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« Reply #106 on: June 22, 2010, 06:12:44 AM »

Actually, I've noticed that we (DP and I) are arguing a lot less - after 3 yrs or so we seem to be becomeing a team... this may need a topic...

well that is a good thing as I am sure arguing never fixes the problem in the first place,so if yo9u can move on from that it has to be a big plus!
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Rugby
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« Reply #107 on: July 01, 2010, 01:25:56 AM »

Actually, I've noticed that we (DP and I) are arguing a lot less - after 3 yrs or so we seem to be becomeing a team... this may need a topic...

I can't believe you two have been together for three yers now.  Wow, time flies. 
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Everyone tries to rush up through the syllabus levles and think once they are at the top they have arrived.  What they don't realize is that by doing this it is like skimming through a book, you may get the gist but you will never understand the story.
elisedance
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« Reply #108 on: July 01, 2010, 06:12:29 AM »

Perhaps most amazing is that I havn't killed him Cheesy  Funny thing is though is that I kinda like that sort of bone headed single minded guy Grin
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
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« Reply #109 on: December 18, 2010, 08:50:00 PM »

I have some friends where one side is constant telling the partner how terrible they are dancing and the consequnces to her dancing....people are finding it very difficult to be there when they train, I wish he 2would argue with her to put her back in her box!.

Off the floor they are lovely to speak with... Shocked
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elisedance
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« Reply #110 on: December 20, 2010, 03:30:47 PM »

We all have to learn that the only mistakes we can be sure of - are our own.  thats what coaches are for.  Hence:

"I am having a hard time dancing this step..."

not
"I can't dance this step because my partner gets in the way.."

When they hear the latter good coaches immediately try to fix the complainer.  Its the only way, else the conscequences after the lesson are dire: "see if you only listened to me in the first place we could have saved half a lesson..." etc Shocked
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
cornutt
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« Reply #111 on: December 20, 2010, 09:11:11 PM »

Yep.  I try to phrase it something like this: "I am having a hard time communicating what I need you to do here... what does it feel like to you?"  "Well, it feels like you are leading me to go here."  Sometimes, as soon as she says that, I know right away what the problem is and how to fix it.  Other times, I have to plead ignorance and ask for the instructor's help. 
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Rugby
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« Reply #112 on: December 20, 2010, 09:27:03 PM »

We usually don't feel our own mistakes until they are pointed out as we are used to how we move or are somewhat comfortable with how we do it.  If the moves does not feel right or off then it must be our partner that is the problem because we are obviously okay.  Our partner is comfortable with theirselves so when something is funky it must be us.  We don't always feel our imbalances or incorrect way of going but our partner usually feels it.  Instead of blaming each other or letting our egos create a fight, if we can just listen to each other instead and put pride aside, this can be a useful too to help each other which then helps ourselves.     
 
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Everyone tries to rush up through the syllabus levles and think once they are at the top they have arrived.  What they don't realize is that by doing this it is like skimming through a book, you may get the gist but you will never understand the story.
QPO
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« Reply #113 on: December 21, 2010, 03:18:27 AM »

Noone likes to be told by anyone in a negative way what they might be doing worng....It is all in the delivery....you just know sometimes that something does not feel right but dont know how to fix it....and arguing is not going to fix it. Roll Eyes
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elisedance
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« Reply #114 on: December 21, 2010, 05:05:39 AM »

Great if you can keep that up Q - but sometimes one or other partner is just convinced that its not them.  Both DP and I have our moments there but we are so much better than we used to be.  Some spats are inevitable in all relationships, the important thing is that you don't go personal with it and that you can agree to differ until expert help is at hand.
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
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« Reply #115 on: December 21, 2010, 07:21:12 AM »

I  know... I dont argue, well I dont start them....it is not my style but I cerntainly managed to get enbroiled in them Roll Eyes
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elisedance
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« Reply #116 on: December 21, 2010, 07:50:10 AM »

Some people can't live without arguing.  My dad was a bit that way... Undecided  I had to learn that one could live without it (which I now do; I certainly dispute but I avoid arguing - it brings out my worst... )
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
QPO
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« Reply #117 on: December 23, 2010, 09:31:36 PM »

I find it very draining and dont like to walk on the dark side. but I did have a friendf that would love to pick a fight with her husband all the time... Roll Eyes she was always pleasant to us
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elisedance
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« Reply #118 on: December 24, 2010, 03:21:10 AM »

And who is he married to now?  Roll Eyes Tongue
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
QPO
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Posts: 20807


Adelaide South Australia


« Reply #119 on: December 24, 2010, 09:31:26 PM »

And who is he married to now?  Roll Eyes Tongue

yes I believe they are.... Cool
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Dance is a delicate balance between perfection and beauty.  ~Author Unknown
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