'Life's like that'...

[elisedance]

This is just for the non-dance life stories that catch your attention - funny, poignant, inspiring whatever.

[The title is from 'Readers Digest' a monthly book-like magazine that used to have postiive-spirit articles in it and had a couple of pages of letters with people's life stories on]

So this is for real.

Yesterday I went to my usual spot for breakfast and as I approache the door noticed that the small glass panel next to the handle had been smashed and replaced with a piece of cardboard - obviously someone had tried to break in.  They did actually get in even though the door could not be opened from the inside, they simply smashed the larger (18"x6ft) glass panel to the left of the door, which was now also replaced by cardboard].  H was seving (I know the staff very well) and told me it had been a total mess inside.  While eating breakfast the glass guy came, replaced the small panel in a few minutes and started on the large one [this meant removing the cardboard and clearing out all the broken glass before putting in the replacement - I did not mention that it was -12C outside so at this point everyone on my side of the restaurant (except me of course) moved to the other, slightly warmer side.  They thought I was really tough but actually there is a reason for my daily seat - its ontop of the room heater .  But I digress...].

So finally I got to ask H what the damage was.  Well it turned out the thief went through everything - but oddly he left all the food and he did not even touch the opened and full bottles of liquor on the shelf behind the bar.  Not a single one.  What he took was the empty bottles from the bin - so that he could take them back for thier $0.15 return value.

Very likely, he then took the few dollars earned to the liquor shop and bought a beer....

[ZPomeroy]

This one didn't take off too well Thought i might give it a bump

Zac

[elisedance]

some topics may be better left sleeping

but I thought it was a good story...

[elisedance]

Reminds me of the burglar who broke into the corner shop in England (that would be a newsagent) and stole a bunch of pens.  Before he took them though he tried them out -on a pad of paper - writing his name of course...

[Bordertangoman]

Reminds me of the burglar who broke into the corner shop in England (that would be a newsagent) and stole a bunch of pens.  Before he took them though he tried them out -on a pad of paper - writing his name of course...

hmm I'm feeling like an English teacher today..

England has quite a few corners with shops on them....

[elisedance]

So get to work - and the door to the hospitla is roped off (we have the G20 here starting tomorrow and, apparently, there is a demonstration nearby).  Security tells me to swipe my ID card to get in.  I do - but it does not work.  SO he gets the next guy behind me.  His doesn't work either.  So he tries his own.  That doesn't work. NExt he bangs on the door to get the attention of his security backup.  He comes, open's the door - the employees walk in, the security guards look at the machine while the door closes behind us.  They swipe the other guys card.  Yup.  Keystone cops - they've locked themselves out.  Much to the amusement of all of us who sneaked in illegally....

[elisedance]

And no, no one offered to let them back in either.  Twas too funny.

[Some guy]

Wow!  They made it so secure that even security couldn't get in!

[elisedance]

Wish that made me feel safe

[elisedance]

Went to a 'wimpies' diner.  Ordered breakfast (eggs toast etc) with 2 sausages - and was billed nearly $10.  I asked for the menu - they had a breakfast special with the same stuff for 3.99.

So why the $10?  Because (and this is real), the breakfast special comes with 3 sausages and mine was a 'custom breakfast'.

I repeat, I am not making this up.

So I asked for a sausage, an uncooked one.  I explained that that would make it a breakfast special (barely containing my inner explosions)...
They gave me a new bill (but I never did get the third sausage...).

[Some guy]

That was awesome!  Quick thinking on your part!

Last weekend we were in New Orleans.  My wife, a friend of ours and I were hungry.  My wife isn't too crazy about food, but my friend and I had a craving for something local.  My wife was sure that any restaurant we picked could easily whip up some rice and veggies for her.  We picked one of the more famous restaurants to go to.  My friend ordered the crawfish etoufee and I ordered the jambalaya that had shrimp, sausage, and a little crawfish.  My wife didn't notice any appealing vegetarian options on the menu so she asked them if they could just whip up some pasta and veggies for her.  Cost of the most delicious and gigantic portion of crawfish etouffee packed with tons of crawfish = $14.  Cost of gigantic portion of jambalaya packed with shrimp and sausage (and a little crawfish) = $13.  Cost of boiled pasta and veggies = $18 (!!!). 

[Some guy]

Noticed a big banner outside Burger King which was advertising their new super duper heat-attack special burger for $3.99.  It didn't look too different from their other burgers.  Since we were on a road trip and our meal options were limited, we went in and I asked the lady at the counter, "what's so special about *that* burger?".  She looked at the banner I was pointing at and said with a tone of disbelief: "just the sandwich costs $3.99!". 

[elisedance]

That was awesome!  Quick thinking on your part!

Last weekend we were in New Orleans.  My wife, a friend of ours and I were hungry.  My wife isn't too crazy about food, but my friend and I had a craving for something local.  My wife was sure that any restaurant we picked could easily whip up some rice and veggies for her.  We picked one of the more famous restaurants to go to.  My friend ordered the crawfish etoufee and I ordered the jambalaya that had shrimp, sausage, and a little crawfish.  My wife didn't notice any appealing vegetarian options on the menu so she asked them if they could just whip up some pasta and veggies for her.  Cost of the most delicious and gigantic portion of crawfish etouffee packed with tons of crawfish = $14.  Cost of gigantic portion of jambalaya packed with shrimp and sausage (and a little crawfish) = $13.  Cost of boiled pasta and veggies = $18 (!!!). 

- but at a retaurant like that they probably had to sneak into the neighbours yard and steal some veggies - the extra $12 was for their bail fund...

[elisedance]

Noticed a big banner outside Burger King which was advertising their new super duper heat-attack special burger for $3.99.  It didn't look too different from their other burgers.  Since we were on a road trip and our meal options were limited, we went in and I asked the lady at the counter, "what's so special about *that* burger?".  She looked at the banner I was pointing at and said with a tone of disbelief: "just the sandwich costs $3.99!". 

Oh... (thinks) .... - .... thats the same price as the breakfast special?
I wonder how many sausages it comes with...

[samina]

Went to a 'wimpies' diner.  Ordered breakfast (eggs toast etc) with 2 sausages - and was billed nearly $10.  I asked for the menu - they had a breakfast special with the same stuff for 3.99.

So why the $10?  Because (and this is real), the breakfast special comes with 3 sausages and mine was a 'custom breakfast'.

I repeat, I am not making this up.

So I asked for a sausage, an uncooked one.  I explained that that would make it a breakfast special (barely containing my inner explosions)...
They gave me a new bill (but I never did get the third sausage...).

hysterical. so frequently, truth is just so much stranger than fiction, lolz.