The perfect lead (PL) ... what is he like?

[TangoDancer]

My dance mother always said, "Never give a woman a choice; she'll take the wrong one, everytime."    she went on to say, "Do not lead the lady by 'making' her go someplace. Simply direct the dance. She will follow. You have 2 tasks. Your first job on the floor is to be a director. Direct where you wish the 'dance' to go, and how you wish the 'lady' to look. She will then follow the dance...not you. Then, your second job is to complete the movement by following the lady to the end of your direction.

In this manner, I assume responsibility for not only leading the dance, but making sure that my partner is certain of my intention, and secure in her movement from beginning to end. My BR partner gets very upset when persons say thata I have a strong lead. She says that I have one of the lightest leads that she has ever encountered, but it is also the most definite. (not patting my own back... making a point of how to do what my coach asked me to do)

[elisedance]

....can't wait for a chance to dance with you. 

[TangoDancer]

   Thank you. It would be my selfish pleasure.

[elisedance]

Ahhh... swoon....
(counts saved pennies for tickets....)

[drj]

I find it interesting that the PF thread has more replies than the PL thread. Perhaps we followers have more desire to excel?  Or did DSV's post describing the PL say it all, and there's nothing to add? She wrote:

A Perfect Initiator (PI) gives the Perfect Responder (PR) no choice but to do what he wants. He tells her in perfect time to respond perfectly to his when, where, what and how much.

My main teacher ... would at times take total beginners and dance around with them like they had danced for years and were world class. 

The only thing I can add here is that the PI gives *everyone* with whom he dances no choice but to do what he wants. I remember vividly the first time I encountered this kind of leader, when I was the kind of rank beginner who's still looking at her feet and counting out loud. This man made even *me* look good. I will be grateful to him for the rest of my life for this introduction to what leading can be.

[elisedance]

I find it interesting that the PF thread has more replies than the PL thread. Perhaps we followers have more desire to excel? 

I think you are assuming that the replies were by F's....

[drj]

I find it interesting that the PF thread has more replies than the PL thread. Perhaps we followers have more desire to excel? 

I think you are assuming that the replies were by F's....

<counts on fingers> sixteen of them were. Is that a significant number?

[albanaich]

And that does not reflect the ratio of males to females at a dance clase?

[drj]

And that does not reflect the ratio of males to females at a dance clase?

Not necessarily; several were repeat posters. Not to mention that there are sometimes dance classes in which M outnumber F, sometimes F>M. (well, of course, F>M, but not necessarily in sheer numbers )

HUMOR! IT WAS HUMOR!

[samina]

He was always telling the man that he should focus on how to hold the lady so that she would want to stay in his arms forever. I remember always feeling totally safe and at home in his arms. I used to love every second I could get to spend in his arms. There is not many in this world that can get a lady to feel total “gaga” in his arms. Of the men I have danced with there are only 6 men that have even come a little close to my main teacher. I love it when I get a rare change to be in the arms of one of those men.  

one coach i've worked with a bit seems to excel at this... perhaps that's why his female students (pros included) are famously gaga over dancing with him. feels like being ensconced in a comfy couch when taking hold. just lovely, comfy, easy, safe, and very *spacious*.

[samina]

the other quality i appreciate in a PL/PI is that he responds easily and graciously to what the woman has initiated, creating that lovely mutual synergy. the moment a lead gets stuck in the resistant mentality of "you didn't do what i wanted you to do" or tries to force a follow without being in the moment of what "is"... meh... instantly less enjoyable.

[QPO]

it just sounds very heavenly and look forward to having that experience....especially with my dance partner

[elisedance]

When something goes wrong its he starts the sentence with: 'I' or 'We' not 'you'..

[catsmeow]

Is the perfect lead or leader (male) just an instrument to make the perfect follower feel like swooning? Maybe you gals are too interested in finding the perfect swoon and forget that dancing has two sides to the coin. As a perfect leader (male) maybe I just want to do the steps perfectly in perfect timing as it relates to myself. egad this thread is complicated!

[elisedance]

Is the perfect lead or leader (male) just an instrument to make the perfect follower feel like swooning? Maybe you gals are too interested in finding the perfect swoon and forget that dancing has two sides to the coin. As a perfect leader (male) maybe I just want to do the steps perfectly in perfect timing as it relates to myself. egad this thread is complicated!

Maybe you should take up hip-hop instead then?
No worries about 'reactors'
specially about the nuclear kind