It just doesn't feel right ...

[samina]

well, to be honest, it's not always someone trusting their intuition that's doing that. going back to the familiar is very emotional and reactive... not necessarily intuitive. listening to the intuition and trusting it to lead you in your best interests is, IME, a different dynamic.

The trick is learning to distinguish the difference.

exactly... 

[Some guy]

It's a little tough to do as it requires lots of analysis and introspection, but once you get the difference, it'll safe you time, money, effort, and a whole lot of unnecessary heart-ache. 

[TangoDancer]

Okay, so here's my two cents based solely on my experiences:
I've come to realize that intuition, if injected with my wishes, can only be the navigator of my conscious brain.  However, left to its own devices, it becomes the navigator of my higher self.  Instead of defining what I want, if I ask intuition to get me to where I need to be, when I need to be there, it would take me through very unfamiliar territory to wondrous places my conscious brain never dreamed of, but my higher self always knew about.

Nice post.

navigating those waters can be confusing at first. but if one just goes in the direction of what feels good... it leads to good places. the intuition does give off red flags to warn of something that is not desireable.

I believe the difference that you guys are discussing is in sam's post. What feels good doesn't always lead to good places, and intuion's red flags do not always warn of things undesirable. Sometimes, they are simply things unknown (SG's point). Learning to tune in to these feelings w/o abating, influencing, or otherwise affecting them, yet paying attention and heeding to them is the art that sam spoke of. I think.

This is the principle behind much zen state training (which is great in dance).

[samina]

What feels good doesn't always lead to good places

but it can create a state of receptivity and nonresistance, which creates a much less disturbed demeanor where greater clarity can be experienced. that's a very big part of what was behind that comment. i definitely didn't mean "feeling good" in the sense of self-medication or self-avoidance, but n the way of working with one's emotions honestly. actually what i meant... would require its own thread, i think.

and intuion's red flags do not always warn of things undesirable.

in this case, it's generally been my experience that i couldn't possibly notice those red flags because my emotional self was just ridiculously too disturbed by an intense projection, lolz.

Learning to tune in to these feelings w/o abating, influencing, or otherwise affecting them, yet paying attention and heeding to them is the art that sam spoke of. I think.

*yes* pay attention, observe... and even just choosing to not react while continuing along a certain path creates the spaciousness to gain clarity.

anyway, we are speaking in such abstractions and it's easy to get lost in the words.

in the end, there's no replacement for that zen state you've described, is there... being spacious and without reactivity goes so far, IME...

[Dora-Satya Veda]

I believe the difference that you guys are discussing is in sam's post. What feels good doesn't always lead to good places, and intuion's red flags do not always warn of things undesirable. Sometimes, they are simply things unknown (SG's point). Learning to tune in to these feelings w/o abating, influencing, or otherwise affecting them, yet paying attention and heeding to them is the art that sam spoke of. I think.

This is the principle behind much zen state training (which is great in dance).

Yes, I agree. Be very careful with trusting the feelings. My teacher told me that as I didn't know what it would feel like dancing as a world finalist then how could I compare it to my previous feelings? He actually said that I didn't even have an idea what it would feel like being in the next round. Looking back I have to agree I had no clue. I thought I knew how to dance let alone how to walk. I was really clueless. Everything that I thought it should feel like was so far remote that if that if my previous feelings had been my guide then I would never have gotten out of second round (in the British Open). I was actually not even able to imagine what it should feel like to dance well when I first started. It was like going from one end of the world to the other. You can only see and imagine a little bit ahead. It is not until you look back that you see how far you have come.

[samina]

i think i'll take a moment to clarify what exactly i meant by "going in the direction of what feels good", because that can be taken quite a number of ways and has interpretations i wouldn't agree with, at least from personal experience.

using the OP's situation as an example... "something doesn't feel right" and ostensibly one doesn't know exactly what it is. does saying "no" to the connection feel immediately "right" and give a feeling of peace? great... go in that direction. does saying "no" to the connection *not* feel right and *not* give a feeling of peace because perhaps one feels irritated by the person in general, or perhaps because there's just "something" drawing you into relationship with the person? then don't walk away, stay open to the relationship, *observe*, and direct one's thought toward "what's here for me? what can i learn? i'm hear to learn something..." and that will no doubt feel better...

it's about changing one's thoughts and perspective to re-frame an experience in a way that gives a sense of personal relief, with a high degree of responsibility for one's choices. doing that, IME, allows someone to follow one's intuition with a very strong degree of accuracy, whether it involves something we might judge on the surface as "feeling right" or "not feeling right".

if that makes sense...  

[Some guy]

does saying "no" to the connection *not* feel right and *not* give a feeling of peace because perhaps one feels irritated by the person in general, or perhaps because there's just "something" drawing you into relationship with the person? then don't walk away, stay open to the relationship, *observe*, and direct one's thought toward "what's here for me? what can i learn? i'm hear to learn something..." and that will no doubt feel better...

You have no idea how ironic the timing of this is.  My dance mom just told me this very same thing earlier today.

[samina]

That's strangely ironic, indeed. Cuz it's not the kind of explanation one hears everyday...

[QPO]

I have read somewhere that people tend to feel more 'immediate bond' with someone who has 'similar personality traits' with them.

Eg. I don't feel immediate bond with my best friend because I am more quiet and she is more outgoing and outspoken type but I feel more immediate bond with my previous partner because we are both quieter more introverted people.

However, there are personality traits and then there are characters.

My friend does not come across as friendly when you first meet her but she is actually the most caring, loyal and genuine person !

My previous partner come across as harmless and nice when you first meet him but he is just about ready to switch loyalty when it suits his needs and he tells lies and partial truths to make himself looks good and put the blame on others.

Eg. He would tell me he disliked our teacher because he was such and such and I may partially agree with him and then he went to the said teacher and tell him that I said such and such things about him when in fact he was the one bringing the topic up.

I can't see these things when I first meet them right ?

I think we can but sometimes are clouded by other things that we are not listening