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Undecided Undecided but not many are posting....
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 1 
 on: July 24, 2014, 05:05:28 PM 
Started by pinkstuff - Last post by elisedance
This is an open forum TTD, we're not just talking about you we're talking about the 'general case' and for that all of the above apply.  Only you know what applies for you.

We're not advising to marry either just exploring the possibility that marriage may be a factor in getting a dance partner.  In my case it was not - my ex was an excellent dancer but hated to dance with me - but I have seen quite a lot of partnerships that work pretty well in marriage - at least the commitment factor is already there.

And if someone is looking for a life partner using dance as a bait - well, caveat emptor; its no different really than using a powerful job, a position in the arts, a fancy car or gads of money. 

The simple fact is that there are very few men out there looking for a serious dance partner.  It seems that in most places there are far more women.  The problem as I see it is that partnerdancing is intimate and requires a lot of honesty and give and take.  If there are only 2 men to chose from what are the odds that that honesty and give and take will happen?  Just about zilch unless one or other of the couple is willing to make a lot of sacrifices for the sake of the dance partnership.  And even so the chance that the partner will split once a slightly more able/attractive/rich you name it comes along is woefully high.

Its interesting to read what SG writes on AM partnerships in the active give and take topic (can't recall the exact name).  That in essence virtually all the couples he knows are both scanning for the next partner to 'move up to' all the time.

 2 
 on: July 24, 2014, 04:22:51 PM 
Started by pinkstuff - Last post by ttd
I'm not a marrying kind anymore.
How about a valet?  Cheesy
You know, I don't like where this is going. This is the kind of thing that perpetuates the idea that single people looking for dance partners look for something else, too.
I think that's silly.  Do you know how many women (as far as I am aware, it almost always that way round) have paid for successful eastern-European males to come to NA to be their partners?  Its very common and its a business deal that gets the man a visa while getting the female one a prime dance partner.  There are also umpteen cases of girls here where the parents pay the amateur partner a stipend plus all the teaching, clothes and entry costs.   By the way, the cases I know of are very carefully chaperoned and, if you know dancers, the serious ones will not jeopardize their partnership with possible complications resulting from personal interactions.
You're talking about people who have enough money to afford that sort of thing. I really don't care about them or what they do, I'm not in their financial league and never will be, and I'm not a young girl in need of a chaperone either, so that's a bad comparison. If we talk about normal people looking for dance partners, it's not that uncommon that singles really look for someone to dance and have a relationship with (stupid idea, imo, but it happens often enough). I recall posts on DF complaining about this, and I recall seeing partner ads worded so that it sounded as if the person was looking for companionship/relationship and wasn't a serious competitive dancer (maybe that was truth in advertising). This is why I think that suggesting that the best way for a competitive dancer to get a committed partner is to marry him, is counter-productive in a sense that it perpetuates the idea that partner dancing and relationship go together.

 3 
 on: July 24, 2014, 03:29:08 PM 
Started by pinkstuff - Last post by elisedance
I'm not a marrying kind anymore.
How about a valet?  Cheesy
You know, I don't like where this is going. This is the kind of thing that perpetuates the idea that single people looking for dance partners look for something else, too.
I think that's silly.  Do you know how many women (as far as I am aware, it almost always that way round) have paid for successful eastern-European males to come to NA to be their partners?  Its very common and its a business deal that gets the man a visa while getting the female one a prime dance partner.  There are also umpteen cases of girls here where the parents pay the amateur partner a stipend plus all the teaching, clothes and entry costs.   By the way, the cases I know of are very carefully chaperoned and, if you know dancers, the serious ones will not jeopardize their partnership with possible complications resulting from personal interactions.

 4 
 on: July 24, 2014, 11:55:05 AM 
Started by pinkstuff - Last post by ttd
I'm not a marrying kind anymore.
How about a valet?  Cheesy
You know, I don't like where this is going. This is the kind of thing that perpetuates the idea that single people looking for dance partners look for something else, too.

 5 
 on: July 24, 2014, 11:26:21 AM 
Started by pinkstuff - Last post by elisedance
I'm not a marrying kind anymore.
How about a valet?  Cheesy

 6 
 on: July 24, 2014, 10:37:13 AM 
Started by pinkstuff - Last post by ttd
I'm not a marrying kind anymore.

 7 
 on: July 24, 2014, 08:33:42 AM 
Started by QPO - Last post by elisedance
BTW, love your avatar!

 8 
 on: July 24, 2014, 08:32:47 AM 
Started by QPO - Last post by elisedance
Hi there stranger!  What a European tour that was.  How did you both manage to get so much time off?

we are entitled to 20 days per year annual leave in Australia. and I don't go on leave for 18 months so we can then have up to six weeks. I now pick comps that are on Saturdays so I dont have to take time off of work. I also work through my lunch hours most weeks and my boss then does not mind if I leave early on a Friday to travel. Cheesy 

If I run out then it is leave without pay, but I have not had to do that yet.
You must have a great new boss too then.  How do you pick them Smiley

 9 
 on: July 24, 2014, 08:31:50 AM 
Started by ZPomeroy - Last post by elisedance
You weren't around here so I caught you on FB.  But happy PDOrthday - that's the day you recognize it on here Smiley

 10 
 on: July 24, 2014, 08:30:19 AM 
Started by pinkstuff - Last post by elisedance
Well, at this point, I am not sure my prospective partnership will happen. We did a few heats at a local showcase in December, that went OK, but it's pretty much like dancing at a social, except they limit how many couples there is on the floor. We practiced  together a few times after I went to Heritage in March, that went OK, too, and then he got involved with local theater, and did two productions pretty much back to back, which left him no time to do anything else. Now we have a local pro-am event coming up in a few weeks, and both of us will be busy getting ready for that. Which leaves something like a month to practice for the am-am event in September (and I have no idea when the entries deadline is, but I think it's some time in August).

Gosh he is trying to  do many things....Very difficult...and as with the rest of the world. finding a man who will dance with commitment is very hard.
Best shot is to marry him eh? Grin

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