SNAP!

[Ginger]

Original, eh? *eyeroll*

Anyway- going to get started by re-posting some stuff from FB, etc.

[Ginger]

Boys' Guide to Ballroom Hygiene

A lot of you fellas think that taking a mere shower and slapping on some of that nancy hair-product is enough preparation before going out into the fray and whisking ladies off their feet. Well, as a straight-up bitch, I'm here to tell you differently.

1. The first thing women notice about you is your face. Make sure you want to show it in public. No, wait- your judgement isn't good enough- ask someone to check you over if you're totally helpless.

2. Your face should be oil-free. Nobody wants to drop an egg on it and fry it, so drain it all off with a good sudsy cleanser while you're rinsing your hair (and don't TELL me you use a shampoo/conditioner all in one, either).

3. Your face shouldn't resemble french toast, either- no powdered sugar. Dry skin isn't sweet. Take a note from your smooth, silky-skinned lady friends and EXFOLIATE. After that, apply an oil-free moisturizer lightly, and you should be good to go. Pay SPECIAL attention to eyebrows, the corners of your nose and mouth, and in, out, and around your ears...

4. ...Which you tweeze and maintain just like the rest of your facial hair, of *course*. In ballroom, facial hair in excess is just plain disgusting for several reasons. One- nobody wants to dance with a porn-star *or* a quaker. Two, facial hair retains odors from your breath, your house, your car, whatever. Nobody wants to smell baked salmon, cardboard pine-tree, or god-forbid, cigarette smoke clinging to your face.

5. This should be an obvious one- do a freakin' booger-check in the mirror. No, gooey sniffling repeatedly does NOT take care of the slug clinging vainly to your nostril-hair like a latch-key to mommy's new boyfriend. It jerks it up and down like a puppeteer does a melted Kermit. Nose, eyes, corner of the mouth, check, blow your nose, do your wiping. Don't sass me, either- if you KNEW the extremes women went through to make sure THEIR end of the deal was held up... well, no, you'd still be a jerkwad about it, which is why I'm writing this to tell you how to do it right.

6. I don't CARE if that zit isn't ready to pop yet. It has a yellow head and it's starting to wink and make passes at me. Pop the SOB, daub on some salicylic and a little moisturizer. If you don't, most women DO get a sick thrill out of squeezing the piss right out of one of those big disgusting goobers.

7. If someone offers you a mint, tissue, or other something more than twice, TAKE IT. "Do you want a mint? No? Are you sure? No, really, do you want one?" Translation: You reek. So you've done away with any facial maladies that might come up. Again, breath mints, clean hands, and deodorant are a given, so there's that in a nutshell. Oh- Cologne...

8. Migraines are caused by certain colognes. If women around you appear to have difficulty breathing, sneeze a lot, or have to mask pulling faces, that dollar-store polo (or the real thing, for that matter- it's entirely two decades ago) you slapped on has to go. Women prefer the scent of good soap and deodorant, and Tide or Cheer on your clothes- in essence, don't go overboard on the scent. She's there to dance with you for three minutes at a time, not embark on some eroto-pheromonal journey of up-sexing with you.

9. Just because you've gone through this ritual once before heading to the dance, you probably think that you won't need to spot-check and maintain throughout the night. Well, surprise- you sweat in more places than just your armpits and your disgusting hairy crack (don't even lie, I know you don't even bother manscaping). Your face will heat up and sweat will eventually begin to wash away all of your carefully- applied potions. Now, what would a woman do if SHE had a make-up malady? Why, reach in her handy little purse, withdraw a mild, pre-moistened towelette, head for the restroom, touch up, and come back fresh as a daisy. What do you do? Mop up with your sleeve, right? Sweeet, not only are you shiny-faced, but NOW my *arm* is, too, because that's where I have to put it- on your portable Brawny Quicker Picker Upper made by Kenneth Cole.

10. On that note, here are things every male should carry in his manly shoebag: Tic-tacs, small pack of towelettes, small pack of tissues, small spray-can of Axe or somesuch for Just In Case (by the way, UN BUTTON your shirt ALL THE WAY, take it off, put the deo on, and carefully put the shirt back on, otherwise you're going to have questionable white goo near your collar from where your hamfisted self clumsily smeared it all about. I'm not telling you what I think it looks like), small comb or brush and a little can of light-hold spray, a small set of nail-clippers with one of those swing-out files (no, bitten nails are *not* sexy- they just look like you were out of your mom's reach for five seconds at church), hand sanitizer, a small mirror, and anything else you can think of to make dancing a more pleasant experience- for the ladies with whom you dance! Just remember- packing all that stuff doesn't make you immune- you have to actually USE it!

Don't worry- next time, I'll rip on the broads. Update: It's halfway done.

[Ginger]

The more I think about it, the more I think the same ingredients which make a good competitive dancer also factor in to make a good social dancer- no need to revisit many of them, as they're basically givens (technique, timing, styling, musicality, etc.). Some of the newsletters I've recently gotten from a group of which I'm a member have prompted me to think more about this. I find it pretty irksome that on our local level, A particular and un-named organization for dancers is trying to "make" the instructors teach only thirty-minute lessons, and continually review ONLY the first three or so basic figures of dancing, and NOT deviate from that.

Is it any wonder a lot of people think social dancers are inferior dancers? If that's all they get, that's all they do, and if that's all they do, of *course* there's a considerable margin of comparison between "social" dancers of that ilk, and other dancers, competitive or not. Whoever wrote Desiderata should be punched in the nose for indoctrinating several generations with a crippling meekness and Harrison Bergeron-style disdain for 'the better'.

The assumption that only competitive dancers are serious about improving their dancing, and pre-dance lessons should be sugar-water is erroneous and ridiculous, never mind the fact that this very subtly-veiled sentiment comes from something that touts themselves as *The* National Governing Body of Ballroom Dance. No one organization speaks for all ballroom dancers, thanks much, but nice try.

It does a great disservice to dedicated social dancers to *not* encourage them to "go as far as they can" with dancing. The more they learn, the better they get, and the more enjoyment they get *out* of dancing. A good social dancer is a resourceful and adaptable dancer, and that can only come with practice and experience- and growth.

Basically, what I see from certain groups, are that they're with-holding certain material from social dancers as an incentive for them to spend more money through buying more lessons. Also, they're trying to shuffle off the more experienced dancers so as not to "intimidate" beginner or "social" dancers. What better motivation than for social AND (there's no OR about it) to SEE beter dancing? There's always an inital phase of fear of collision or upsetting other dancers on the floor. We all went through it. MOST dancers are very gracious, forgiving dancers, for they remember what it was like to be beginners themselves. Only reckless, silly dancing with complete disregard to others irks people on the floor generally.

They use the silly argument that "social dancers don't need to know this" or "they can't possibly be ready for something like that"- really? A freakin' right box? And you don't think they need to know this after FIFTEEN years of dancing in your SILVER program? Could it just be that maybe *you* don't know how to present it in a useful fashion to social dancers? Hmmm...

Social dancers prefer not to compete for many different reasons, the same way some people choose not to have children or eat red meat, or use those annoying white icecicle lights on the front of their house for X-mas. It's just a preference, and regardless of it, it shouldn't inhibit their growth as students and enthusiasts of a pastime for *everyone*, NOT just people who compete. It's frankly discriminatory to presume that a social curriculum should purposefully be "watered down". Granted, a group class before a simple social dance doesn't necessarily have to include throwaway oversways and double reverses, but if the majority of the dancers taking the class have a grasp of basic dancing, why *shouldn't* they deserve something more interesting, like technique, styling, variations of the basic elements they already have, even small patterns? It seems rude to push aside your "level two" dancers because they're of no more use to you, to try to grab and drag in newbies. If newbies saw more advanced dancers on the floor more frequently, they'd get over their (unwarranted, but I know- we've all been there!) fear of them, and of bumps and such. Progress should be an inspiration and a motivation, NOT a handicap, and as long as there's a segregation between socials who are damned to being "perpetual beginners" and "competitive dancers", there will be a gaping hole in the fabric of amateur ballroom dancing.

Being a competitive dancer does *not* mean one is more advanced (otherwise, why even bother with Newcomer-bronze divisions?). Sometimes, it just means they can pay more to suck just as bad with a number on their back as without. I believe any social dancer still taking lessons *should*, however, have a periodic evaluation and constructive critique of their dancing by their teacher, though. It would give them a realistic sense of aptitude and provide them with goals and motivation to improve.

Disclaimer: My intent isn't to offend anyone in any way, nor is it to spark a Competition Versus Social debate- I think the two are very similar, if social is a bit less orangey-brown, and aspects from *both* sides could work to produce dedicated, talented dancers who enjoy dancing socially and promoting dancing by being positive ambassadors for dancing *with* their dancing.

[Ginger]

Weddings generally have DJ'ed music, so most ballroom dancers who attend feel totally put-off by the music offered. That's because they don't know how to adapt to modern musical stylings, and need to, or stay seated.

Things to remember at weddings-with-dancing:

1. Unless you're the bride or groom, it isn't about your dancing. It's about their marriage. Yeah, I know... Shocker, huh!

2. Floor will often be too small to work out the kinks on the first wall of that new silver foxtrot pattern you just learned, and there are other people waiting for you to finish showboating and sit down, so they can do their awkward little drunk-shuffle-bump or the Cha-Cha Slide.

3. Most people getting married today are from their twenties to their mid-thirties. A lot of them don't even know who Benny Goodman was (I know- blasphemy, I get it). Their musical tastes will reflect that. Most popular music can be hustle, cha-cha, samba, mambo, or Nightclub. Learn 'em or Lump it.

4. Most people surrounding weddings have the fertility rate of hutch-rabbits, so there will be plenty of "juuust prreciousss" little ones clomping around shrilling loudly. Again- this isn't one of your dance venues, this is a *wedding*, a celebration of joyous love in someone's matrimony. When you're dancing, although most people agree that dancers have the rightaway on a dance floor, this isn't your average dance floor. Keep an eye out for knee-high bratlings dashing out in front of you. In close dance position, it will be difficult to see immediately behind your own partner, and nobody's going to blame Little Let's-make-her-name-unique-by-replacing-normal-vowels-with-y-or-i. You guessed it- it's those damned murderin' sonsodancers.

5. If you can't slim your usual dance-bag down, don't bother bringing it. Might not be enough room for your tango, standard, smooth, rhythm, swing, and practice shoes, so just pick a pair already to go with your partner's many numerous... black standard oxfords he's had since he started... and go with it. Remember how silly flesh-toned shoes look with black stockings, too, BTW.

** Unfinished

[Ginger]

So you want to be a dancer. No, according to what you told me during introductions at a dance, you've "always DREAMED" of becoming a dancer. Me, too, actually. Let's compare notes:

In your dreams, did you envision a twinkling chandelier, or a snazzy big disco ball, miles of butter-mellow hardwood floor, a big brassy big-band with some velvety, swank music tinkling in your ear, while you were picked up and swept across that floor, through the other dancers, and right by an oohing and aahing crowd of rapt onlookers by the chocolate-eyed, silver-tongued, odiferously decadent, leather-britched (okay, wrong fantasy) dashing man of your dreams?

Did you think you'd slick your hair back, smooth your pinstripe suit, pick up any pretty young thing, put her on your arm, and cut a rug (hers?) all night long until she smushed you up against your car and planted a big kiss right on your... mouth... in thanks for such a great evening?

Yeah. In your dreams. Like I said- mine, too.

Everyone has those dreams. I'm not mocking you for those. The sad mockery is the state of dance in many smaller, less 'urbanized' areas, such as xxx, xx, x, and so forth. In your dreams, you're being dipped and swayed by dark Lotharios in sultry mimicry of things lovers do, but in reality, things are quite different.

The newspaper ad says "Big Band Ballroom Dance This Saturday!" The cover's ten bucks. There's drinks and snacks. Big floor.

The reality is a rented building with owl-schyt-slick concrete floors and a heinous echo, the place is packed by older people in their Sears Catalog Vintage Finest (and pearls!), and a grade-school-sounding, off-beat band who always butchers Glenn Miller and Benny Goodman. No swirling or dipping. Some shuffling and bumping, sure. Any handsome devils or sexy divas? Sure, if you like silver. Hair, that is.

Sadly, the younger set in xxx (people under forty) don't have a lot of options for social ballroom dancing. Oh, sure, we're up to our asses in studios- you have four to choose from- but after you pay out the nose for months of lessons, where are you going to go to bust out your smooth moves?

Studio parties often frown on liquor, so getting a good buzz on to relax is often out. The floors in at least three of them are tiny, and they might not play the variety of music you like.

"Clubs" or bars in xxare just going to think you're a big old candy-ass if you try to do a Viennese Waltz or a Bolero in the middle of a floor on a Friday or Saturday night, *especially* Pure -what?- COUNTRY. You know, for LINE dancers. TWO steppers. NOT Fred and Ginger stuff. Oh, sure, they might think it's cute for awhile, but then a line-dance song comes on, and your ass better be off that floor unless you can bob and weave really good, unless you LOVE some swingin' and two-steppin'. Which, if you took tango or foxtrot, you might not.

So the problem is that a lot of people want to dance, but find studios too intimidating or pricey for just learning the basics to take to a club or bar and bump around a little bit. Furthermore, there are ballroom-centric enthusiasts (it's okay to call snobs, I totally understand- in fact, I have quite the ongoing identity complex over all of it) who "don't take kindly" to "yielding their LOD (line of dance)" to "the gropers and shufflers"... now add that sniffy little 'hmmf!' and head-toss. Awesome- that was lesson number one!

The bigger problem is that people, being frustrated with the sometimes frosty atmosphere of older, more conservative ballroom dancers (who forget when THEY were beginners sooo easily- as easily as they do their steps, in fact- yes, I notice these things), and the seeming inflexibility of That Crowd, cut themselves short of such a wonderful, beneficial part of their lives that dancing could become.

Dancing isn't just about swirling around and learning nifty tricks to impress people, or even the fitness and health aspects of it. Dancing improves balance and coordination, interpersonal communication, and provides you with a whole new way to laugh at yourself when you goof something up. We've met a small handful of some of the most wonderful, trusted people we know and love through dancing, but it's also made my partner and I really sit back and examine ourselves and each other as two halves of a 'couple', both on the floor and behind closed doors. We've gone through some growing pains and changes with our characters that, without dancing, might have been glossed over. We've become more brutally honest with one another. We've gotten to know each other infinitely better, and for every way we've grown farther apart, in another way, we've gotten that much closer together.

For people NOT into the whole Zen of Ballroom thing, it's just a damned fun way to spend your time. There's music on, people are moving around, you can either watch everyone else, or get up and try it yourself. When you need a breather, go have a beer (or soda- I personally don't advocate dancing when *too* buzzed- there's ha-ha-stupid and what-a-dumbass-stupid) and strike up a conversation with someone you danced with earlier, or might want to dance with later.

Dancing is TOO much fun to take SO damned seriously. Dancing was originally a way to express yourself in a way words, song, or other communication couldn't. It's the most primal urge some of us have. In the most conservative of churches, people will stills way to the rhythm of the hymn they're humming. It's a visceral pull inside us, an itch that can only be scratched by moving and twisting and holding and laughing. People who only dance by their special rulebooks, step-guides, and "learnings" sell themselves and dancing way too short. You didn't jog out of your mother's uterus, did you? No- you were spewed forth in a cheesy gush from her sweaty loins with a wrenching cry that could have been hers or your own, and it took you months before you could walk, pee on command, or bite hard enough to get them to stop making stupid faces and voices at you. It took years before you'd learn the value of hate, the price of love, the importance of balance during sex in stairwells. Dancing IS life in that it's born, it grows, it develops and breathes and consumes, but also in that it falls, grieves, sometimes even dies.

The beauty of a life in dancing is that it's your choice what life to give it. A half-life? A life led in quiet desperation? Life lived to the fullest? How will you live dance? WILL you dance, or will you be one of those pansy "big manly dudes" or prissy skanks who THINK you can dance by shuffling and bobbing in a giggly circle in the corner of the floor?

Dancing is a learning process. The basic figures of dance are a foundation upon which everything else in your dancing builds. In other words, lay it right once, you can walk on it for years. If you pour a bad foundation, everything crumbles and caves in. If you get a strong foundation, anything you put on it- even if it's fugly or stupid- will still grow strong, and there's always room for improvement.

Lessons are important for beginners. In addition to learning the figures for footwork, you'll learn how *not* to hold your wrist so you don't look like a gimp, how to move NASCAR-style around the floor and not trade paint with anybody, and what part of your weight should be in what part of your body, so that if you ARE a little tipsy, you don't take out a table with your skull.

Now that you have a more realistic dose of what social dancing IS, isn't, and SHOULD be, I really hope you take the opportunity to learn another secret weapon for high school reunions, another way to pass a rainy afternoon home with just you and your iPod, what to do with a really long, clear aisle in Wal-Mart at 2 am, or any other time you've ever thought 'Man- it's a shame we can't dance, or we could SO do this right now...'

[Ginger]

"The person who is moving forward has the power" is a phrase one often hears if they survive the initial few months or so of ballroom dancing lessons, but I think it's something that's applicable to just about any aspect of one's life. It's something my own ballroom technique coach intones to me on a regular basis when my partner and I are knocking the rough edges off of something that should be flowing and elegant instead of clompy and fumbly.

Forward motion denotes progress, growth, development, and achievement- all positive facets each person should strive to add to their ever-evolving character, in order to become a more complete person. Motion is the result of power, the catalyst, being employed to a situation, and it's most easily controlled- from a dancer's perspective- if one is pushing or driving it forward from behind it. You drive a car, a car doesn't drive you, for example. You dance tango- tango is not your puppetmaster. The music is aggressive and urgent, dictatorial and dominant, and if I let it, it'll run right over me, chew me up, and spit me out. That's why I have my partner- he staves off the invasion, I tactically weave routes in, out, and around the music with a defiant flick, an arrogant snap, and sometimes, when nobody's looking (or maybe because I hope they are), a salaciously naughty slither-wriggle as a solid "what-for". Why? Because I can- and if my partner did it, our students would leave and send the therapy bill to us.

The above is just a musing I had one night (okay, *morning*- to the tune of oh, 3:30 am) when both planning out some foxtrot choreography in my head, and also reflecting on a few changes occurring in my life. I don't have any other time for such reflection now, and maybe that's a good thing. At that hour, if you're not doing something constructive or sleeping, you really shouldn't be awake to let any negative thoughts in, for they're surely crippling. Give a pessimist enough time, and they WILL find something to stagnate upon- trust me, I know. I'm a recovering pessimist!

Four years ago this July 11th, I was an easily-winded, dormant, shapeless blob in a deep psychoemotional rut. Things in life that once thrilled me were now nuisances with which I had to deal as a sort of perfunctory formality. An alert not-yet-dance-partner noticed this decline in overall vitality in me, and made last-ditch arrangements for us to start taking lessons together for ballroom dancing- or go our separate ways. Things were that bad. My thoughts were chaotic, depressed, and all over the place by the time he told me the next Monday, we'd be taking group classes.

 There was that brief moment, though, where things stilled and narrowed when I opened the studio door and set my foot onto the butter-mellow hardwood for the first time, and it was an acute moment of clarity for me when I looked around at my new 'home'. Dancers of all shapes, sizes, aptitudes, and backgrounds were immersed in their own micro-worlds-for-two. Aside from a glance up and a quick greeting smile, nobody leered, nobody judged, and nobody called me any of the names in any of the scenarios I had imagined inside my head. I was blocking the entrance. I had to move forward. It gave me power.

----
Dancing has sharpened my communication skills in other ways. Through my body, my actions, I can tell my partner the things my tongue would stumble over and wreck. I can tell him that yes, of course I love him despite his perpetual tardiness when we waltz, that I still love that deeply-perplexed face he makes when he's trying so hard to do something right in foxtrot, that even though I never say I'm sorry, and I always pretend that I mean every terrible thing I say- or don't- to him, I'm still right there with him, following him, right or wrong, the whole way through when it takes two to tango. I can say everything I don't know how to verbalize when I dance, and in a way, it's a deeper communication. It isn't just sound, it's that and more- the soft swish of feet on hardwood, the way a drop of his shoulder can control the direction of my chin, the way my periphery can spot a rotation in the plane of my partner's collarbones to signify a direction change, every sensation comes into play with dancing on varying levels that enrich the communication more than mere words ever could.

Learning and honing that kind of subtle, wordless communication alone is why I encourage couples new and old out onto the floor and into our world, not to share our world with them, but to encourage them to fashion a new one of their own, just for them. Dancing is empowering in many ways physical and emotional, but the communicational tools it provides us with is more priceless than dropping the pounds, learning to walk with your shoulders square and your chin up, or really rubbing it in an old high school bully's face that you can totally bring it to the dance floor now, twenty years later, and they still can't.
With this in mind, I encourage and invite you to The Dance- whatever it may be, wherever it may be- but specifically to *our* dance at SIUC's Student Center Ballrooms each Tuesday. More of the plugging later, but I want to answer a few unspoken questions that people might have before taking the leap and signing up for lessons here in the following.

For whatever reason, you've decided or gotten drafted into ballroom dancing, be it a spouse dragging you along, nervous preparation for a wedding, or just morbid curiosity to see how long it REALLY takes those Dancing With The Stars dancers to learn those routines (I can tell ya- a LOT longer than "just six lessons"). Yaaay! One of us! One of us!

Okay, that's out of my system.

You're probably wondering a few things now, like why do we wear fugly shoes, and why doesn't the dress *I* picked out do that swirly floaty thing, and OMG, they know SO MUCH, how will I EVER get through this to that point? No sweat, we're going to start slow and go from the floor up, just like you would anything else you endeavor to do. First of all, learning will be frustrating. You're thinking "But... I can WALK... Why on EARTH can't I move my feet THIS way?"- It's simple. You've been walking HOW long? Your brain and your feet already have that involuntary connection- one foot forward at a time. You literally do not think about the mechanics of it. When you learn how to dance, you're breaking both your brain AND your feet out of that routine, and they are thoroughly confused and maybe even upset with you for daring interrupt their comfortable pattern! It will take about a month of just the basic step to assimilate it into muscle/motor memory, and that's our goal- get one thing out of the way, then we'll pick yet another thing to add to that, and build from there.

In addition to showing up though, there are some important things each aspiring dancer needs to know, though, like what to wear and why.

SHOES are important! Wear something with a suede or leather sole, preferably. Crocs (ick!), Tennis shoes, slide-on, or flip-flop type shoes are uncomfortable and sometimes even dangerous to use when dancing. Gentlemen can get by with Roper-style boots (clean ones, please!), Ladies can get by purchasing a cheap pair of suede-footed "ballet flats" from Wal-Mart, a dance supply store, or possibly even a department store. Ensure that they fit slightly snugly like a glove and don't "wobble" on your foot, so they won't wiggle around when you move. If they're so tight you can't *see*, then they probably aren't a good fit, either.

Clothes must be comfortable. If you're wearing a skirt, make sure it either has a very full hem or a split so that you can move your legs freely. Wear shirts that allow your arms to extend fully out to your side in a T, and up over your head as well. If you don't want someone putting their hand on your bare skin, don't wear a halter top or similar clothing. Dancing is a contact past-time, and personal space WILL be tromped all over. Have you SEEN a rumba lately??

Deodorant, breath-mints, and proper hygeine are requisites. There's no polite way to tell somebody they REEK... so don't make us be rude- hose off before coming to class. In this day and age, even if you dance just with your partner, I'd recommend popping a small bottle of hand sanitizer into your purse, just to be safe.

You will likely be asked to dance by one or more people, likely the teachers, if they are teaching something that must be learned by "feel"- you'll have to be shifted into proper position and sometimes even posed. Don't flatter yourself to think they're busting a move on you or take yourself so seriously as to think they're singling you out for bullying- it's JUST dancing, and you want to learn to feel and move the right way, don't you?

On that note, partnership is an ongoing touchy subject. A partner, be it friend, relative, spouse, or whatever, who's willing to come dance with you and practice later on, is highly recommended, but not mandatory. However, if you are "a single", you might find yourself standing or waiting a bit longer for your turn to dance with one of the teachers than you'd like, so don't be frustrated if this happens. It's hard enough to present class material to over twenty students, and the last thing a teacher wants is for you to feel left out. If you don't mind same-gender dancing, that's another option if there are several singles in queue. Your teacher might ask a couple seconds of your time to ascertain what you're doing right and wrong like that, for that matter.

Dance class has many bonus benefits of meeting people, making friends, and so forth... but please don't treat dance class as a pick-up bar. It's always an awkward situation when One Person in the room gives *everyone* "bad vibes", and there's no kind way to handle it other than "natural selection". If this happens to you, you'll find yourself wallflowering quite a lot. As adults, you should behave yourselves. Teachers are only there to instruct dance, not act as a self-esteem counselor (that's just a side-benefit!) or a matchmaker. If you're not there to dance, then you're in the wrong room.

Don't take it personally if your name isn't remembered. Teachers often get into The Zone, and might remember how to break down a complicated figure...but damn if they can recite the alphabet. Honestly, it takes teachers at least four weeks to start to remember names. Faces, sure, no problem, but names.. Oy.

DON'T GET FRUSTRATED AND QUIT! One- it's REALLY tacky and rude to stomp off the floor- this is NOT nursery school. Two- If you give up on a weiner little step, what else will you let beat you in life? Three- it's JUST dancing. Have fun with it. Treat it like a video game- if you get beat, relax for awhile, then go back to it. Ask questions, never be scared to do that. You didn't drive a car out of your mother's uterus, why should you expect to be DWTS material in one hour? The real truth is that DWTS stars and pros work SIX HOURS a day, EVERY DAY, so that by the time you see "just two weeks to learn this cha-cha routine!", you're seeing eighty-plus hours with a real professional, not amateur ballroom enthusiasts helming a college class.

Dancers are unique people. For such a voyeuristic/exhibitionistic pastime, it attracts a lot of shy introverts for some reason. Don't be scared of one another- you're all in the same boat, you're bound to make mistakes, it's just life. Your group class and practice parties are the PERFECT place to stumble, bump into people, even fall if you have to. They're safe zones set aside for PRACTICE, the only way you'll ever get it right! Most dance classes are a low-drama, highly-entertaining group of friends who don't even know each other at first, but later can be found after class at pizza parlors, or on weekends at a local dance-club, and so forth. However you choose to make dancing feel for you, you're wished best of luck, and welcomed into this entertaining and challenging new world! You're going forward- you have power!

[samina]

Original, eh? *eyeroll*

that is so cute...

[samina]

"The person who is moving forward has the power"

huh... i've always heard the opposite! as the woman, usually going backward, i can shut the man down in two seconds flat. take it from this formerly immoveable dancing fire hydrant, lol.

[elisedance]

I agree sam - if there is one thing that drives both partners nuts its if I don't move. 

But G: what an amazing start, you managed to go from no blog to one of the longest in your first day   And I love your writing, please do copy/create here....

[Rugby]

Skip the tic tacs and go for something sugar free.  Tic tacs eat away at your teeth as quick and sure as a drill, especially if you have any part of your root showing, and if you are like most of the population, you probably do.  Nothing worse than disgusting teeth.

[Ginger]

Actually, I don't. I have a sizable gap that I guess if you wanted to, you could point out, though. The original version said Altoids, but people bitched about that- can't please everyone.

And, while we're splitting hairs (hmm, I just realized- I haven't visited *your* blogs yet, bwahaha), the person going forward has accrued momentum... that can or can not be stopped by the person *not* going forward- or whatever- it was an article that was too lengthy and off-the-cuff that fit a particular demographic for the time for the sum of fifty dollars. And I'm sure there are other permutations of inaccuracy in there if you guys look closely enough.

:-)

[SwingWaltz]

LOVE your blog! 

[Rugby]

My blog is kind of boring.

[elisedance]

some of us are more interesting on other people's blogs

[SwingWaltz]

some of us are more interesting on other people's blogs

I love the "Boys' Guide to Ballroom Hygiene"