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Author Topic: It just doesn't feel right ...  (Read 2394 times)
SwingWaltz
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« on: February 01, 2010, 07:19:49 AM »

Has it ever happen to you where you're in a position looking for a partner, and a girl/guy is also in the same situation, but somehow it just doesn't feel "right"? I'm talking even before a tryout.
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elisedance
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« Reply #1 on: February 01, 2010, 07:53:44 AM »

absolutely.  So you have two options: trust the feeling knowing that you make good choices that way, or ignore the feeling and find out why.  It really depends on the pool - I would take option one if I had real choices but two if the pool were limited.  After all, IMO its very rare that such a feeling is wrong - but it might be about something that is irrelevant to actually dancing and competing: you might dislike the person and yet love to dance with her.
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cornutt
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« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2010, 10:35:41 AM »

I'd want to do a bit of self-analysis and try to figure out why I'm getting that feeling.  Who or what does this person remind me of?  It could be my unconscious trying to warn me that this is a type of person that I've had bad experiences with before.  On the other hand, it could be just a fear reaction based on this person's being "unfamiliar territory", in terms of the type of people that we usually encounter in this situation.
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Some guy
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« Reply #3 on: February 01, 2010, 12:52:24 PM »

Trust the feeling. It has already seen your future.  Like EE said, ignore the feeling, logically reason your way out of it, and you'll soon find out why you had the feeling, and then it's usually too late, or a lot of time has passed by. 
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samina
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« Reply #4 on: February 01, 2010, 01:02:46 PM »

Trust the feeling. It has already seen your future.  Like EE said, ignore the feeling, logically reason your way out of it, and you'll soon find out why you had the feeling, and then it's usually too late, or a lot of time has passed by. 

i agree. this is just all part of life, and the way the intuition works. go toward what feels right and works, don't bother with what doesn't, and don't make too much of a big deal about either. Smiley
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cornutt
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« Reply #5 on: February 01, 2010, 01:25:25 PM »

I don't know; intuition isn't always right.  I've seen too many cases of people whose feelings about relationships keep leading them back towards the familiar, even when the familiar is something that's bad for them.  It happens in abuse cases a lot, and it can be a very difficult pattern to break out of. 
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samina
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« Reply #6 on: February 01, 2010, 02:10:50 PM »

I don't know; intuition isn't always right.  I've seen too many cases of people whose feelings about relationships keep leading them back towards the familiar, even when the familiar is something that's bad for them.  It happens in abuse cases a lot, and it can be a very difficult pattern to break out of. 


well, to be honest, it's not always someone trusting their intuition that's doing that. going back to the familiar is very emotional and reactive... not necessarily intuitive. listening to the intuition and trusting it to lead you in your best interests is, IME, a different dynamic.

you're right, cornutt... there's definitely a difference.
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standarddancer
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« Reply #7 on: February 01, 2010, 02:17:40 PM »

Trust the feeling. It has already seen your future.  Like EE said, ignore the feeling, logically reason your way out of it, and you'll soon find out why you had the feeling, and then it's usually too late, or a lot of time has passed by. 

I like this!!! very well said:)
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dlgodud
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« Reply #8 on: February 01, 2010, 02:20:11 PM »

Trust the feeling. It has already seen your future.  Like EE said, ignore the feeling, logically reason your way out of it, and you'll soon find out why you had the feeling, and then it's usually too late, or a lot of time has passed by. 

i agree. this is just all part of life, and the way the intuition works. go toward what feels right and works, don't bother with what doesn't, and don't make too much of a big deal about either. Smiley

I go with this. Especially, a woman falls for a guy who is like her father, but abusive. I've seen many cases of those. Because I guess it's more like familiarity and a habit instead of intuition. 
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elisedance
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« Reply #9 on: February 01, 2010, 03:32:43 PM »

Trust the feeling. It has already seen your future.  Like EE said, ignore the feeling, logically reason your way out of it, and you'll soon find out why you had the feeling, and then it's usually too late, or a lot of time has passed by. 

i agree. this is just all part of life, and the way the intuition works. go toward what feels right and works, don't bother with what doesn't, and don't make too much of a big deal about either. Smiley

I go with this. Especially, a woman falls for a guy who is like her father, but abusive. I've seen many cases of those. Because I guess it's more like familiarity and a habit instead of intuition. 

But doesn't that argue the opposite very strongly - and why we have sensitibilities to check on our intuition? 
Intuition is an amazing thing - it can steer you away from disaster and towards success.  However, as C said, its not infallible - in particular when we have something poorly programmed.  IMO alot of people who can't find a partner have a mismatch between their intuition and their actual needs - to adivse them to allways follow their intuition could be a route to loneliness...
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
samina
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« Reply #10 on: February 01, 2010, 03:41:17 PM »


But doesn't that argue the opposite very strongly - and why we have sensitibilities to check on our intuition? 
Intuition is an amazing thing - it can steer you away from disaster and towards success.  However, as C said, its not infallible - in particular when we have something poorly programmed.  IMO alot of people who can't find a partner have a mismatch between their intuition and their actual needs - to adivse them to allways follow their intuition could be a route to loneliness...

the thing about intuition is that it will lead you based on the conclusions and discriminating choices you've already made. so if you *haven't* made those choices, it may lead you right to the thing you think you want, even if later on you realize it wasn't in your best interests. intuition lets you see through the facade to what lies underneath, but only based on what you've already asserted is desireable or undesireable to you... and which you've backed up with action.

if you find abusive men attractive and comfortable, because of an old pattern, and have never struck out with courage away from this, and caught the dynamic when it occurs and chosen in the moment a healthier path, even if it left you feeling vulnerable... no intuition is going to come rescue you, because it's not a force happening *to* you, it's coming from within. if that makes sense...



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elisedance
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« Reply #11 on: February 01, 2010, 03:45:19 PM »

so your image is that intuition is dynamic and alterable?  In essence that it can grow?  I'm not sure mine is - it might be, I'm just not sure.
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If you must leave the house, go build a home...

The limit of your love is also the limit of your art...
MusicChica
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« Reply #12 on: February 01, 2010, 03:46:09 PM »

IMO alot of people who can't find a partner have a mismatch between their intuition and their actual needs - to adivse them to allways follow their intuition could be a route to loneliness...

...Or they could be like me and just never meet anybody...
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samina
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« Reply #13 on: February 01, 2010, 03:49:18 PM »

so your image is that intuition is dynamic and alterable?  In essence that it can grow?  I'm not sure mine is - it might be, I'm just not sure.
absolutely... it's like a muscle... grows in strength and definition with its use. and at the beginning, just like a muscle, it can even be hard to locate & isolate if it hasn't been used on purpose much. Smiley
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samina
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« Reply #14 on: February 01, 2010, 03:54:01 PM »

on topic... one of my FB friends posted this article on her wall: http://www.catalystmagazine.net/component/content/article/92/1111-coach-jeannette-transforming-the-jerks-in-your-life

Great quote from it: "The best solution (to getting rid of jerks in one's life...) is to change what it was within ourselves that allowed the jerk in in the first place."

So WRT intuition, if one changes within the self what used to attract jerks to it, then the intuition will serve that self and attract what it now wants... Smiley

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