The perfect follower (PF) .... what is she like?

[elisedance]

I hope we get a lot of input from the guys here

This came up in the body school topic in a conversation between me and drj:

me:
I often think of the 'perfect follower' (PF).  Lets say a woman walks into the studio of the Perfect Lead (PL) who is the PF.  How much would she have to actually learn in order to dance top-level standard?  [Because of the far less body contact I think the answer is a heck of a lot for latin]  

drj
What is she like, the PF?

I started to answer but realized that I don't really know enough so who would like to describe the perfect follow?

[ttd]

I don't think you can look at it out of context of a couple. Someone might be a perfect follower for one man and not so for another. Even if you randomly pair up parts of really high-level couples, who are probably as perfect as you can get, they still need some time to get used to one another, regardless of the style they are doing.

[Dora-Satya Veda]

My teacher said that a great lady can respond to anything not just anyone.

I am sorry I was taught to never downgrade a lady to a “follower” (unconscious inactive) so I can’t say that. We were taught to call the lady a responder and the very best in the business are perfect responders (PR).

One of my daughters pride herself with being able to respond to anybody and in her 20+ years of dancing she has only encountered one gentleman that was a total mystery to her.

I must say for the most part, I find it pretty easy to read what the man wants even when he is far from a perfect initiator (PI). It is all about keeping it simple.

DSV

[elisedance]

My sliip - I do know what you mean by 'responder' but the follower term is so widely used.  I really should change...
I don't remember hearing the 'perfect initiator' term before - but I like that too....  let me see is I can change...

[cornutt]

Sorry, I just can't deal with the term "responder"... I totally understand what DSV means by it, but the word itself puts me in mind of EMTs and message-passing operating systems.     So if you will, allow me to redefine "follow" to mean "responder", and let's proceed from there.   

So what would be the perfect follow for me?  I'm having a hard time expressing the concept in terms of what the PF would do or not do in terms of technique.  This is not much help, but at the moment the only words I can think of are to express it in terms of what it would feel like to dance with a PF.  And to me, here's what it would feel like: A PF would be a lady with whom I can totally lose myself in the music and the experience of the dance, and never have to consciously think about leading.  How's that for a start?

[elisedance]

Its an interesting question because if she is too good a 'follower' you might forget you were dancing with anyone.  Perhaps thats the advantage of the responder term since it implies a reaction in addition to compliance...

I have heard men say that it is scary to dance with an outstanding woman dancer because an error will set be read as a lead to do something unintended.  Interestingly, I've heard exactly the same thing about a powerful car or motorcycle - they are so responsive you have to worry about driving off the road!

[drj]

She learns your "language" very easily, so she can read your leads quickly, then never mis-reads your leads again: this means she's intelligent in specific way that's difficult to define
She communicates her joy in dancing with you
She is musical
She has great rhythm, neither rushing nor late
She is lovely -- or at least she is while she's dancing with you
She makes you feel like you are the most important person in the world

[SwingWaltz]

She follows as well as you lead. 

[drj]

She follows as well as you lead. 

Do you really want that from her???

[elisedance]

She follows as well as you lead. 

Do you really want that from her???

Great question...

I think most leads would be disappointed if thats all they got.  It would also be a bit of a reality check

[albanaich]

Well I found my perfect follow a couple of years ago. We are good friends but there is something like a 30 year age difference. . . . .. . which has its problems.

You can put her anywhere, but if you are doing something wrong, there's an instant feedback. We try to avoid each other because its too much fun, this is addictive stuff and I don't want to get 'addicted' to a 20 year old college student than she wants to get 'addicted' to a 50 something old man.

[elisedance]

sorry to hear that alb - but addictions are funny things, they are hard to avoid until they have run their course so if you are not dancing with her now there were probably other factors that contributed to the split.

maybe you can find someone in your own age group?  I hvae.  Its not an addiction by far but its at least a common purpose and when you are older I think that is more stable than the alternative.......

[cdnsalsanut]

Interesting turn in the discussion. I dance addictively, in every sense of the word. And I agree it's a better addiction than many, but it's still an addiction.

I agree that a man can tell within seconds how well the lady will respond/follow.

I have a bad back and any kind of weight transfer hurts me. Ladies who are slow to respond or put their weight on me otherwise (I heard the phrase heavy follow at one point and that makes a lot of sense to me) I avoid. I just don't enjoy it. I enjoy ladies who dance with me weightlessly.  Where we have a very light touch and respond. I've danced with a 250 lbs lady who was weightless and I dance with a friend who is very thin and athletic and it feels like moving a rusty iron robot around...I wake up in the morning feeling like I've been run over.

I think patience is a virtue in responders. Wait and I will let you know what I want you to do.

I think technique is everything. I'm a long way from having good technique but for every step I'm learning I'm trying to learn the proper technique for myself and also for the lady, where I should be so that I assist her in being where she needs to be, how I signal her what I want her to do...

[SwingWaltz]

She follows as well as you lead. 

Do you really want that from her???

Great question...

I think most leads would be disappointed if thats all they got.  It would also be a bit of a reality check

I would think in reality, yea! If I want more from my follow, I would give her more as a lead! That's what I've been told and I agree with it.

[skipper]

She learns your "language" very easily, so she can read your leads quickly, then never mis-reads your leads again: this means she's intelligent in specific way that's difficult to define
She communicates her joy in dancing with you
She is musical
She has great rhythm, neither rushing nor late
She is lovely -- or at least she is while she's dancing with you
She makes you feel like you are the most important person in the world

WOW--I would like to be able to frre my mind and body to do some of this!