The Age at one begins to Dance

[elisedance]

AH yes.  Years ago, one social I couldn't get a dance for love or money.  Then one week I went wearing a flimsy mini-skirt with black tights.  I never sat down all night.

That said, it has to be recognized that social dancing is also a mating game (and I use mating not meeting on purpose).  While we may look down on that from the ivory tower of competition dancing - thats what it has always has been to 99% of dancers, whatever the form

[cornutt]

No offense to men but I am just curious why does so many men think it is ok to have a partner 30 years younger than they are but then think that a woman a year older that they are is too old ?

For a man, there's a competitive disadvantage in having an older partner.  It sucks, but that's the way it works out.  Having said that: There's no way I would take on a follow 30 years younger for competition, one reason being that her vastly superior skills in flexibility and body movement would simply highlight my deficiencies.  And that would be true even if I were a high-level pro.  In fact, off the top of my head, the only pro I know of who has done that and really gotten away with it is Bob Powers, and that's because he's an android.   

[Some guy]

For a man, there's a competitive disadvantage in having an older partner.  It sucks, but that's the way it works out.  

Not sure if I agree.  My personal belief is that it depends on ability, not age.  If a lady were 30 years older, but could wipe the floor with me, I would gladly partner up and massacre the competition.  To me, good dancing is good dancing is good dancing and on a dance floor it'll be hard to argue with.  I'm sure the other amateurs might even consider it an unfair advantage that I have 30-years more than my fair share of experience in my arms.

Having said that: There's no way I would take on a follow 30 years younger for competition, one reason being that her vastly superior skills in flexibility and body movement would simply highlight my deficiencies.  And that would be true even if I were a high-level pro.  In fact, off the top of my head, the only pro I know of who has done that and really gotten away with it is Bob Powers, and that's because he's an android.  

Again, I disagree with my two cents.   This is only because I personally have run into a lot of really good dancers who believe flexibility has little or nothing do with good dancing... well, ballroom and Latin dancing.  A previous top three ranked amateur Latin dancer I know can't touch his toes.  He can't even straighten his knees while sitting down due to his lack of flexibility... and he's in his twenties.  I've learned that flexibility is an illusion, as strange as that sounds, as routines can be designed to either highlight your lack of flexibility or give you the illusion of amazing flexibility.  Body movement, speed, etc., seems to not be too affected by age up to a certain degree... but once again, it's my personal belief based on my personal encounters.  I believe it all depends on ability.  For example, I've seen Donnie Burns move and I was blown away at how he made one of the top pros he was teaching look like he was geriatric compared to Donnie Burns.  I've had a few lessons with Corky Ballas who still makes a mockery of my speed.  So if I were a 15-year old girl and Donnie Burns wanted to turn amateur and partner up with me, I think there would be a lot of very worried amateurs in the country.      

However, if we were both just starting to dance and my partner was 30 years older than me, there's a possibility that it might be a disadvantage because just like heights and body types, the partnership would look mismatched, which is only a disadvantage until the dancing starts to outshine every thing else.  "Mismatched" is the word I would use to describe Bryan Watson and Claudia Leoni when they were partners but it never stopped them from reaching the top. 

[dancingirldancing]

The sad thing is that the gentlemen (yup plural) I was referring above was no Donnie Burns (even though they may think otherwise).

They apparently have been doing  some silver classes and a few privates and think that since they know silver figures they are above most people.

Also, everyone of them flat out refused to even meet up and even see how this wonderful lady that I was referring to them looks like.

So they write her off before even meeting her purely because of age.

Even though technically she is still 10 years younger than the youngest of them.

One quite hefty gentlemen also have an option to dance with a size 14 lady in her 40s at about the same ability level with him. He refused because he thinks that she is too fat. She was very happy to share lessons with him....

Well, on the other hand I have been written off by men (before even meeting me or seeing me dance) in their 20's because I am not under 25 years old.

I've been mistaken for a uni student so many times I forgot to count ... so I do look young. I couldn't find a partner for a long time for this very reason !

I just don't understand what is the obsession with men and age !

Oh and ppl my age don't want to dance with me in social as soon as they know how old I am they want to dance with someone in their teens..... preferably in mini skirts ....

[elisedance]

well, think of it this way: anyone that uses such inane standards to pick partners is really not worth it and is almost certainly not material as a dance partner.

I think we focus way too much on the dance aspect of the dance partnership - the latter is usually what makes or breaks the relationship.  If you don't have guts, trust, loyalty and tollerance you probably should not even think of competetive dancing at least.  Social dancing might still work - but only if you also change partners a lot so that you get a reality check...

[dlgodud]

If you are a good dancer, I don't think the age gap in partnership is not an issue.
One of my previous teacher(male) started competing with his new partner who is 13years older than he is and having good results.
He tried to find a partner over a year without success. I am pretty sure he tried with ladies who are younger than he is vice versa.
I could see in his partnership that if you reach to certain level, the age is not a big deal. The issue is if you are a good dancer or not.

The issue from your statement, I think, is that gentlemen who asked you to become their partner are not your level and am not sure that
they could improve as fast as you do and have the same goal like yours. Simply it seems that they want to show off using you. I don't mind my partner
using me to show off his dancing skill, but at least he should be in the level I am in if he wants to do that.

[Some guy]

Oh and ppl my age don't want to dance with me in social as soon as they know how old I am they want to dance with someone in their teens..... preferably in mini skirts ....

I think the quote that sums up my response best is, "people who mind [the age gap] don't matter, and people who matter don't mind".  I know lots of people out there still holding out for "advanced" "slim" "young" (all or some of the above) partners when they themselves are NONE of the above.  I think it all comes down to pure delusion. 

[QPO]

Oh and ppl my age don't want to dance with me in social as soon as they know how old I am they want to dance with someone in their teens..... preferably in mini skirts ....

  I think it all comes down to pure delusion. 

this is the truth and it can happen on both sides....it is a shame and very limiting. They are not emotionally intelligent

[SwingWaltz]

No offense to men but I am just curious why does so many men think it is ok to have a partner 30 years younger than they are but then think that a woman a year older that they are is too old ?

If men don't think it's ok to DATE someone 30 years younger, why should they hesitate getting a dance partner 30 years younger. 

[elisedance]

because they are not after a dance partner.  They want to hold a sexy young woman.  But don't tell them that, they are also in total denial.

[QPO]

obviously the mind set of a man must be hard wired differently after a certain age

[elisedance]

obviously the mind set of a man must be hard wired differently after a certain age

No, I think the problem is that they loose their rewiring.  Men are initially attracted (hard-wired) to young nubile women.  As they age they come to appreciate women and some of that superimposes on their hardwiring.  Then as they age further the extra stuff is lost and they revert to form....

[dlgodud]

because they are not after a dance partner.  They want to hold a sexy young woman.  But don't tell them that, they are also in total denial.

Not interested what they are looking for on the floor. I need a guy who can dance.  Am I asking too much??

[elisedance]

because they are not after a dance partner.  They want to hold a sexy young woman.  But don't tell them that, they are also in total denial.

Not interested what they are looking for on the floor. I need a guy who can dance.  Am I asking too much??

for that you have to look elsewhere than on a social floor.  You have to look online, in studios, through friends - and maybe at a LOT of social studios you might find him - oh, and look at competitions.  Guys looking for partners often go to watch in hopes...

[dlgodud]

because they are not after a dance partner.  They want to hold a sexy young woman.  But don't tell them that, they are also in total denial.

Not interested what they are looking for on the floor. I need a guy who can dance.  Am I asking too much??

for that you have to look elsewhere than on a social floor.  You have to look online, in studios, through friends - and maybe at a LOT of social studios you might find him - oh, and look at competitions.  Guys looking for partners often go to watch in hopes...

The thing is I hardly go to Social, not interested that much unless if there are some familiar faces.